WTH is wrong with me?

firefightersgal

I'm obviously in a major funk and need someone to kick my butt.  A couple we know (I assume, I don't know details) just adopted.  The wife wasn't able to have kids.  They lost a baby a month after we lost ours.  Theirs was through a surrogacy.  Anyway, they haven't made an official announcement, but I'm putting the pieces together to assume that they have or are in the process of adopting a baby.

When I realized that, I felt ill, just like I do when I find out about pregnancies.  WTH is wrong with me?!?

Gummybear

Aw I commiserate. I have thoughts like that too in inappropriate situations and I disgust myself. And then I wonder if I am a horrible person and karma is why I can't get a stickey baby.

RunSchwartzRun

((hugs))  It may not be nice, but I think it is normal. I have definitely gone there too.

Here is my confession: I stalk the adoption boards every day and get jealous of those ladies.  They often have been through so much more than I can even fathom...and yet, I wish I was them sometimes.

firefightersgal

I think the reason I feel this way is because I'm jealous that they can afford (although I don't know how) to adopt.  I'd adopt a newborn in a heartbeat--if I could afford it.

Karen1998

I think it's completely normal to feel that way.  Hugs. 

RunSchwartzRun

firefightersgal:

I think the reason I feel this way is because I'm jealous that they can afford (although I don't know how) to adopt.  I'd adopt a newborn in a heartbeat--if I could afford it.

I can't "ditto" this enough.  I am in exactly the same situation.

Can I ask you something?  Is DDs upcoming birthday bothering you?  DSs is Sunday and it is killing me for some reason.

firefightersgal

My DD's upcoming birthday isn't bother me, thus far.  What is bothering me more is the anniversary of my m/c and D&C--which also happen to be on my birthday.  (Just 3 days after my DD's birthday).

I already consider my DD to be 4 years old, so I don't think this milestone is going to bother me as much as others have.

RunSchwartzRun

Thanks for answering.  I'm sorry that you are getting so close to the anniversary.  That must be really hard.  ((hugs))

itsmegin

I know how you feel. I was at a board meeting for a club I'm in, and the host had pics of her ultrasound around and I was so bitter and jealous, I couldn't even look at them or her belly, she is due a few weeks before I was. I feel guilty though, because I told her about my miscarriage, at which point she told me she had 3 prior to becoming pregnant. So I should be nothing but happy for her since she is pregnant after 3 losses. I mean, I only had one, who am I to be bitter?

You can't help how you feel though. You can only control how you act.

damabo80

For me, the adoption don't bother me as much as the PG announcements.

I think because I know that to get the the adoption point, it takes a lot (time, effort, sadness (oftentimes), and money.)

Rather, I think I look at the adoption people as the holy grail. I just want to shake them and shout "Tell me everything you know!"

1stcomeslove2

Nothing is wrong with you. You can not help how you feel and I think it is completely normal. I realized the other day that I don't hate pregnant women -I hate the situation or circumstances. You are a grieving mother and feeling this way does not make you a bad person

I hope that if they are good friends they are respectful of you and your DH!