When you get your BFP...

jinx75

and all of you will I know it....when will you tell your family and friends?  Coworkers etc?

With DD I told everyone and anyone who would listen and we were only 2 wks along.  I had a healthy pregnancy and delivery and so I didn't think anything of telling everyone and the mailman when we got our 2nd BFP on 8/17/10.  Unfortunately we m/c early last week and now I am faced with telling everyone and the mailman OVER AND OVER again that we m/c,  I don't want to go through that EVER again so I am keeping my mouth shut next time, probably until the contractions start.

 What about you?

Dawneecakes

We only told our immediate families last time  and a few close friends.  Next time I will tell only DH and try to wait until at least 12 weeks to tell everyone else.

emeraudecephiro

I will probably tell immediate family and very close friends at first. Everyone else after 12 weeks and seeing a heartbeat at least once (I never did with my 12w5d loss)

damabo80

I'll tell my family and close friends right away (since they've been privy to our IF and loss journey anyways).

I won't make an announcement on FB, just because I know that stings to read if anyone is dealing with IF or loss. Not to mention, I just find it kinda tacky to be a FB attention wh0re. I may start a PG blog, where if anyone is interested in the contents of my ute, they can look at it, but I don't want to force feed my PG down their throats when they look at their FB news feed.

For other people, if it comes up, it comes up. If it doesn't it doesn't. When i was about 10 weeks along, we had a window guy come to give us quotes. He was saying that they neighborhood we lived in was great for kids, good school district, did we have any children, blah blah. I told him that we were expecting. And would probably do the same thing again. I don't think it's some huge secret.

tlcW0714

I think I will probably tell immedietely.  I guess I feel like if I'm not safe in the 40th week, I'm not really safe ever.  Plus, I'd appreciate all the prayers and positive thoughts sent our way for as long as possible. 

TrickyLittleMinx

We never told anyone... Well i told all these ladies - we just told them about our losses.. after the fact

millejj1

We will likely tell our families as soon as we get the nerve to do it, and everyone else sometime in the second trimester when showing starts. I really really don't want to have to untell if I can help it.

lorlei13

emeraudecephiro:

I will probably tell immediate family and very close friends at first. Everyone else after 12 weeks and seeing a heartbeat at least once (I never did with my 12w5d loss)

This.  Although I won't be telling my father until 12 weeks.  He said he didn't want to know until then because he didn't want to get his hopes up again.

ikissedthecook

damabo80:

I'll tell my family and close friends right away (since they've been privy to our IF and loss journey anyways).

I won't make an announcement on FB, just because I know that stings to read if anyone is dealing with IF or loss. Not to mention, I just find it kinda tacky to be a FB attention wh0re. I may start a PG blog, where if anyone is interested in the contents of my ute, they can look at it, but I don't want to force feed my PG down their throats when they look at their FB news feed.

For other people, if it comes up, it comes up. If it doesn't it doesn't. When i was about 10 weeks along, we had a window guy come to give us quotes. He was saying that they neighborhood we lived in was great for kids, good school district, did we have any children, blah blah. I told him that we were expecting. And would probably do the same thing again. I don't think it's some huge secret.

 This exactly.

shouldbworkin

With the first three we didn't tell anyone until after the 1st u/s.  The 3rd PG was a m/c and it actually caused me more harm to not have anyone know what I was going through.  I'm sure I could have called my parents and told them I was having a m/c, but I just couldn't.  So, the 4th time we told those close to us right away and it was nice to have them there to support us with the next loss. 

Gummybear

Eh, my loss was later and for no good reason, so there is no safe time for me. Not sure what I will do. But I am not a FB announcer or a ZOMG pink and blue cupcakes in the breakroom type of person anyway, so people who don't see me in person will know when I post family pictures on FB and there is a new baby in the photo.

margaretedrumm

My husband was like the town cryer so he told everyone (coworkers, friends, family) I was really tentative from telling ppl (including family and friends) but he was just so excited (I was too, just knew the stats on mc). So when we mc, it sucked royally to have to repeatedly tell ppl that we mc.  This time around, we're going to keep our mouths shut and not tell anyone until we're in our 2nd trimester.  We mc at 10 wks and we never got to see the hb or anything so I think we'll wait until at least maybe 15 wks.  We'll see, who knows, we might very well end up shouting it from the rooftops (but I'm a nervous Nelly so most likely not). 

Rawr08

The first time I didn't want anyone to know until 12 weeks, because I knew what was going to happen.  Well, that didn't work out, and everyone knew by the weekend we found out.  I left it up to my parents to spread the news.  If/when I get another BFP I will try my hardest to wait.  However, I would most def tell DH, maybe our parents - and that is about it - unless they need to know (ie: work for sick time etc...).  I am really scared.

NicoleE37

We will probably tell our closest friends that were so supportive last time. But I would like to wait until at least the 2nd tri to tell anyone else. Then we will tell immediate family. Everyone else can wait until I start to show. I will tell work when I have to, but no sooner. DH wants to tell family right away, but I just don't think I can. It might change when we find out again though you never know.

a&b=him&me

first: Holy CRAP TB is moving slow for me. Second: I really don't know. V-day means nothing to me now. I will more than likely tell family and really, really close friends once I know that all is healthy (between 14-16weeks). Work will find out once I start showing (I will have all appointments early in the morning so I dont have to use my break. After that when Im showing, if someone asks then I will tell them. No FB announcements. Just private albums for family members on the other side of seas and states to see pictures.

firefightersgal

I'm not sure.  I'm torn between shouting it from the roof tops and keepnig it to myself.

Knowing me, I'll probably broadcast the info because I'll be so excited.  That, and I was very thankful for the support I had during my m/c.

la*bella*vita

We didnt tell anyone we were pg, thankfully the only ppl who know about our loss is our parents. So with my next BFP I will do the same.

Not until I am 12wks and have a healthy sono with pics to prove it!

magpiebride61210

tlcW0714:

I think I will probably tell immedietely.  I guess I feel like if I'm not safe in the 40th week, I'm not really safe ever.  Plus, I'd appreciate all the prayers and positive thoughts sent our way for as long as possible. 

 

 

I like the idea of this. I really do. After the m/c I ended up telling friends and co-workers about the whole thing anyway to explain my absence or mood. I honestly haven't decided what we're going to do. FB won't find out until I start to show, that i know for sure.

e_uecker

I told immediate family and my coworkers who are also my close friends. We are a small tight knit group. I planned to tell everyone else after the 1st tri. This time I will do the same, but probably wait till about 15 weeks.

Mrs.Leah.Maria

I'm still undecided on this, especially since I have my POAS date. If I share that I'm going to POAS on my blog, then I feel like I have to share the results . . . If I share on my blog, then I have to start telling people IRL.

erinlovesdavid

We didn't tell anyone until after our loss last time, and that was very difficult for me.  Delivering news of our m/c was like a 1-2 punch that knocked people out.  They had to process a lot of information all at once, and it made for some very difficult and awkward conversations.  It just didn't seem fair (and it made me very uncomfortable) to totally rock people like that. 

Next time, we plan to share our good news right away with anyone who we would want to know if we had another m/c.  We will need all the prayers and support we can get from the beginning.  Everyone else can wait until after we see/hear a healthy heartbeat.

ColleenS629

I only told one person besides DH. I told other people after we lost the baby because I needed support. Next time, we will probably tell my mom and sister and maybe a few friends. I can't tell my dad because he'll tell my grandma and then whole world will know. We'll probably tell our families around 12 weeks, but definitely not before seeing the heartbeat.

MrsGo4Hockeychick

we had told EVERYONE this time. We were (or so we thought), in the "safe" 2nd tri. 

I won't tell anyone but extremely close friends/family until probably after the anatomy scan comes back as healthy.  

megstarwsu

We will try not to tell anyone until second tri.  We waited that long with DD and it worked out well.  We didn't tell very many people the last time.  Just a few of my close friends at work since I couldn't do x-rays and things like that (I had a different job for the first tri with DD, so this wasn't an issue).  It's hard though when people flat out ask you if you are pregnant.  I feel bad lying, but we weren't ready to tell and m/c was the reason why I didn't want a bunch of people to know.  Didn't want to have to tell many people about the m/c.

kathymarie

With our pregnancy, we told our parents, grandparents, siblings, and about 6 friends. It wasn't that difficult to tell them about the m/c. I texted my sister and she told my family. He emailed his family. Neither of us were ready to say it aloud, which is why we did it in writing. 

We were going to share the news with everybody else when we were "safe" and out of 1st tri. However, now that I've seen some of your stories, I realize that doesn't mean jackshit.

We'll tell the same people and I think I care less who finds out beyond that. People knowing isn't going to cause a m/c and once you have a loss, word spreads like wildfire.  

 

Ryan&Kristin062009

I don't want to tell anyone until the 2nd tri and we've had our 12wk ultrasound and everything looks great. We may run into a problem though if we get pregnant within the first two cycles, as I'd find out right before Thanksgiving for the first, and right around Christmas/Before New Years for the 2nd.... But we shall see!

jolieandscott

I told everyone and their dog last time, and that had it's pros and cons.

On one hand, when I m/c'd I had tons of support. But on the other hand, I had to do lots of untelling. That was so hard.

We will probably tell our immediate family, and then I imagine I will have to tell a co-worker or two, seeing how I can't leave my class unsupervised. People would be wondering if I'm really sick or on drugs or something when I had them watch my kiddos while I went to the rr 5000 times. And, God forbid, if something goes wrong again, I want people to know I'm not just flaking out at work.

mandy6418

Keeping it quiet until after 12 weeks.

danie330

I'm pretty sure that we'll tell the same way we did this time around.  We told our parents, siblings and each told our best friend the day we got our 1st BFP. 

My question mark is if I will tell the handful of co-workers who know about our loss and all of the testing that will *hopefully* lead up to our next BFP.

Other than that, I will take it on a day by day basis after we hit the 2nd Tri mark. 

JayandTay09

Hmm...We MAY tell our very immediate family early on - maybe around 7-8weeks...Everyone else - when I can no longer hide it...Given our track record it could be a long time before we reach this point...

rock-elle

I'm waiting until 1st tri over with or maybe even 20 weeks for FB but fam and very close friends and coworkers pretty soon (I can't work in certain areas if I am KU so they kinda have to know!) 

kmount

All I can think when answering is, I just want to be pregnant again.  I don't even care about the rest.  Ugh.

Laurakat81

I think I'll tell everyone. Well maybe not the mailman. I won't make an "announcment" at work but if word gets out I won't care. It will definitely be on my blog within 24 hours so if that isn't telling everyone then I don't know what is!

For me, I only told family and few close friends with our first. We lost her anyways and it didn't make it any easier to untell. But at least I had their support. With our second, we told family and friends again even earlier than the first time (at only 3w3d) and really asked for support and prayers. We made it more public after we saw a good heartbeat. But once again we still lost her. I simply posted the news on facebook so that I wouldn't have to deal with repeating it a million times. It felt "good' to tell the story a handful of times to the people I cared the most about, it was therapy almost but after they were told I FB'd it and didn't care. I ended up overwhelmed with the amount of support and prayers I got from people I'm not that close to.

So this time I think I'll do it the exact same way. I'm just praying I don't end up sounding like a broken record, "I'm pregnant. I'm not pregnant. I'm pregnant! I'm not pregnant! I'm pregnant! I'm not!"

asltrouble94

I will only tell my DH.  I know my coworkers will find out anyway because my OB doc is in my office (So news travels very fast).  No one else though at least until the 2nd tri and after we hear the hb - we never got to hear it either. 

tctibbe

We told everyone by week 9 - we had seen the h/b twice by this point.  Next time I'm not sure what we will do.  I'm good with family and close friends knowing right away.  Everyone else will have to wait until I look KU.

Lorange-8

I'm kind of a big girl so DH and I have joked around that we aren't going to tell anyone til I go into labor.

But really going to wait until 2nd tri. The first two we told brothers/sisters/parents right after the test! but we are going to hold out until 2nd tri. and even then I still don't feel safe. It broke my dad's heart both times, he cried.

jerriesgirl

We only told our parents and bosses around 8w.  We told everyone else at 12w.  I plan on doing the same.

ETA:  There will be no FB announcements this time.