Older child + twins

MommyNoelle

What did you do to get your older LO prepared for the twins arrival? 

Libby & Lottie will not be coming home for awhile, but because Gavin is in such a fragile state, I want to start early.

We haven't finished the girl's nursery yet--cribs are not put together etc.--but I thought if we put the cribs up and put two baby dolls in them, we could talk about the babies etc. Or role-playing (i.e. holding a baby while playing with him).

If your twins had to come home with machines (we know Libby will have to), did this affect the way your LO reacted? 

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We really didn't do much at all.  DS was 27m when the twins were born and he'd never been around a baby and I didn't think he would've understood what was happening.  I do think that you have some good ideas though.  Just make sure that he doesn't feel forgotten and do the best you can.  He's young enough that he'll never remember this phase and it'll seem that the twins were always part of his life.  GL.

busybea

I think you definitely have the right idea.  My Nicholas is too young to realize these are his brothers.  I started when I was pregant and (tried to) explain to him that there were babies inside my belly and that he would soon meet them.  I also pretended with dolls, tried to teach him to be gentle when he touched them, etc.  After they were born he got to see them through a window in the NICU, but it wasn't until he actually "met" them at our home that he realized they were more than just dolls.  He wants to "touch" them and he talks to them all the time, he also seems concerned when he hears them cry and although he is still a gentle child, I am still always there just in case. 

I've heard over and over again that THE most important thing you can do is first show attention to your older child and then the twins.  The older child must feel like he is #1 now.  The twins will not know the difference this early on.  Good luck!  )

meagamomma2be

I gave my older daughter 2 dolls and when I fed the twins, she fed her dolls.  She burped & changed her dolls too.  I just tried to make her feel included in everything and she didn't get jealous.  Like PP said, make him feel like he is #1.  Set aside some alone time w/ him every day.

DEP

I hate to say it but there's not much you can do other than talk about them.  What's better is to prepare for after they come home....see if you can arrange for someone to come watch the twins so that you and he can get some 1:1 time together.  Maintain his schedule/naps the same as possible. Allow him to be as involved as safely possible with dressing them, calming them, playing with them.  I will warn you that the for me the first 6 months was difficult in terms of safety.  However, it all gets better and the whole process is an adjustment phase.  You are giving him the 2 best gifts ever, so remind yourself of that!