What Language Should I Speak In To My Child?

amiris

My baby is 18 months old. We are originally from the Dominican Republic. Both my husband and I were born in DR, but came to this country at a very young age. We both grew up speaking only spanish at first, and learned english in school. But this was because our parents didn't speak english (well my father did, but chose to speak only spanish to us). My husband insists we only speak spanish to our son.

Currently he only understands and says a couple of words in english because his babysitter also only speaks spanish to him. I feel like if I do not teach him english, I'm depriving him. I'm scared that when he starts pre-school that he will be separated from the other children because of the language barrier and may not learn as fast.

Can anyone relate? What has worked in the past for you? 

macchiatto

Being raised bilingually is a wonderful gift to give a child! I would go ahead and teach him both. Many bilingual families have one parent speak one language to the child and the other parent speak the other language (e.g. my brother speaks English to their kids and SIL speaks Russian) as one ay to help the kids differentiate between the two languages. There are other ways to go about it and I'm not sure if there's more recent research with another recommendation, but that's what most of the bilingual families I know do.

kiarox2002

macchiatto:

Being raised bilingually is a wonderful gift to give a child! I would go ahead and teach him both. Many bilingual families have one parent speak one language to the child and the other parent speak the other language (e.g. my brother speaks English to their kids and SIL speaks Russian) as one ay to help the kids differentiate between the two languages. There are other ways to go about it and I'm not sure if there's more recent research with another recommendation, but that's what most of the bilingual families I know do.

My BIL and his wife do this- he speaks to the kids in English and she speaks to them in Norweigen.  My SIL told me that her kids would likely be about 1 year behind in language development at first, but would be fully fluent.  I wish my spanish was good enough to try this with DD, but sadly I'm faaaaar from fluent.  

Soap1

I have also heard of many families who have one parent speak exclusively in one language and the other speak exclusively in the other language.  That might be the best way to go - your LO will get Spanish from your DH and the babysitter and English from you!

I spoke Spanish before English and was fluent as a child, but if you don't use it, you lose it.  I wish I were more fluent; if I were I would speak exclusively Spanish to DS!

mandolynn81

my friend is raising her daughter billingual. Her husband speaks mostly german and she speaks mostly english. Her husband is able to speak english just fine and has been in the states for many years now (since college i think), but he wishes her to learn to speak it well, as her grandparents barely speak english. 

 

macchiatto

Also, I have two good friends (a Taiwanese-American and a Chinese-British) who really didn't speak English at home and had to learn when they went to kindergarten and preschool, respectively. They both said it was a tough transition and very scary at first. I would definitely make sure your LO is comfortable in English before starting school!
(I lived in Asia for 5 years, which is one reason why I know so many bilingual families. )

afwifestrecker7706

I think it is great you want your child to speak Spanish also but you have to think about where you live. Agree with the others maybe one speak Spanish and the other English. I think it would be a disservice to your child to not have them speak English in a country where English is the primary language. And I think it would be harder for him once he starts school. I had many people who I grew up with who did not learn English at a young age and had to be put in special classes to learn and they had to have special help to know what was going in the classes. Granted I did grow up in CA and most were people who came here themselves when older but I just think to be on the same level with the other children in his classes it would be better if he learned English.

Mrs.C042807

Food for thought:  I work in a community where the first time the kids learn to speak English is in Kindergarten.  They have to learn English on top of everything else you are expected to learn in school.

If you can do both, go for it! 

Cityplanner

I think, if they are going to hear mostly English on tv and in stores and from people other than you, that you're fine speaking in Spanish at home. They'll pick up English by all of those external sources. My nephews are being brought up bilingual. They speak only French in the home, but hear English outside and at daycare and on tv. They're more proficient in French but understand both and I'm sure by kindergarten will be able to speak in both. If your friends and family speak mostly Spanish and you live in a neighborhood where Spanish is the predominate language, I'd be incline to speak more English at home just so they get a balance.

blushingbrideoct07

I come from a bilingual family.  My sister speaks both Italian and English to her sons, their dad speaks only English, and my mother speaks only Italian to them.  (My mom watches them once a week.)

My nephew is almost 3 years old and can speak and understand both languages. He already knows that there is a difference btw the languages and if you ask him to say a word or phrase in Italian and he does not feel like it he will tell you that he doesn't want to say that word that way.  He can read and write some English words and my sister is starting to teach him to read in Italian too.  

Example of a typical conversation btw my mom and Luca.

Mom: Luca dimmi Gato.  Luca: I do not want to say cat that way.   

Wed notdead!

I speak to him in English. MH and my mom speak to him in both English and Spanish. My dad and my ILs speak to him in Spanish. 

tandt92505

I'm a native English speaker who moved to South America and is raising DD here. I've chosen to speak English to her because that is what "my heart speaks", eventhough I'm fluent in Spanish and my husband and I speak Spanish to eachother.

At this point, she barely understands Spanish. She'll go to pre-school in Spanish to get her ready for kindergarten, but in the meantime, I actively seek out opportunities for her to play with kids whose moms speak only Spanish. I don't know whether I'm doing her a disservice, but I figure the year of adjustment she may face is worth a lifetime of bilingualism and the bond we have because our "hearts speak the same language".

laurenFaith

My husband speaks to DD only in French and I speak to her only in English. She understands both languages 100% but she speaks primarily in English because everything around her is English. If you speak to her in French she answers mostly in English but completely comprehends what was said to her.

DH plays French cartoons, reads French books and plays French music for her so she is getting the language from different sources.

MamiJam

I would speak both.  I am fluent in Spanish but English was my 1st language.  Growing up both languages were spoken at home but since moving out, marrying DH who took Spanish is school but is far from fluent has not allowed me to practice enough and now i'm forgetting Spanish   I think it's best to introduce both at an early age so that they build a solid foundation for later.  I know a couple where mom speaks Spanish almost exclusively and dad speaks English to LO and LO (who is 3) understands and can speak both fluently.

amiris

Thank You Ladies for all your feedback!

I have decided to speak mostly english to him, and have my husband speak to him in spanish. I want him to be on the same level as the other children once he starts school. I hope to get him into pre-school by three where they will speak mostly english. I have read and sung to him in english since he was a newborn, so he should learn fast!

Mrs.DeliaMarieP

I've always heard that at this age, they can learn both languages simultaneously.  My cousin's main first language was french (born in Belgium), but learned english simultaneously, and by the time she was 3 could also speak Swahili. 

Being bilingual is one of the best gifts, and living in the US, where english is the most commonly used language for school, it would probably be best to teach both right from the get-go.

To help persuade your husband, you could ask the pedi to see what he/she says as well.

maple2

I have several friends who raised bilingual kids.  One of those couples took the approach of always speaking Spanish at home and English outside of the home.  They wanted to create environments in which the kid would actually practice both languages.  They had read something somewhere about kids raised in bilingual families being able to understand both languages really well but often only being fluently able to speak one of them.

anna7602

I'm jumping in from 24 months + to dispell your fears. I have only spoken to DD in Spanish since the moment she was born. DH does speak to her English, but he works very long hours and is often gone before she wakes up and gets home after she goes to sleep. Our babysitters are all Spanish-speakers and so are my parents, who see DD a lot.

I would then say that her environment is probably about 70-80% Spanish. We had a few bumps here and there where I worried about whether she understood things at library story time and whether I should be making an effort to teach her things like body parts and colors in English (body parts, I did, in case she ever got hurt when I wasn't with her and needed to tell someone what was wrong, but not colors).

Fast forward to now. She just started pre-school THREE weeks ago and is already speaking as much English (or maybe even more) as she does Spanish. In fact, we just had a discussion this morning in which she asked me for "apple juice" and refused, refused, refused to say "jugo de manzana," something she has been saying for months. I suspect this is just the tip of the iceberg. So, please, go ahead and speak to your child in Spanish if you live somewhere where he will be exposed to a lot of English later anyway.

SwissPrincessBride

My husband speaks four languages and is teaching our daughter two of them. I speak to her in English and he speaks to her in Swiss German and sometimes High German. She needs to learn all three as half her family is still in Switzerland and we hope to move back there one day. We both feel that learning these languages will only help her grown as a person and serve her well into the future.

 I too was concerned about her being slow to speak with having a bilingual home life but she is doing wonderfully. She is a little sponge and repeats so much (sometimes too much, lol!). Best of luck to you.

bethbarajas

anna7602:

I'm jumping in from 24 months + to dispell your fears. I have only spoken to DD in Spanish since the moment she was born. DH does speak to her English, but he works very long hours and is often gone before she wakes up and gets home after she goes to sleep. Our babysitters are all Spanish-speakers and so are my parents, who see DD a lot.

I would then say that her environment is probably about 70-80% Spanish. We had a few bumps here and there where I worried about whether she understood things at library story time and whether I should be making an effort to teach her things like body parts and colors in English (body parts, I did, in case she ever got hurt when I wasn't with her and needed to tell someone what was wrong, but not colors).

Fast forward to now. She just started pre-school THREE weeks ago and is already speaking as much English (or maybe even more) as she does Spanish. In fact, we just had a discussion this morning in which she asked me for "apple juice" and refused, refused, refused to say "jugo de manzana," something she has been saying for months. I suspect this is just the tip of the iceberg. So, please, go ahead and speak to your child in Spanish if you live somewhere where he will be exposed to a lot of English later anyway.

This.

My husband doesn't speak English and I try to speak only Spanish to DS. His DCP only speaks Spanish. Only 1 child in his daycare speaks English (she is bilingual). DS is exposed to English from my family, books, and the tv. This is how the majority of our friends/coworkers have raised their kids and they haven't had any issues once their kids started school, but then again we are in Miami where everybody is bilingual or Spanish only speakers.

 

 

bethbarajas

anna7602:

I'm jumping in from 24 months + to dispell your fears. I have only spoken to DD in Spanish since the moment she was born. DH does speak to her English, but he works very long hours and is often gone before she wakes up and gets home after she goes to sleep. Our babysitters are all Spanish-speakers and so are my parents, who see DD a lot.

I would then say that her environment is probably about 70-80% Spanish. We had a few bumps here and there where I worried about whether she understood things at library story time and whether I should be making an effort to teach her things like body parts and colors in English (body parts, I did, in case she ever got hurt when I wasn't with her and needed to tell someone what was wrong, but not colors).

Fast forward to now. She just started pre-school THREE weeks ago and is already speaking as much English (or maybe even more) as she does Spanish. In fact, we just had a discussion this morning in which she asked me for "apple juice" and refused, refused, refused to say "jugo de manzana," something she has been saying for months. I suspect this is just the tip of the iceberg. So, please, go ahead and speak to your child in Spanish if you live somewhere where he will be exposed to a lot of English later anyway.

This.

My husband doesn't speak English and I try to speak only Spanish to DS. His DCP only speaks Spanish. Only 1 child in his daycare speaks English (she is bilingual). DS is exposed to English from my family, books, and the tv. This is how the majority of our friends/coworkers have raised their kids and they haven't had any issues once their kids started school, but then again we are in Miami where everybody is bilingual or Spanish only speakers.

 

 

FerreraRochermmm

We speak English, French and Spanish to our daughter. She says words in all three languages and understands what we say. I was raised speaking all three because my parents did the same to me. It may slightly delay speech but in the long run it is beneficial.