Is a constant wanting to ring DH's neck normal?!

cocojack10

Good Lord DH has been driving me insane for the past month or so.  He is a very indecisive man... and now it has gotten a lot worse.  It started w/ what furniture to buy... and in order to make a decision, he drew out the different possibilities we can layout the room.  We made the decision this wkend, placed a deposit on the furniture, and now he's wanting to change it!

Then I tell him I want maternity pics and that I really really wanted them.  He was okay w/ the idea.  We even saw some samples at the hospital and he really liked them.  I told him I was scheduling the appt, and wanted to know what days worked best for him... and he started saying it was a waste of $$.  Dude, you didn't give me a bday present this yr... I settled on a couple of things already along the way, and I am getting mat pics, sorry charlie!

Last wk at our first birthing class, he kept making unnecssary comments which were driving me crazy.  He was just acting so immaturely!  I know he's a jokester, and that is his character, but dude, is he going to behave that way the day of the birth?  If so, I need a new coach ASAP!

There are a ton more things but dude, what's the deal!  Anyone else experience the same w/ their DH?!

cookie_queen

My guess is that he's getting nervous and this is how he's dealing with it. Mat. pics being too expensive seems like a pretty clear sign he may be beginning to panic about the reality of the costs of two babies. Furniture stuff could be that he feels he needs to create the perfect nursery because that's what he can control before they're born. Jokes during birthing class sounds like something my husband would do when scared sh*tless!

We've had a few moments similar to these and I try to stop and ask him what's really going on. Usually there is an underlying cause for the crazy behavior. Longish car rides where he's trapped work well for these discussions! 

Good luck!

scorch

That is just how some men deal with becoming a father.  When I was pg with DD he made jokes to everyone that when I went into labor, he was going to drop me off at the hospital and then go to the bar and get drunk.  He never goes to bars and barely drinks.  This time, since we are having two girls. he has been joking that he is gonna find someone at the hospital who wanted a girl and trade them for a boy.  It really pisses me off when he does this but I know how he was with DD when she was born and it was a total 180 from how it was before she was born.

babydontforget

I agree with this analysis. Money might have been behind the nursery furniture thing, too. I know my H hems and haws for AGES before big purchases, analyzing every possible possibility before going for the buy. When you're expecting, there are a lot of big purchases all at once, in the midst of anxiety over decades to come of yet more big purchases. I think this is hard on men. Hell, it was--and is--hard on me, too.

Annoying, I'm sure, but try to be supportive and to look at the bright side. He's clearly very involved if he created various bedroom schematics when shopping for furniture, for example.  

 

cookie_queen:

My guess is that he's getting nervous and this is how he's dealing with it. Mat. pics being too expensive seems like a pretty clear sign he may be beginning to panic about the reality of the costs of two babies. Furniture stuff could be that he feels he needs to create the perfect nursery because that's what he can control before they're born. Jokes during birthing class sounds like something my husband would do when scared sh*tless!

We've had a few moments similar to these and I try to stop and ask him what's really going on. Usually there is an underlying cause for the crazy behavior. Longish car rides where he's trapped work well for these discussions! 

Good luck!

caitdana

My DH is a funny guy too. Last year I had to have an operation done by my gyno to remove a bartholin cyst. My DH was the one who while doing the pre op eval in the office before going down stairs for surgery broke the plastic model vagina. I get frustrated because he doesnt get to come to every u/s (which is every other week, and he doesnt have time off, so I understand) so when he does get to come, it is just a ton of questions that I some of them I wish he would just google before we got there so I wasnt embarrased that he ask some of the things he is concerned about.

Kindle

I have found my DH can be acting "normal" and this even can drive me crazy at times.  I figure we are each dealing with this in our own way.  I can't even think about the stories he will have about me after all this is over.  I am sure I am driving him even more crazy with all the extra hormons.  Keep your head up.