Really annoyed...should i say something?

mstopka

I may or may not be traveling for work for DD's first halloween. I won't know until the last minute and I hate that I might miss it. Well, my mother wants to fly in to be here for halloween regardless if I am here or not. That's fine, but she keeps emailing me trying to figure out her itinerary and how she is going to get to and from the airport, blah, blah, blah. The last email she sent me she was saying how she really needs my help in figuring this out and how bad she wants to be here for DD's halloween. I'm just annoyed because it's all about her and it's like she doesn't even realize that it may be bothering me that I might not be there as well. Some sensitivity would just be nice. I feel like telling her that, should I? Then again, I don't want to make her feel bad for wanting to visit her grandchild. Please help give me some perspective on this.

mattandbekah

Id let it go, maybe try to plan as if you will be there but have a solid back up plan for her if you cant. I cant imagine how much it must suck to know you might miss it, but your mom isnt deliberately being mean.  she sounds excited.

MrsC17

I could have written this myself!!  My mom is the same way...in my experience, no matter WHAT I say or do, it becomes about her (even if I'm trying to tell her how her actions are upsetting me).  If you don't think your mom would be awkward about it when she arrives, I say do what you feel.  If this is common and you think your mom would make a big deal out of it when she gets there, I would say just let it go, be as helpful as you can and if it gets to be too much just say "I'm so excited you're coming, I really wish I could help more but I have so much to do getting ready for this possible business trip."  I know it stinks to suck it up sometimes, but if it keeps the peace, it's worth it IMO. 

jojoh1008

Have you told her that it's bothering you?  She's excited to see her grandchild.  Can you really blame her?

You're not sure if you'll be leaving for sure so just go on making plans. Wouldn't you want LO to have a great Halloween whether or not you're there?  Halloween is on a Sunday, so I'm assuming that you'll be leaving the week before...can you get home the day of?

MrsPatterson

I would be annoyed to, even though I know it's because she's excited and not trying to be inconsiderate.  What I'd probably do is try to bring it up as though you're confiding in her how you're feeling.  Let her know that you are really disappointed you might be missing Halloween, and don't say one word about how her excitement is further driving that disappointment home.  Make it entirely about how sad you are that things might work out this way.  She's probably so excited that she hasn't even thought about how you might be feeling, so maybe you letting her know will help her realize and tone it down a bit.