ladies who are having boys.

skoogirl

honey740:

miliamp:

Yet, no one seems to think female circumcision is an acceptable practice? I don't really understand this, and find it ever so hypocritical.   We're both agreed that we won't circumcise a son, for the simple reason that it is cosmetic, and more and more americans aren't doing it. So the lockerroom adages that we grew up with are becoming more out dated.  My DH is, and he actually wishes he could've had a choice in the matter, as it is his body.  I've had grown friends who have had the procedure done, but the pain was worth having a reason to do it, vs never being given a choice.

I wouldn't consider cutting off any part of my child's natural body, so why would I give into social pressures to deform what god gave him/her?

Female and male circumcision are 2 completely different things and done for diff reasons. Female circumcision is done so the female is unable to derive any sexual arousal from clitoral stimulation. The idea is to prevent females from having sex for any other reason but to procreate. In fact many studies say that sexual satisfaction is increased in circumcised men.  

I studied human rights in college and did a big research project on this particular issue.

Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) is very different from Female Circumcision.  It is not always true that it is always done to prevent females from enjoying sex.  In several cultures it is very minimally invasive and is more a right of passage.  In very few cultures it's significantly worse and prevents women from even having sex without having an additional procedure done (FGM).

Being that we often circumcise males in our society we are often seen by some cultures as hypocritical for our views on female circumcision.

starsmaycollide

firsttimemama:

No, we won't be circ'ing.  Rates are going way down every where, so the 'he will be made fun of in the locker room' arguement just doesn't hold true anymore.  Even if it did, I would not make this kind of decision for my son based on what other may or may not think.

Just like I would never consider altering any part of Neriah for cosmetic reasons.  Why would that opinion change just because I'm having a boy?

This is partially what bothers me so much about the arguments people have for doing it. The locker room thing about  how he'll "get made fun of" is not going to be valid when close to half of American babies are not being circumcised right now.  Our sons are not going to be growing up with the same exact norms our husbands did.

And even if they were, I fail to see the logic in that sort of reason. What do other people have to do with my son's anatomy? I don't care what other people think about what I choose for his health. 

Good grief, boys will get made fun of for all sorts of things, there is no way to predict that or prevent it-even though I doubt it would matter in this case. And if some girl won't date him one day because he's not circumcised and she thinks it's 'gross' or 'weird looking', I would think she's a complete idiot who doesn't deserve him. Am I supposed to get him the surgery to spare the possibility that some girl MIGHT do that in 18 years?

I live in a very conservative Southern state, and when I learned a friend in HS wasn't circumcised, I was surprised, because it wasn't the norm-but no one (male or female) was horrified about it, and he didn't suffer because of it at all. 

honey740

skoogirl:

honey740:

miliamp:

Yet, no one seems to think female circumcision is an acceptable practice? I don't really understand this, and find it ever so hypocritical.   We're both agreed that we won't circumcise a son, for the simple reason that it is cosmetic, and more and more americans aren't doing it. So the lockerroom adages that we grew up with are becoming more out dated.  My DH is, and he actually wishes he could've had a choice in the matter, as it is his body.  I've had grown friends who have had the procedure done, but the pain was worth having a reason to do it, vs never being given a choice.

I wouldn't consider cutting off any part of my child's natural body, so why would I give into social pressures to deform what god gave him/her?

Female and male circumcision are 2 completely different things and done for diff reasons. Female circumcision is done so the female is unable to derive any sexual arousal from clitoral stimulation. The idea is to prevent females from having sex for any other reason but to procreate. In fact many studies say that sexual satisfaction is increased in circumcised men.  

I studied human rights in college and did a big research project on this particular issue.

Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) is very different from Female Circumcision.  It is not always true that it is always done to prevent females from enjoying sex.  In several cultures it is very minimally invasive and is more a right of passage.  In very few cultures it's significantly worse and prevents women from even having sex without having an additional procedure done (FGM).

Being that we often circumcise males in our society we are often seen by some cultures as hypocritical for our views on female circumcision.

Quoted from a journal article: There are three basic types of genital excision, although practices vary widely. In the first type, clitoridectomy, part or all of the clitoris is amputated, while in the second (often referred to as excision), both the clitoris and the labia minora are removed. Infibulation, the third type, is the most severe: After excision of the clitoris and the labia minora, the labia majora are cut or scraped away to create raw surfaces, which are held in contact until they heal, either by stitching the edges of the wound or by tying the legs together. As the wounds heal, scar tissue joins the labia and covers the urethra and most of the vaginal orifice, leaving an opening that may be as small as a matchstick for the passage of urine and menstrual blood.⁹

The overall proportion of women who have undergone each type of circumcision is not known, although clitoridectomy appears to be by far the most common procedure. It is estimated that about 15% of all circumcised women have been infibulated, although an estimated 80-90% of all circumcisions in Djibouti, Somalia and the Sudan are of thistype.^10"

IMO any type of clitoral amputation equals diminishing the ability for sexual arousal in my view.  

mbh10220

I'm not having a boy but I wanted to put in my two cents:

If we were having a boy we had agreed that he would not be circ'd.  DH is not, and personally I do not understand what the fuss is about.  I've "dealt with" circ'd and uncirc'd men and while they were different I didn't see anything odd with either one.  Seriously its just a little bit more skin.  I don't think its such a big deal.  Personally I prefer the uncirc'd penises...which is a good thing for DH.  LOL 

Good luck with your decision- and know that whatever one you make is the right one for you and your family so try not to stress out about it too much.  =]

skoogirl

honey740:

skoogirl:

honey740:

miliamp:

Yet, no one seems to think female circumcision is an acceptable practice? I don't really understand this, and find it ever so hypocritical.   We're both agreed that we won't circumcise a son, for the simple reason that it is cosmetic, and more and more americans aren't doing it. So the lockerroom adages that we grew up with are becoming more out dated.  My DH is, and he actually wishes he could've had a choice in the matter, as it is his body.  I've had grown friends who have had the procedure done, but the pain was worth having a reason to do it, vs never being given a choice.

I wouldn't consider cutting off any part of my child's natural body, so why would I give into social pressures to deform what god gave him/her?

Female and male circumcision are 2 completely different things and done for diff reasons. Female circumcision is done so the female is unable to derive any sexual arousal from clitoral stimulation. The idea is to prevent females from having sex for any other reason but to procreate. In fact many studies say that sexual satisfaction is increased in circumcised men.  

I studied human rights in college and did a big research project on this particular issue.

Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) is very different from Female Circumcision.  It is not always true that it is always done to prevent females from enjoying sex.  In several cultures it is very minimally invasive and is more a right of passage.  In very few cultures it's significantly worse and prevents women from even having sex without having an additional procedure done (FGM).

Being that we often circumcise males in our society we are often seen by some cultures as hypocritical for our views on female circumcision.

Quoted from a journal article: There are three basic types of genital excision, although practices vary widely. In the first type, clitoridectomy, part or all of the clitoris is amputated, while in the second (often referred to as excision), both the clitoris and the labia minora are removed. Infibulation, the third type, is the most severe: After excision of the clitoris and the labia minora, the labia majora are cut or scraped away to create raw surfaces, which are held in contact until they heal, either by stitching the edges of the wound or by tying the legs together. As the wounds heal, scar tissue joins the labia and covers the urethra and most of the vaginal orifice, leaving an opening that may be as small as a matchstick for the passage of urine and menstrual blood.⁹

The overall proportion of women who have undergone each type of circumcision is not known, although clitoridectomy appears to be by far the most common procedure. It is estimated that about 15% of all circumcised women have been infibulated, although an estimated 80-90% of all circumcisions in Djibouti, Somalia and the Sudan are of thistype.^10"

IMO any type of clitoral amputation equals diminishing the ability for sexual arousal in my view.  

But there are women who have had it performed that disagree with you.

NoemiJ

I'm on the fence on this as well. I understand that it's more hygienic. I've asked DH to do the research and decide since he will be teaching LO how to take care of his privates when he's older. My DH is not circumcized, so having them "match" is not even a consideration for us.

tfarabians

My FIL had to have it done last year at 59 years old because of repeat infections, let me tell you the recovery time is MUCH longer and MUCH more painful at that age then a quick procedure when a couple days old.

We did it with ds and will do it with our 2nd. 

SBear12

We're not planning to. I've done a lot of research, and feel very strongly that for us, the pros of circ-ing don't outweigh the cons. If our son chooses to have the procedure done as an adult, I'd be completely supportive, but I'm not going to make that choice for him as an infant.

 

ETA -- As for the locker room argument, both of my brothers (now in their 20s) are un-circed (my mom was very progressive, for the 80s ), and neither of them ever had any trouble. Even living in an area where it was really uncommon. They were both among the most popular kids in our school, and had no trouble in the girl dept. So I don't think that argument holds much weight.

krista613

if our baby had been a boy we wouldn't have circumcised... DH was born in russia in the early 80s and since hes not jewish. no circumcision. and honestly when he is "hard" it looks the same as a circ'd penis. i dont find any issue with it. and since circumcision isnt common where he's from they all properly take care of themselves and all that.

no one on my side of the family is circ'd either, because it's not common in greece either.

 and i think thats why you hear a lot about problems out here because parents dont circ the son of a man who is circ'd and the dad is like wtf i dont know how to teach him to keep his junk clean!

NoemiJ

starsmaycollide:

firsttimemama:

No, we won't be circ'ing.  Rates are going way down every where, so the 'he will be made fun of in the locker room' arguement just doesn't hold true anymore.  Even if it did, I would not make this kind of decision for my son based on what other may or may not think.

Just like I would never consider altering any part of Neriah for cosmetic reasons.  Why would that opinion change just because I'm having a boy?

This is partially what bothers me so much about the arguments people have for doing it. The locker room thing about  how he'll "get made fun of" is not going to be valid when close to half of American babies are not being circumcised right now.  Our sons are not going to be growing up with the same exact norms our husbands did.

And even if they were, I fail to see the logic in that sort of reason. What do other people have to do with my son's anatomy? I don't care what other people think about what I choose for his health. 

Good grief, boys will get made fun of for all sorts of things, there is no way to predict that or prevent it-even though I doubt it would matter in this case. And if some girl won't date him one day because he's not circumcised and she thinks it's 'gross' or 'weird looking', I would think she's a complete idiot who doesn't deserve him. Am I supposed to get him the surgery to spare the possibility that some girl MIGHT do that in 18 years?

I live in a very conservative Southern state, and when I learned a friend in HS wasn't circumcised, I was surprised, because it wasn't the norm-but no one (male or female) was horrified about it, and he didn't suffer because of it at all. 

I agree with both of you. I would also include the claim that it's done because of the possibility of infection later in life. Circumcision is not the norm in the rest of the world, so if infections were so high, then more men all over the world would be getting circumcised.

sweetmej

We're definitely not circumcising...for one, my husband is not circ'd and has never had any issue with this aspect of himself - not from a hygiene/infection perspective, nor from an aesthetic one. He takes really good care of himself and will teach our son to do the same. 

I am really surprised that so many people are opting for circumcision; I kind of thought the whole hygiene issue was a thing of the past. And to add to that, I've dated men in the past who were circ'd who said they wished they weren't because it's a lot easier to stimulate an uncirc'd penis (in my experience, this is actually true). 

felishao

mn*plumm:

I used to work in a nursing home and due to many differant factors usually out of the workers control an uncircumcized penis may not get taken care of the way it should 100% of the time and when that happens it is really a nasty situation and I won't go into details. I've seen the same working in a hospital when older gentlemen come in and aren't taking great care of themselves anymore.

That alone was reason enough for me to do be doing it, just to save him any pain and/or infection later in life.

 

We are definitely circumcising as well.  For the above reason as well.  I heard if it's not taken care of very well that there are hygiene reasons.  And I just can't have myself, DH, or my son grossed out about that.

 

calhoun05

lissydee:

And going back to the whole sensitivity regarding sex part.  I know of many women who have slept with both uncirc'd and circ'd men and by far most agree with that there is a clear difference in the degree of sensation, even for women.  The foreskin provides more friction and thus more stimulation.  Oh and a quick google search will show that an aroused, uncirc'd penis looks just like a circ'd one.  Its only in the flaccid state that it looks different. 

LOL, I know I'm late to the game on this, and this is a lot of information, but having dated men who were both circ'ed and uncirced, my sex life was always much, much, much more satisfying with the latter (and yes, my husband falls in the uncirced category).  Could be coincidence, but who knows?

We didn't circ our son, won't be circumcising this one.  You're welcome future DILs!  

ETA:  The sex life thing wasn't the primary reason for not circumcising, just found the post about sex from the woman's point of view interesting, since I hadn't read that before but had definitely had that experience myself.