*Kelso*

penelopepink09

Where are you?

melissainabq

She is off sulking in a corner with her fingers in her ears not listening to the really good advice she was given on ML.

penelopepink09

Ah, that's what I was guessing.  There was a TKPS secret that made me think of her.  Something about "less than 20 days away, too late to call it off now".  And I do believe her Wedding Date was Oct 9th... which would make that 18 days away.

Interesting, no?

melissainabq

I wish I understood what she hoped to accomplish with her "I'm back and have my sense of humor intact" post. I don't know if she expected everyone to just overlook or ignore that obvious issues in her life or what.

He told me about the pins they give them that have goals they met, and since he hasn't drank since that night everything happened he's gotten one everytime he goes. Haha. 

This little part to me shows the fact that she's young. What's funny about any of this?

robinsokj

She's acting like an immature nit-wit and I wish she would rethink things for the sake of her LO, but we all know thats not going to happen.

melissainabq

I wish she'd really look at what is being shared there. Sadly several of the posters have been through abuse and know what it's like to think "he's different." She shrugs off not having gone to Al-Anon, and like someone pointed out, it's probably because they'll tell her she's making a huge mistake.

And what kind of family encourages someone to stay with an abuser like that?!

Starfish113

Oh man.... what did I miss? This back to work thing and 4 month wakeful is making me so out of the loop

melissainabq

here's the most recent post from her over there

 

 

buddhagouda

melissainabq:

And what kind of family encourages someone to stay with an abuser like that?!

This is the part I cannot fathom. They cannot possibly actually know the whole story. 

OR (huge assumption and snap judgment on my part here) they are the kind of whackos that buy into the whole "Man as head of house=Man can do whatever he wants to woman" thing. 

purplecrayon

I just read through the ML post.  All I have to say is sometimes it takes a stranger to be the person to give the cold, hard, truth in situations like this.  Family members & friends will just tell their loved one want they want to hear or they won't give their honest opinions until after the fact.  At least that's how it was with me.  After I divorced my mentally abusive ex-H, my friends & family came out of the woodwork telling me they didn't think he was a good guy, wondered why I was with him, couldn't believe how he treated me, etc...  It was a shock to me & I wish they would have said all of this before I married him.  Then again, like Kelso, I'm not sure I would have listened either.

Like PPs have said, I sincerely hope we're wrong.  For her sake & her daughter's.

melissainabq

buddhagouda:

melissainabq:

And what kind of family encourages someone to stay with an abuser like that?!

This is the part I cannot fathom. They cannot possibly actually know the whole story. 

OR (huge assumption and snap judgment on my part here) they are the kind of whackos that buy into the whole "Man as head of house=Man can do whatever he wants to woman" thing. 

 

For some reason, I picture her family as looking/acting like Butch and April from Teen Mom. I see them being like "who cares if he's an alcoholic? He's the man and the father. What difference does it make if that's not absolutely the most awful, dangerous place for your child?"

 

And BTW Buddha, Ethan is so cute! 

Starfish113

melissainabq:

here's the most recent post from her over there

 

 

Wow. I don't even know what to say....

penelopepink09

Starfish113:

melissainabq:

here's the most recent post from her over there

 

 

Wow. I don't even know what to say....

Ditto.  I worry for her LO. 

I was one of those girls who thought that I'd never get caught up in an abusive relationship.  My daughters bio-dad was physically, emotionally, and mentally abusive towards me.  He choked me until I nearly passed out when I was 8 months pregnant.  Punched me in the face so hard that half my face was black and blue (on several occasions).  He also did this in front of my daughter until she was about 4 months old and I finally was able to get out.  What makes her think she's exempt from this when her FI has already shown her that he can be scary and abusive?

buddhagouda

melissainabq:

buddhagouda:

melissainabq:

And what kind of family encourages someone to stay with an abuser like that?!

This is the part I cannot fathom. They cannot possibly actually know the whole story. 

OR (huge assumption and snap judgment on my part here) they are the kind of whackos that buy into the whole "Man as head of house=Man can do whatever he wants to woman" thing. 

 

For some reason, I picture her family as looking/acting like Butch and April from Teen Mom. I see them being like "who cares if he's an alcoholic? He's the man and the father. What difference does it make if that's not absolutely the most awful, dangerous place for your child?"

 

And BTW Buddha, Ethan is so cute! 

Awww...thanks. We think he's pretty awesome. 

And yeah, I can see that being the case. It's sad, really. Sometimes, the best thing for a child is not being with both parents. I mean, I don't know the guy. It may have been a one time thing, and with AA and counseling it may turn out to be great. I just wish she would give it a year to see and not rush into a wedding now just because. 

melissainabq

penelopepink09:

What makes her think she's exempt from this when her FI has already shown her that he can be scary and abusive?

Because she is too young to see that as a sign of things to come instead of a one-time happening.