Need some opinions on whether to tell tomorrow (long - sorry)
I know that it's ultimately my decision on when to tell people about this pregnancy, but I would love to hear your thoughts on the debate I'm having with myself.
I'm 9 weeks pregnant, and we had an ultrasound last week that showed the baby's heartbeat. I've never had a miscarriage or any bleeding or anything - basically, there's no specific reason to think I'd lose this baby (although, I know it can happen at anytime).
We had planned on waiting to tell anyone until I see my parents in a couple of weeks. I'll be 11 weeks pregnant then, and I figured that was a good time to share the news.
The complicating factor is that I'm seeing my sister tomorrow for dinner. I'm going to her city - she lives about 5.5 hours away. We get along well, although we aren't necessarily particularly close. We only talk on the phone occasionally, and I see her maybe 6 times / year.
My husband pointed out that I should think about telling her tomorrow that I'm pregnant (he's leaving it up to me to set the timeline of when we tell people). If I don't tell her in person tomorrow, I'll have to tell her over the phone, because I won't see her again until Thanksgiving.
I think I WANT to tell her, but I guess I'm a little scared about it being earlier than our original timeline. But, I can't tell if I'm being reasonable about wanting to wait, or if I'm just all worried about it because it's making me uncomfortable to change our original plans with telling (I'm a huge planner).
Other pieces of relevant info: My parents won't be upset if I tell my sister first, and I know my sister would be understanding and supportive if I lost the baby.
Any thoughts? Sorry this is so long!
Re: Need some opinions on whether to tell tomorrow (long - sorry)
This
After having 2 pregnancies and three losses,I don't mond telling close friends and family only. I'm glad I did tell earlier because of the loss.It was nice to have the support.
M/C,infant loss is nothing to be ashamed of.
I say tell her, she is your sister
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I totally understand where your coming from. I am a huge planner myself. The first time around i told my parents and siblings at the same time. Everyone was after 12 weeks. This time I actually end up doing the same thing told everyone when I found out parents and sibs. but for the rest of my family I will tell later. So if your going to see your sister she is supportive and you feel comfortable telling her in person versus the phone. Then go for it. You already said your parents wouldnt mind. However, my mom would if I told anyone before her lol so she was the first to know.
You do sound reasonable with waiting. You sound like you want to because your husband suggested it but then you sound like deep down you rather wait..??? If you dont mind saying it over the phone then wait. It sounds like thats the real issue since your seeing her in person its better versus waiting when your timeline is up and its over the phone or either Thanksgiving. I dont think its anything wrong with the phone. Just say you wanted to wait to make sure everything was ok.
Tell her.
I'm in Week 7 (first pg) - DH & I haven't told anyone yet EXCEPT I told my best girlfriend 2 nights ago via email. She called me back right away and her reaction made me feel SO GOOD. She was way more excited for me than I thought she'd be and it was great to just enjoy the moment with a fellow female. (DH is the reluctant reactor type)
Still debating on when to tell my parents - his parents - our siblings - etc... but I have to say telling that first person is a real treat (so long as you're pretty sure their reaction won't be something like, "are you going to keep it?")
After gabbing with my BFF for an hour, I told DH he should tell his closest brother if he wants. I heard him on the phone later that night, and I think he too really liked "getting it off his chest". As much as the moment you find out you're pg is between you & DH - there is something to be said about how telling other people starts to make it feel "more real".