Would you be offended?

Buttercup29

Our baby shower that our neighbors are throwing for us has turned into a cocktail hour vs. a baby shower. They are having someone come bartend the event at their home and mentioned that this person may or may not be shirtless and wearing a bowtie. At first it didn't bother me, but my nephews will be next door during this party and I also worry about our guest who don't drink feeling uncomfortable. The party is from 2-4pm and while I don't mind having cocktails (even if I can't drink them) for our guests, I would perfer people not get smashed at this party nor the theme. Since I am not hosting it and just the guest of honor - how do I let the host know my feelings without upsetting them. They are really going out of their way to open up their home and do all food/beverages. Would you be offended if you attended this shower?

sarlah

Personally, I wouldn't be offended in the least. I've been known to enjoy a cocktail or two, in fact one of the last baby showers I attended there were mimosas being served the whole time.

If you feel like the shower may be heading in a direction you aren't comfortable with then maybe you should try to find a way to say something... I know it's awkward, but if I were hosting a shower for a friend of mine and she wasn't ok with something then I would want her to let me know.

DreamsBride411

I would think it was odd and a bit off color, but definitely not offended. I have no advice on how to even tell you to handle it. Talk about an awkward situation.

katers1279

I wouldn't be offended, but, I think it's a bit over the top, considering the fact it's a baby shower.

You ARE the guest of honor (it's obviously been established by your neighbors that this is a party for you), so, you have every right to say something.  Even if it's something in a questioning tone....

"Do you think this is a little wild for a baby shower?" might suffice on it's own. 

chickymel

wow that sounds like an interesting baby shower!  I wouldn't be offended, but I do think its a bit odd ... I agree with Katy's suggestion though, that may be the best way to open the topic and just let them know that you think its a bit much. 

Ashleysred

As a guest, I think this sounds like the greatest baby shower ever!  I can totally see where you are coming from though.  As the guest of honor, I am not sure that's how I would want my baby shower to go down.

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Buttercup29

I love the drink list idea Marelina. Good call.

I just know that since our neighbors don't have kids and love to throw a good party took to heart when I said no baby games but a casual setting. Somehow it got turned into this. I am going to ask DH to chat with them about offending certain guest. I just feel bad because DH doesn't get why this would be offensive to some - but I just don't think it would be appropriate for a baby shower - - bridal shower, wedding shower - totally cool.

Thanks ladies!

Buttercup29

p.s. if anyone is planning a trip to Charlotte in October - you are totally welcome to come crash the party.

modom3278

Is there any chance at all that the neighbor is joking or trying to throw you off track by telling you that there will be a shirtless bartender?  My friends kept trying to tell me that the games were all things that I would never be okay with, just trying to throw me off and keep as much of the shower a surprise as possible.  Hopefully that will be the case for you!

If not, as a guest I would not be offended at all by the cocktails, since I think they are fine for whoever wants to partake (we had beer and wine at my shower, which was a backyard BBQ - some people drank a bit, others didn't, but no one got out of control), but the shirtless bartender for an afternoon baby shower does sound a little strange.

Buttercup29

We LOVE our neighbors, but they always come up with crazy party ideas. They had a tent party last November with an India theme. They love to go all out for birthdays and such. That's why we love them for being so different and fun, but my family who is super conservative would be offended - plus having the nephews there would make it tough. I really wish they planned our wedding reception - It would be like a Lady Gaga show.

dani_girl08

DreamsBride411:

I would think it was odd and a bit off color, but definitely not offended. I have no advice on how to even tell you to handle it. Talk about an awkward situation.

Ditto. 

Ashleysred

Um, wait.  I didn't realize the bartender would be shirtless.  Whoa.  Yes, totally inappropriate for a baby shower.  I still wouldn't be offended and I would laugh hysterically.  But yeah, he should wear a shirt.

natalee215

I find the shirtless bartender a bit odd, but I guess your baby shower would definitely be remembered.  I wouldn't be offended as a guest, but if I were you, yes, I think I'd be a bit offended.  There was beer and wine at my baby shower, but no shirtless bartender!

katers1279

Ashleysred:

Um, wait.  I didn't realize the bartender would be shirtless.  Whoa.  Yes, totally inappropriate for a baby shower.  I still wouldn't be offended and I would laugh hysterically.  But yeah, he should wear a shirt.

Yes, I should say that I wouldn't look twice at the drinks, but, the shirtless bartender is what makes wonder.

Mrs.G_09

katers1279:

Ashleysred:

Um, wait.  I didn't realize the bartender would be shirtless.  Whoa.  Yes, totally inappropriate for a baby shower.  I still wouldn't be offended and I would laugh hysterically.  But yeah, he should wear a shirt.

Yes, I should say that I wouldn't look twice at the drinks, but, the shirtless bartender is what makes wonder.

This. I would be thinking "Did I just arrive at a baby shower or Chippendales?"