having trouble deciding to have a hb...

DeAnna&DavidRyder

So I really want a homebirth. I interviewed midwives in my first tri. but ultimately decided to go with a midwife-recommended ob. (no birthing centers anyways sorta near.)

but now i'm seriously reconsidering. 

i don't know how to decide.

i've done all the research. i feel so educated. i hear these wonderful hb stories.

but part of me is kind of scared.

were any of you like this.

i feel like i'm the only one.

 

 

jteneback

What is it you are scared about?

DeAnna&DavidRyder

I don't have a freakin clue!

I wish it was something specific so I could research it and decide from there.

But i've researched SO many things that can go wrong and a lot of them seem to like being in a hospital won't even make a difference for a lot of them. . . 

but I think because he's my first I just don't know what to expect from my body.

but the thought of me being pressured into a section or something scares the shiz outa me too. haha 

I'm curious about what kinds of things would be TRUE emergencies and mean going to the hospital? 

pinksweetpea2

No.  The tour I took at the hospital scare me though.  The decision to switch was easy.  

Homebirths are not for everyone.  For me it was right- it is where I felt most comfortable.  That might not be the case for you.

GL   

DeAnna&DavidRyder

pinksweetpea2:

No.  The tour I took at the hospital scare me though.  The decision to switch was easy.  

Homebirths are not for everyone.  For me it was right- it is where I felt most comfortable.  That might not be the case for you.

GL   

haha i don't really feel completely comfortable with either right now. and i know i won't stop feeling uncomfortable about the hospital but i might stop feeling uncomfortable about a homebirth. i think my husband is silently hoping for a hb but wants it to be my decision.

what were some of your biggest reasons to HB?  

jteneback

See, my biggest reason to HB is that I think I would feel so much more comfortable at home.  I also admit that I have control issues

I talked through all my questions about serious complications with my MW, and she made me feel very comfortable.  The fact that she is really conservative with transfers (such as with any bleeding) made me feel safe, for instance.  Maybe scheduling an interview would help answer some of your concerns?

I agree home birth is not for everyone, but it kind of sounds like you want to get there.

pinksweetpea2

I didn't want to have to fight for what I know is normal.  Everything I wanted for Lily (and myself) from the birth was normal at home, but would have been an uphill battle at the hospital.  I didn't want to have to fight while I was in labor.

Once I met with my MW, I knew I had made the right decision.  She was SO much better than the hospital MW practice I was seeing- night and day. 

 

Nikkit78

I chose a hb because I didn't want to feel pressured by the hospital protocols and end up with a c-section.   I found a great MW team and was confident in their skills to determine if I needed to be transported to the hospital at any point.  My first baby was a natural birth in the hospital and though it ended up going well I was unhappy about having to stay there the required 24 hours and during the birth was frustrated with the nurses threats of intervention and questioning my decision for no pain medication.  I can understand your apprehension and whatever you choose stick to your guns about what you want : ).     

missfire

When pregnant with my first, I knew I was freaked out by the idea of a hospital birth, and found a great birth center. I didn't consider a home birth because I had this idea that it would be overwhelmingly messy, and I had some doubts about my body's ability to give birth. That experience has made me comfortable with planning for a homebirth for this pregnancy. I was at home for most of my labor last time anyway, and then came home so soon afterwards that now it's easy to imagine being home the whole time.

I think either choice may take a leap of faith - either to brave a h.b. or brave a hospital. But trust that you're going to do great at your birth! Once you believe that, it might be easier to decide which experience you want to try.

flyer23

pinksweetpea2:

I didn't want to have to fight for what I know is normal.  Everything I wanted for Lily (and myself) from the birth was normal at home, but would have been an uphill battle at the hospital.  I didn't want to have to fight while I was in labor.

Once I met with my MW, I knew I had made the right decision.  She was SO much better than the hospital MW practice I was seeing- night and day.

This. I loved my hospital-based MW practice and I don't hesitate to recommend them to other moms. They, and the hospital that they deliver at, are VERY natural-birth friendly.

But I guess the turning point for me came during my first prenatal appointment with my doula, when I was going over some of my birth preferences, like wanting to eat/drink during labor and not wanting a routine hep lock. And my doula (who is NOT anti-hospital AT ALL, and knows my MWs and my hospital very well) let me know that, well, eating/drinking was technically against policy but I could sneak some food in, and, well, I could refuse a hep lock but the hospital really did encourage it, etc. etc.

Also, I brought DD to one of my prenatal appointments and we stopped by the hospital afterwards, and she was visibly uncomfortable. Quite understandable, as hospitals are not the most comfortable places! But I wanted to integrate her into the birth, since I consider it to be a major family event, and she's part of our family! She was so much more comfortable at home. It also made the logistics easier for DH, having all of us (DD, DS, and me) in one place, rather than having to shuttle back and forth between DS/me in the hospital and DD at home.

Ultimately, though, I think it really depends on your homebirth options AND your hospital options. My HB midwife came HIGHLY recommended, but I loved my hospital as well, so it was a VERY hard choice to switch (although ultimately, I'm really glad I did). If I hadn't had such a great HB midwife option, or if my hospital options had really sucked, it would have been a much easier choice (either way).

JoelsGirl07

We chose a HB (this time) because it is right for us. No one can make that decision for you. I asked someone I trust greatly (our birth instructor from pg #1) who she had hired for her HB (that she ended up not calling and went UA). She told me who, and why. She used to be a doula and told me that she has seen how this MW reacts to true emergencies. We met with her, we love her, and that was it. 

The hospital I delivered at was not the problem to me, the problem was the practice. And while I had switched practices, I just decided that the threat of "the clock" was more than I could handle. The clock caused me to have a scar on my belly, and a scar on my heart (and mind). I am not afraid of what my body can or cannot do, I'm afraid of what "modern obstetrics"' won't allow my body to do in it's own time. 

But overall, you have to be completely ok with whatever you decide. As Ina May says, there is always the sphincter problem. Your cervix is a sphincter, and just as you wouldn't poop with a million people telling you how, you can't birth a baby unless allowed to do it the way YOUR body does it.