Question for the ID moms

JosiePosy

Disclaimer: I realize this may possibly be a dumb question, but I'm going to ask anyway.

I have a little, nagging fear that I won't be able to tell my own children apart. I'm wondering if I'll have some magic motherly instinct and will just know who is who, or if I'm going to have to get them tattooed at birth. 

My SILs are ID twins, and MIL told me that she finally had to ask their doctor to find a difference between them when they were infants. The only difference they could find was that one of the girls had a distinct line in her hand that the other didn't have. Of course now that they're adults, we can definitely tell them apart.

Am I being paranoid about nothing? Can you tell your kids apart easily? I keep thinking I'm going to switch babies all the time! This isn't a natural fear that my friends had as first time moms, so nobody other than MIL can relate.

kimarino13

You will be able to tell them apart!  I promise!

erinri02

You will be able to tell them apart.  I promise.  I don't have ID twins but when I would be running errands and I'll call DH to check on the boys, I could always tell him who was crying over the phone.  He could never do it and still can't.

You'll learn your babies inside and out.  Just because they are ID, doesn't mean they will act the same or have the same personalities.  You'll be able to tell a difference.  

JosiePosy

Thanks. I felt like it was a dumb thing to worry about, but DH has the same fears! LOL!

FaeryStarGazer

When my girls were born, they looked nothing alike. We *knew* they were fraternal (two amnions, one giant placenta, didn't ask about fusion). They didn't even look related until they were 3m old. They started to look more alike as they got older, but we chalked it up to being siblings. Finally, after the one billionth person told me my daughters were identical, we did a DNA test. They were 11m old and didn't look at all alike to us.

Turns out.... 15 out of 15 markers and yea. They do look alike. You won't mix them up. They will have their own voice, their own mannerisms, their own cries. You'll see the difference.

Chickandtaco

LOL My hubby just told me last night that if our twins are same sex we should tattoo their foot.  I laughed.  (he was kidding).  I told him I'd paint one of their toe nails just incase!  I HOPE I'm able to tell them apart or that they DO have osmething distict about them.    My SILs are twins, fraternal but as babies and kids they looked exactly the same.  Neither them or their mom can tell them apart now that they look back at pics.  They are 28 now.

Nat1777

You will be able to tell them apart. We kept their hospital bracelets on because we were worried we would mix them up. After a week at home we for sure could tell and snipped the bracelets off.

They definitely look alike and we do accidentally mix them up if we are not really looking at them, but one of my girls has a birthmark in her ear and so far, they have different hair patterns. The also have different facial expressions already. So far I can't tell their cries apart though!

pea-kay

eh, don't worry. you'll figure out tricks. it's not like you need to dress them alike when they're a month old, you know?

and crayola markers work like a treat if you want to write their initials on the bottom of their feet.

redshoegirl

I was TERRIFIED of the same thing lol! But I can absolutely tell them apart, without a moment's hesitation. I'm told they really do look a lot alike (even my husband gets them confused occasionally) but I've never gotten them mixed up. Their features are the same, but their expressions are so different that they really don't look alike to me.

ETA: Oh, and at birth, Will had far more hair than Dash, so that helped me get over the initial panic lol. 

jackieb3858

You will be able to tell. The frustrating thing is no one else will, so you will have to tell them who is in the picture or who they are holding all the time!

trr8203

I had that same fear.  But you'll be able to tell them apart.  When we first brought our girls home from the hospital we painted one toenail on each of their feet with different colors.  I think we only ever used that once (and it was because my mom had mixed them up) but it was nice to have it there in case we needed it.  We only ever put it on once and when it wore off we didn't replace it.  My girls also had very different shaped heads from their positions in utero so that made it easy to tell them apart- at least for us.

Now they're two and I'm not going to say I never mix them up, but all parents do that.  My parents used to call me by my brother's name all the time.  I definitely know who is who, though.  And so will you.

PianoPlayingSarah

Don't worry - you'll be able to tell them apart!

MamaCrystal

It has almost always been EASY for us to tell our girls apart.  They have gone through week-long phases where they've looked a lot alike, but that just meant that we couldn't instantly tell them apart. We never got completely confused though ; )  And we did find a difference between them (our families use this when they can't tell):  Grace has a little wrinkle in the top of her left ear that Mary doesn't have!

mmbench

IRL you will be able to tell them apart.

But for pictures, label them as soon as you get them printed.  Because years later if you're putting them in a scrapbook or whatever, you will have forgotten who was who.

kimarino13

mmbench:

IRL you will be able to tell them apart.

But for pictures, label them as soon as you get them printed.  Because years later if you're putting them in a scrapbook or whatever, you will have forgotten who was who.

This is exactly right!

togo

One of my babies had an IV infiltrate when he was 5 days old so he has a giant scar on his leg. If I'm not sure who is who, I always look for the scar on his leg.

But, it is rare that I have to question it. In pictures 99% of the time I can tell who is who, but the older they get the harder it's becoming. They just have different looks about them, but not everyone can tell. They also have diffent voices and different cries and laughs.

If only one baby is wearing blue,than it's always Alex so that helps with the pictures and my family members know that blue is for Alex. There is an L in his name  and an L in blue, which helps people remember.

JosiePosy

Thanks to everyone for responding! I do feel better about it now. I've watched The Parent Trap one too many times, and I keep thinking about the possibility that they'll get smart and switch on me!

#6

Another trick for pictures is always ALWAYS put one on a certain side if you are taking a posed picture.  That way you can tell family that so and so is always on the right.  It is also easier for you to look back and know.  

And I will admit that I (and my family) had an extremely hard time telling my girls apart for the first 4months.  They had no markers, no differences in face shape, size (weighed the exact same even down to the oz at birth and within an oz for the 1st year) or anything.  My dr swore I would have mommy instinct but truth be told I didnt.

We picked a color for each and dressed them in that color as often as we could.  If their clothes were that color we would paint a toe nail (until they could reach their toes to their mouths) I also left their hospital bracelets on for a week once we got home.  (they were already 6days old when we came home) Then I made bead ankle bracelets with their name on them.  They were only during the day when I could make sure they stayed on.  Worked great and were sooo cute.  

FINALLY at 4months Kay developed a blue vein across her nose and its been our marker ever since.  They at 3yrs old still looked so much alike we would mix them up for half a second.  Now they are really starting to look different and easy to tell them apart.  Yay!  

We do have some pictures that we have no idea who is who because they were candids and too far away to see Kays line or they were taken as tiny babies and didnt put them on the correct side (candid shots)

So, dont feel bad if you cant tell them apart.  We had to do some clever tricks for a while to tell them apart.  From the back if they were running, playing etc there was no way to tell them apart.  If Kays hair wasnt shorter we would still have that problem.   A different hair length has turned out to be the best way to tell them apart!    Thanks to big bro Kay got a whack job of a hair cut in the mid summer.  Poor Kay hates her short hair though.