DD "doesn't like school"

heyitsme

Does anyone else have a child who doesn't like to be challenged?

As I've posted before, DD is at a new school this year... and on top of being in a new school, she was switched to a combination 1st/2nd grade class last Friday. Despite it being a combo class, the teacher follows the 1st grade curriculum with the 1st graders and the 2nd grade curriculum with the 2nd graders, so it isn't like DD is being expected to be above-average or to be doing 2nd-grade work.

She's complained the past few days about not liking school. And this morning en route to school we were talking about it.She said that she doesn't like school because she "doesn't like to do hard stuff." I told her that's how we learn-things start out hard and then the more we do them, the easier it gets. I explained to her that she used to think writing her letters was hard. Now does she? No. She used to think coloring inside the lines was hard. Now does she? No. I told her even when not in school, you're always learning and "doing hard things"-even you and I at our jobs encounter things that are hard and we have to learn... I think she honestly just gives up too easily.

We hear "I can't." and "I don't know how." and "It's too hard." ALL the time at home... for simple things like brushing teeth, dressing herself, etc. She just gives up SO easily, and it is so incredibly frustrating!

Anyone have any tips/ideas for motivating her or helping her to embrace and enjoy challenges? 

shouldbworkin

Oh yeah, I have one of those too.  I try to point out to him all of the cool things he can do once he learns to in school, like reading a book to himself, writing a letter to someone, etc. (he's only in KG).  That seems to motivate him.  So, maybe find a book series that interests here or science projects to work on at home that will be easier for her to do when she learns more about it in school.  I also like to point out to DS that he will have free time in class to read books, play with games, etc. if he finishes his work quickly.  For things like getting dressed, brushing teeth, etc. we sometimes make it a game or I will set a timer.  Sometimes I just ask him if he thinks he can do it and joke with him that I bet he can't do it in X amount of time.  He looooves to prove me wrong these days.  lol!

Jelliebean1982

I'm a 3rd grade teacher who lurks on the board, although my own child is not school-aged yet.  I find that most kids who say, "I can't" are really just afraid of failure.  They may have a high desire to please their parents or teacher, and are completely capable of whatever you are asking them to do. But their fear of not being perfect prevents them from trying. 

 

One thing I try to do for the students like this in my classroom is to remove the pressure of success.  Instead of praising the achievement, I praise the effort involved in trying.  When they say, "I can't", I remind them that I don't expect perfection, I just expect that they'll try their best. 

 

Being more specific about praise helps too.  Instead of lavishing on praise for winning a game or getting an A on a test, I'll say things like, "I bet being cooperative with your teammates really helped you in your dodgeball game," or, "You must have practiced really hard for that test."  

 

I hope this helps somewhat and your daughter starts to enjoy school.  It's supposed to be fun!