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Rachael_5711

Hey all-  I am sorry if I wasn't specific enough, I guess my question is how is it to have kids in the military? and if you guys could do it again would you rather your husband be a civilian?

My husband was in the USCG for 5 years and is thinking about getting back in, we will probably be having kids soon so just wanted some feedback.

Thanks!

HappyMommy28

I grew up a military brat and married military.  I have no idea how civilian life would be.  i will say that the military has great benefits and I love being married to a military man.  Growing up it was hard on my mom.  She was basically a single mom for half our lives.  We managed and we grew up being proud and supportive of our father.

JoBieger05

Personally like PP I'm not too sure on the civilian side. I'd rather have children on the military side though. The benefits are great. I think I paid a total of $12.00 for my whole pregnancy and delivery. And I had a horrible delivery.  And I love the life. I am proud of my husband and my daughter will grow up being proud of her daddy.

rickisue80

I don't think it makes a difference one way or another. DS was born civilian and I'm now pregnant with #2. I think what matters is the parents and your attitudes. I was young when DS was born (as far as I'm concerned I was young! lol) and his dad was pretty well useless. But, I made the best of it and finally paid off the bills 5 years after ds was born. This one is fully covered and I have a MUCH better man in my life (yes, I gush about dh all the time! lol). So, I really believe that civilian or military is what you make of it. The plus for military is the entire thing being covered without worry of complications or unexpected issues putting you in debt or bankrupt.

GL to you both!

karaknr

Military kids are usually really well adjusted to change, especially when they are born into it. They have their phases and issues like any other kids. But if the parent handles the change and has the right attitude about the moves and a parent leaving consistently, then the kids usually adjust well. When the parent is negative and constantly complaining about the military and/ or the parent leaving all the time, the child tends to adjust poorly.

Military parents I know go out of their way when they get to a new base to find a group of friends who have kids their childs age, get their kids involved with other kids and extra curricular activities. But you have to remember Mil kids tend to make friends more easily because MOST of the kids in their towns will be military brats also, they are all new.

basically if you address it the right way, your kids will be just fine. You will probably have much more to deal with than them as the parent who doesnt deploy. In any case, I personally feel that raising my kids in the military lifestyle instills more of a sense of value, patriotism, and ability to adjust. Life is full of changes and when a child gets used to this before they even reach adulthood I think (for the most part) they become more well rounded people and more independent.

HTH!

NSL

Overall, while the Army has been good to us (insurance, getting to live interesting places and meet interesting people, etc...) I would rather have a civilian husband than one who was deployed and missing huge chunks of our kids' lives. 

meltoine

There are pros and cons to each side. I like that my kid(s) will meet new people and experience new places and cultures. On the other hand, I love having grown up in the same place all my life and being able to go "home" every so often. I fear that my kids won't have that experience of "home".