new here (long)

mypeanut12

Hi guys! Well I had a miscarriage tuesday morning. After going to the ER on saturday morning with some light brown spotting the Dr came in and said "looks like your having a miscarriage and said that the nurse will come in shortly and get you ready to leave" Seriously??? thats how you tell me that i am loosing my baby. that was the worst feeling I have ever felt. After that i returned to the ER tuesday morning with horrible cramping and more bleeding (knowing I was having a miscarriage but just needing something for the pain) Never once did the Dr. come in the nurse came in to take me to have an u/s and then came in again to tell me in fact I had miscarried and nothing was showing up in the u/s. She came back to give me pain meds and a prescription and told me she was very sorry and even gave me a hug. I just dont see how Dr could be so crappy about telling you you are loosing your baby. I understand they see if everyday and everything but I'm a person and this was my first baby have a little damn sympathy please. anyway I just got the courage to go ahead and post something after lurking all day. You ladies seem so sweet and loving here and although i hate that we are all going through this I'm glad that there are people in here that know exactly what I am going through!!!! DOes it get better? I have this  feeling of loneliness and that noone gets it. I was 7 weeks pregnant and i just feel like why did this happen to me. what can i do to make myself feel better? My husband had to go back to work on wed. so my mom has been here with me since then, and just had to leave today. I know my husband is super upset and hasnt even had a chance to deal. just lurking on this board today has made me feel a little better. how are you and your husbands getting through this difficult time?

ColleenS629

I'm sorry for your loss. My doctor/ nurse were a little less than compassionate, too. I had the same feelings as you did. To answer your questions:

It gets a little better, but I don't think I'll ever be fully over it. Honestly, the only thing that helped me was talking to the girls on this and the mc/pl board. It helped me feel less alone.

My DH talked to a friend to help him deal with the m/c. He was looking for more P&R than I could give (he wanted to hear "God has a plan," "This one just wasn't meant to be," "It will all work out in the end."). I was more in a place where I couldn't understand how taking my baby from me could be anyone's plan. I didn't want to be patronized with "it will all work out in  the end" because who knows how anything will turn out. 

mommy411

Oh I am sooo sooo sorry for you loss and dealing with such a tool!

Big hugs to you and DH.

It is very hard to deal with such a loss. Make sure you talk out your feelings with DH. It's very important.

jr63_2020

ColleenS629:

I'm sorry for your loss. My doctor/ nurse were a little less than compassionate, too. I had the same feelings as you did. To answer your questions:

It gets a little better, but I don't think I'll ever be fully over it. Honestly, the only thing that helped me was talking to the girls on this and the mc/pl board. It helped me feel less alone.

I could have written this part exactly!

I'm so sorry for your loss and that jerk of a doctor treated you the way he did. It's sad that doctors still treat women who m/c as if it's taboo or as if they're defective. ((hugs)) to you and your husband!

EricaK28

I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs

butterfly843

I'm so sorry for your loss, sending hugs. I changed ob's after I lost my twins because I felt like she had no time for me when I was in the hospital.

mypeanut12

thanks ladies. I know its going to be a long hard road ahead but I believe DH and I will get through. like i said before i'm glad you all are around to talk to!

shanna82

I'm sorry for your loss and welcome to TTCAL.  I had a bad experience with my OB also during and after my m/c...I have a new doctor now who I think will be great!  Maybe you could go OB shopping?

This board and the m/c loss board has truly helped me grieve, heal, grieve some more, laugh, and cry!  I couldn't have done this without these ladies.

When you get a chance, check out our TTCAL blog.  It has a lot of great info and the link is in my siggy.