can I just vent for a sec?

Shelley-Bean

First of all, let me just say I realize now why I am always the one that does the home improvement in the house (tiling, painting, repair, etc).  I never really thought much of it because I could always physically do it.   

I don't really know what is going through DH's head right now!  I'm now 30 weeks, and the nursery is nowhere near ready.  Starting at about 16 weeks, I've been trying to get DH to help with the nursery.  "We have time" he said.  I told him it would be great to get it done before my shower at 28 weeks, so we have somewhere to put the gifts.  Well, 28 weeks arrive and NOTHING IS DONE.  I can't move the furniture myself, and now I can't even help him move furniture because I'm huge.  I've set up numerous days that he has off that my brother also has off and nothing has happened.  We have a small house, and all the baby gifts are sitting in our sunroom so you see it every time anyone walks in the house.  I'm trying to tell him the realization that we could have two babies as soon as 4-6 weeks, and definitely by 8 weeks.  He had a day off today and he was telling me on Tuesday he was going to be too tired to do anything on his day off Sunday. 

At this point, I'm starting to feel the pressure.  We have to rearrange the furniture (moving some into the basment), fix the bureau, empty the closet, paint the room, and then set up the cribs and the rest of the nursery.  I'm ready to call a moving company to see if they can move the furniture out of the room and having them come out when DH is at work. 

Anyone else in this situation?  I'm now out of work, and it's going to drive me crazy to see the nursery/house like this day in and day out. 

sugardrive

Is he in denial?!?!    Luckily for us, my parents helped out a ton.  Is there anyone else you know, either friends or family, that you can enlist to help.  Maybe once DH sees them helping, he'll pitch in?  I hope he gets it together soon....the babies are right around the corner.    Try not to stress...it doesn't help, and the babies won't know/care if their nursery is perfect, you know?

janabelle3

Girl, I feel your stress!  There is so much to get done before the babies come and at times for me it can be really overwhelming. As I can see it is for you too!    My husband has painted the room and assembled the new dresser, but I keep telling him that I want to get everything set up in there and arranged so I can start doing some decorating and making it feel like a finished baby room. You just never know with having multiples, if you will go into preterm labor,etc. I just feel like I want to get everything done way in advance. Way way in advance-haha!   I would be so annoyed if I were you! I totally empathize. Not saying you should use the "poor me" factor, but most days for me, my husband makes me dinner, does the errands, I am just too tired and I don't want to exert myself because everyone tells me I should rest more. He's been really great. Tell your hubby, (even a bit of woe is me crying works too-haha) that at this point in time, you need to relax and rest your body, being pregnant is not easy! That it would make you so happy and calm to see that baby room finished so you can get in there and do what you need to do. He needs to get in there and get to work....no more excuses!  Hugs to ya- try to not to overstress.

juliannat

My DH is like yours - not handy at ALL - but helpful as best he can when push comes to shove. I know if I was seriously talking about someone else coming in to help do stuff that he's wholly capable, that would push him into action as he doesn't want to seem less "manly"...kwim? Dumb but true.

So could you tell him one day that you have a list of movers to call and see if that makes him budge?

Good luck - I bet he's also a bit in denial of what's to come!

janjag

Oh wow, he has no idea what tired is.  He's going to wish for the days when he had to work on the nursery. 

Maybe he's having some kind of mental block about the whole parent of twins thing.  Whatever the case if he didn't do it soon, I'd probably set up a handyman to come do what needs doing (maybe with help from your brother), and inform DH.  But I would do this without a fight.  No point getting into a whole thing over it. 

MaygenDL0ve

You sound like me, hehe  I've tried writing it on a to-do list, and that didn't work.  I've noticed that when I get up and do things I CAN do, like vacuum, he gets up and helps w/ the stuff I asked him to do.  While he's at it, if I mention something he's forgotten, like move the dresser to make room for the pack n play, for example, it gets done.  

Another thing I've learned REALLLLLY works, is making deals.  "I'll give you a massage if you go out and re-stock the fridge"  

 Good luck! 

chickaboo1974

My DH was getting our nursery ready at 20 weeks.  He said that he wanted to get it done while I was still up to doing what I wanted done in it.  So our nursery is basically done- but I still feel it needs some thing for the walls and a bookshelf.

leslie13510

Hire someone to do it.  Maybe ask him one more time if he's ready to get it done yet, or even tell him you'd things started by X date (next weekend, whatever).  If they're not started by then, hire someone to come do it.  Don't even ask him, just get someone in there.  Or if you don't feel comfortable not telling him, just inform him right now that if he hasn't gotten his bum in gear by X date, you will be hiring someone, no excuses.  Denial or not, he's had more than enough time to get shiit done, and you're now in the 11th hour with nothing set up.  I'd be so mad.  I mean, I get procrastinating a little bit because of being in denial of the time frame, but you've been on him about this for over 3 MONTHS now.  You've got more patience than I do. 

Good luck!

Rangergal9

Just to make you feel better.. I am 32 weeks and we have nothing done yet!  We haven't even emptied the room yet!  But we had to wait for BIL/SIL to move out because we are converting our two family house to a one family and just now are starting the renovations!  Nothing like waiting till the last minute!

Kindle

I was in your boat 2 weeks ago and I finally hit a breaking point.  Right or wrong I just blew up and stopped being nice about it.  My blow up was not pretty but I did tell him that it looked like he was going to do EVERYTHING because he was waiting until I was beyond being able to help.  That kicked him into gear and in two weeks have paint, cribs and a dresser done. 

I guess I am a brave woman today I just asked him what got him into gear.  He said he got tired of hearing me "raise hell" about it not being done.  I guess I was just too nice up until 28 weeks. 

 

cocojack10

I'm not sure if I was the one that wrote this post in my sleep last night?!  Haha, we are in the same situation.

Since about wk 18 I had been bugging Dh to start furniture shopping, and he kept postponing it.  We finally ordered it last wk (w/ 2 wk delivery - perfect), but ended up cancelling the order w/ AMEX due to the TERRIBLE customer service we received (being screamed at by the owner for no good reason is unacceptable).  Now, we have no furniture whatsoever for the boys... and the majority of the stores down here have a delivery delay.  : (

Dh finally started painting the room last night, and we are scheduled to put up the panelling this week.  And since he painted, the room is UP SIDE DOWN, which is driving me nuts!  I had the closet semi-organized and now it is on the bed in the room.

Speaking of bed, that room still has the guest bedroom set, which I've been trying to sell w/ no luck. I  keep telling DH to donate it to a church so they can provide to a family in need, but he refuses.  And unless that room is completely empty with at least a dresser in there, I can't wash their clothes as I don't want to risk it getting dirty somehow.  : (

So yes, we are in similar situations... you are not alone.  Let's hope these dads get their acts together before babies arrive!