Do I have a right to be mad? (posted on showers also)

CheyenneShaw

So im 31 weeks pregnant. I was under the impression that I wasn't having a shower because people who said they would throw one earlier bailed. Well my grandmother called DHs grandma and said (not verbatim here) "havent heard that anyones throwing Cheyenne a shower. Are yall gonna do it?" that annoyed me in itself. I don't NEED a shower, and I don't want anyone throwing a shower because they feel they have to! Anyways I got a wall post from DHs Cousin saying "hey me and mom are trying to plan you a shower" all I replied was "that sounds wonderful, thank you!" Now I feel like a charity case. Like they are doing it because they feel bad that no one else would throw one for me. Also nobody has asked me for addresses, names, a registry, what time is best for me. I don't even think they know how far along i am. They just know I'm due in November. How do I even know if I should actually be expecting a shower??Its a nice gesture but I'm not happy with this situation at all. Idek how to explain why I'm so annoyed with it... I guess if they throw one they throw one, but I'm getting what i don't have off the list. I'm not going to wait around on people... ---vent over---

Hyfagal

I'm not sure why you're annoyed with people wanting to throw you a shower. If anything I'd expect you to be annoyed with the ones that bailed on you. If they just started planning they're prob not ready to send out invitations yet.

CheyenneShaw

Hyfagal:

I'm not sure why you're annoyed with people wanting to throw you a shower. If anything I'd expect you to be annoyed with the ones that bailed on you. If they just started planning they're prob not ready to send out invitations yet.

Im not annoyed with that, im annoyed that they are doing it because DHs grandmother asked them to out of sympathy. Id rather not have one than to have one just because someone felt sorry for me

Acendaneil

I can see how you are annoyed with the situation, but I suggest just taking it easy and relax.  Just get a registry all set up and if people (possible guests, etc.) want to get you something from there just let them know where you are registered at.  If you end up having a shower and they show, great!  If you end up not having a shower, it'll be more of a personal experience with those people who stop by and give you a gift or even just visit.

 

 

Sugarpie3

CheyenneShaw:

Hyfagal:

I'm not sure why you're annoyed with people wanting to throw you a shower. If anything I'd expect you to be annoyed with the ones that bailed on you. If they just started planning they're prob not ready to send out invitations yet.

Im not annoyed with that, im annoyed that they are doing it because DHs grandmother asked them to out of sympathy. Id rather not have one than to have one just because someone felt sorry for me

If it bothers you THAT much, call them up and say "thanks, but no thanks" and be done with it... No one says you HAVE to have a a shower.

mamafoxX2

A shower is a gift in itself, so accept what you are given graciously, despite whatever reasoning is behind it.

jamiemsmith

Keep in mind that these people probably wanted to go to a shower for you, but weren't too keen on throwing it. Responsibility is a b!tch most of the time. So they waited to see if anyone else would do it. Just be glad they love you enough to do it, it's not a necessity. I get how you're annoyed though, but be gracious about it. They're excited for you.

wife1014

Considering you've been whining about a shower, or lack thereof, for a while now, you have two choices.  You can graciously accept their offer and have a nice time or say no thank you. 

lesleslie

To be honest I would be more mad at the fact that my grandmother approached DH grandmother and basically implied they had to throw you a shower. If your grandmother was so adament about you having a shower she should have planed one for you or at least stated she would like to help in some way if she was unable to plan the whole thing herself. Either way, be greatful you are getting a shower, like pp said a shower is a gift in itself.

xoashleigh4ox

there is no reason to be mad.. so what they called to see what was going on b/c no one talked about it to each other.. my in laws ask me if anyone was throwing me a shower and i had to tell them yes my sister was throwing it.. i don't see what the big deal is that a phone call was made.. she probably wanted to know if they were doing it b/c if not then she would have.. there is no reason to be mad or annoyed.. i would be thankful they are giving you a shower.. now go set up a registry and stop your whining..