Really?! Is this tacky?

dizzycooks

I just got a thank you note from my cousin.  It was for the gift we gave her at her wedding I assume.  I can't be sure because really it's just a photo card with "thank you" printed on it.  No personal message, no mention of the gift, nothing!!

 I already RSVP'd to her baby shower (yes she was pregnant at her wedding) and told her I couldn't make it.  Which is the truth, I have a work commitment that weekend, but I was planning to send a gift despite my relief that I don't need to attend.  I really was not ready to attend a baby shower, especially for someone who did not "intend" to get pregnant.

 Anyway, after the tacky thank you note from the wedding I am rethinking my desire to send anything more than a nice card.

WWTTCAL do?

Rawr08

I think that is very tacky.  I am in the process now of doing thank you notes for my bridal shower and I would never do that.  A thank you note should always include the person's name, the gift and a signature.  I would send her a baby gift, just maybe something little though.

kbel424

I think her thank you card is tacky, I spent hours writing out personalized thank yous to our wedding guests. But it is a family member, so sending a small gift would be appropriate.

cherylanddoug

Honestly I have noticed more and more couples sending out a generic picture thank you card.  It annoys me.  If I cared about them I would still send a gift though, but that's just me. 

kathymarie

I HATE, I repeat, HATE ty cards like that. If I took the time to pick something out for you and spent my hard-earned money on your damn gift, the least you could do is pick up a pen at the dollar store and write:

Dear Kathy,

Thank you for the gift.

Love,

Ungrateful Bride.

 

I'd still send a gift to the shower, but that's because of the adherence to etiquette that causes me to be appalled by her ty card.  

PrincessDi80

kbel424:

I think her thank you card is tacky, I spent hours writing out personalized thank yous to our wedding guests. But it is a family member, so sending a small gift would be appropriate.

This.  Be the bigger person

itsmegin

Huh...that is pretty bad not to even write anything.

I don't know about sending a gift. IMO, you are not obligated to send a gift to a shower you aren't attending. I mean, she will probably send out birth announcements, at which point you are expected to send a gift, and/or you could bring one when you first see the baby. 

But if you were planning on sending a gift, I wouldn't not send it just because of the tacky thank you card, though you are 100% right that it sucks not to say anything. I have never received a card like that!

kellbelle618

PrincessDi80:

kbel424:

I think her thank you card is tacky, I spent hours writing out personalized thank yous to our wedding guests. But it is a family member, so sending a small gift would be appropriate.

This.  Be the bigger person

I agree!

e_uecker

It is tacky. I spent so long writing out messages not only thanking gifts, but them coming to the wedding. I still think it would be nice to send something. Or you could bring something with you when you meet the baby like PP said.

Dawneecakes

I have received cards like that.   I would still for future engagement give a gift.  I wouldn't put as much thought and effort into it though.

CashewsMommy

cherylanddoug:

Honestly I have noticed more and more couples sending out a generic picture thank you card.  It annoys me.  If I cared about them I would still send a gift though, but that's just me. 

This!!

The best thank you i got was a picture card, but it was a post card and they wrote on the back. That was nice.

Kira98

That is so tacky.  I would send something still because I wouldn't want to stoop to her level.  However I agree you don't need to send a gift for the shower and when the baby comes--just one is fine.

ColleenS629

I have gotten a few of those, too, and yes, I think it's tacky. I would probably send a small gift, though.

TeacherVicky

That IS tacky. I spent quite a bit of time designing my thank you cards with a few of our wedding images for the company who printed them, then I also spent hours writing a personal message on every one of them. I did the same for my bridal shower.

As for sending a gift - family member or not, if it were me it would depend on how close we were. Some people may think that that's tacky, but I have a really big family and some cousins who have showers just for the gifts and $$.

jessicasuzann

That is tacky and thoughtless. I say get the baby a savings bond and give it to the baby in a card when he/she is born. That way the parents "get" nothing.

And I might even be so passive-aggressive as to be sure to give the card to the parents and say something like, "It's a savings bond for little _________ --and please don't feel the need to write out a thank you card; I know how busy new parents are!" 

AGFaso

I had picture thank you cards, but I still wrote on the back of every single one, w/o even thinking about it! No advice on the gift thing tho, it depends on how close you are.