kinda in a funk =(

SanHawaii08

one girl I used to volunteer with lost her son last week - at 36 or so weeks.  her water broke on night, and they couldn't find a heartbeat at the hospital.  she gave birth the next morning.  they're investigating to see whether they can figure out why the baby's heart stopped, but they may never know. 

she's been amazingly positive and looking for the good from this, but i can't even imagine what it's like.  we actually go (went?!) to the same hospital/group of midwives, and ran into each other days a month ago at our appointments.  everything was absolutely fine for her then - as far as i know, there were no indications of anything abnormal until they got to the hospital after her water broke.

...i've been feeling a bit terrified ever since that something will go wrong.   i know it's irrational, but...you just never know what can happen, right? 

i've been nervous all weekend about everything - is baby not moving enough?  why isn't he moving?  when did i last feel him?  oh, that feels strange - are those BH, or something else?  i haven't felt that before - is that bad?  wait - is he moving too much?  maybe he's in distress?  ...stressing like this can't be good - i need to calm down.    etc. 

so...i don't know.  words or wisdom, or hugs, or something please!   

eacerna

oh no! so sorry to hear about your friend. i can imagine how devastating that will be especially if her entire pregnancy has been complication free. really, you just never know what will happen :-(. all we can do is leave it up to the Lord and pray that everything will be fine.

i was just watching the Today show this morning and they featured a story about a couple who are expecting their first baby but got into a car accident. the guy turned the car so that his side of the car got hit which saved the mom and baby (due Nov). the dad-to-be died :-(. i couldn't help but cry upon hearing the story. i hugged DH after hearing the story.

i don't blame you for feeling paranoid. i will probably feel the same thing. on the other hand, the more you stress, the more it may bring harm to the baby so try not to.

MauiBride2008

This is so scary   These are the things that I can't help to think about and I hate it.  Even though you have a flawless pregnancy, you never know what can happen in the end.  

 I'm sorry to hear about your friend, I can't imagine the pain they are going through right now.  Try and stay postive and not stress, although I know it's hard not too.  ((hugs))

myday1708

Oh no, that is awful about your friend. I know it's hard, but you just can't dwell on it. There will always be something to worry about... That is motherhood, worry worry worry... It doesn't stop when they are born either. Because then you get to worry about losing them to SIDS. Or a deadly infection. Or a nasty fall down the stairs...

And then as they grow, you find other things to worry about. Like you read a Web site about a family who finds out when their baby is 15 months old that she has a rare form of cancer. And you wonder what magical number your kid must make it to so that you know they won't get that. But you know there is no such number. www.emilykatebaby.com 

Or you hear about a freak lightning storm, like we had in DC, a couple months ago and how a family was out for a hike and a tree branch fell and killed their little 6-year-old boy. And you cry and hope that never happens to you. But you never know. Will that stop us from ever going hiking? Or what about swimming? https://tinyurl.com/3ynpfkn 

Anyway, this is much longer than I meant. But the point I'm making is that there will always be things to worry about and when you become a parent, you just worry even more. In fact, stories that might not have affected you before will affect you more as a parent. 

So you just have to do your best to be POSITIVE. That's all you can do. Worry hurts you and it hurts your baby, so you really need to be positive right now.

SO SMILE!!! MAKE YOURSELF SMILE!!!! DO SMILE EXERCISES!! :-) 

MrsNJSwimmer

hugs! i'm sorry about your friend... that's horrible!

You will worry until he's born, then you'll worry some more!  Did I feed him enough? Did I play with him enough?  Is he going to have speech delays b/c we always have the TV on in the background? What if we get into a car accident and the carseat I bought isn't good enough and he gets hurt?  It doesn't end.

Try to stay positive, as pp have said.  It's true, you never know what can happen - to any of us at any time.  Carpe diem!

sanae78

How sad.  I used to worry a little about that stuff, too, especially when I saw stuff at work like that.  But remember that it is VERY rare.  The odds are definitely in your favor. 

It's totally true what everyone says, though.  You never stop worrying.  Even when they're grown and off to college...I was watching this E! special about these murders...you know the girls who are away at college and disappear and are found dead.  Ugh.  Just gotta try not to think about those things.  Again, the chances of those kinds of things happening are pretty slim. 

Just remember that baby is healthy right now, and be grateful for that.  

MrsIH

That is so unbelievably sad  I'm sorry Sandra *hugs*  Everyone is right though, the worrying just continues.  But like Malia said don't focus on it and stay focused on the positives and keep the faith, I know it's easier said and done when you hear such devastating news though.  I'm thinking of you!  

MrsZiz

I think everyone pretty much summed it up. I was SUPER nervous when I was pregnant with Bella because I worked on a high risk OB floor, which meant women making it to 40 weeks and delivering a non-breathing baby and the baby would pass away... it was AWFUL! I had to keep reminding myself that it was them and not me and to be thankful for each day that I had carrying the LO in my belly.

Then I gave birth and all hell broke lose! Did I feed her enough? Why are her bili levels going up? Why won't she eat this bottle? Then we bought a bunch of different bottles only to find out which one she preferred. Now she's a year old and in the 5% for weight, I worry the same... am I not feeding her enough? Should I feed her more? Does she need more milk? Is she having enough wet diapers? Could she be pooping enough? When did I last give her a bath? Is she warm enough? Oh and she's cruising and letting go, I'm nervous that she'll bit it and hit the hardwood floor! It's a crazy amount of worry.

Yup then I got KU again and since I miscarried in April I worried that I would miscarry this time... it was a big amount of stress and then Lisa with the pirates said to me on here, Be thankful each and every day for every minute that you have with THIS baby and enjoy each day of being pregnant (or something of the sort) and it hit me like a load of bricks. This was a NEW baby and all of the worry wasn't good for this LO, so that was it. Every day I tell THIS baby how much I love it and how thankful I am to have another day carrying him/her in my belly and how I can't wait to be their mama and for them to meet all of the people that love them... I should add that I also kiss Bella MULTIPLE times and say "mama loooooves you!" and she giggles... it's so much fun!

So in a book I'm SO sorry that lady lost her baby, I can't imagine the pain that she must be feeling. I know that your stressing out about it all but you MUST love your baby, love being pregnant and embrace this time in your life! 

SanHawaii08

<teary sniff>    thanks ladies, that's just what I needed.  gotta stay positive and be thankful for every day!

inamra

Oh no, I'm so sorry to heaar about her loss. That is devastating =(

But pps are right. Once we become mothers, all we do is worry and we can't help it! I told MH soon after B was born that I realized that I never really feared anything until now...because fear for LO's safety overwhelms any fear I've ever had in my life.

But as a pg mom, one of the best things you can do for your LO is to not stress and worry because a happy mom = a happy baby so enjoy your pg and relax! It's the best thing you can do for your baby!

mrspresley

*big hugs* i think what everyone said is right, but Malia described it perfectly. i hope you'll be able to move past this soon. it's so sad but you shouldn't dwell on it.