Back to work...sigh...any tips?

WedDayinMay

So tomorrow I have to brave work. sigh.  ER Sunday - no heartbeat and us heart-broken. Confirmation of loss Monday - our precious baby was only measuring 7 weeks at 10 wk 1 day. D&E Tuesday.  It all happened so fast.

I am dreading tomorrow. No one knew yet I was pregnant - I'm scared to face my co-workers as I know they'll ask why I've been out.  Many, I don't care to tell. Close friends, I would, but I know I can't without breaking down.  I really would rather just stay at home...for good. I can't imagine being productive...

Any tips on how you survived the first day, first week back?

nikki04vb

I plan to just be honest.  Tell my coworkers what happened.  I think it'll be easier to just be up front and I think they'll all be supportive- even the ones I'm not that close with.  Keeping it to yourself will be hard.  Sometimes it's better to just talk about it.  It helps you heal.  GL- the first day will come and go and you'll be fine.  Give us an update on your lunch break if you're having a rough day. ((((Hugs))))

lovely40

nikki04vb:

I plan to just be honest.  Tell my coworkers what happened.  I think it'll be easier to just be up front and I think they'll all be supportive- even the ones I'm not that close with.  Keeping it to yourself will be hard.  Sometimes it's better to just talk about it.  It helps you heal.  GL- the first day will come and go and you'll be fine.  Give us an update on your lunch break if you're having a rough day. ((((Hugs))))

I agree with nikki - i know it's so hard to talk about and what you really want to do is tell them to buzz off... but I think you'll feel better in the long run if you are honest and just get it out in the open. It's okay to break down - I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I hope you find a surprising amount of wonderful support.

ginamcp

Last Thursday was my first day back and it was hard.  The first person I saw was someone from another department that I rarely speak to and she said "Hey!  Where have you been?!?!  Did you go on vacation?" and I just mumbled something about working from home.  There were only a few people at my office that knew I was pg and I had no desire to tell anyone else that I had miscarried so I just did lots of fake smiling and "Oh I'm great".  For me lying was more comfortable than telling people what had actually happened.  I hope that your day goes well and that you do what feels best for you whether that is telling people or not.  *heart*

SeaBlue73

I'm sorry to hear about your loss & I can relate to your struggle going back to work.  My first day back was today, and I ended up leaving.  My advice to you is to honor your feelings & do what feels right to you.  I thought I was ready to go back, but about 10 minutes into being at work, I broke down crying.  Luckily, I have a supportive group of colleagues & principal, and they all encouraged me to go home.  In that sense, being honest with your co-workers can really pay off in terms of getting what you need from them.

I hope your day went ok, and best wishes with the recovery process (both physically & mentally).

bryanandkatrina

I am so very sorry for your loss.

I would do whatever feels best for your, only you know what you can and cannot handle right now - don't push yourself too much before your ready. The healing process takes time.

Snowbride02

I just wanted to offer more support. I miscarried last week and Monday was my first day back. It's been a long difficult week but I'm taking it one day at time. Good luck and hugs. There is no easy part to this process.

jenrdh01

((hugs)) i am sharing your rough day along with you.  i work in a small dental office and everyone knew. i'm sitting here waiting for them all to come in and give me "the look"....i don't know how i'll react to that look.

i have to wait a week to see if my cycle starts or else have a d&c. so i'm back to work not even a full day after finding out it happened.

love out to you

inlovewithB

Oh... I hate that you have to go back! I really considered quiting my job and wish I had. Almost everyone knew I was pregnant. When I called in to tell them I wasn't comming back after my u/s on 9/14, my boss went around the office and told everyone what happened (there are approx. 50 people in our office). My first day back was Monday and it was horrible! I wish people didn't know!! The "sad faces" are really hard to deal with. If I could do it all over again, I wouldn't have told anyone I was pregnant, and would have kept the details to myself when I returned. GL! I still cry a couple of times a day, when someone feels the need to tell me they are sorry, or when I run into a pregnant co-worker. Each day is a little easier, but I don't know when there will be a day with no tears.