I need to break up with an RE....

ade2be

and I don't know which one.

I went to RE#2 yesterday....and I loved them.  But now I found out that my insurance will consider everything through them as infertility....vs RE#1 which will cover ultrasounds and stuff as diagnostic.  I don't understand why its different.

I need to choose 1 but I don't know which.

RE#1 is very proactive on doing loss testing and figuring everything out that we're facing in advance.  They are pushing IVF as a real possibility (though won't find out final recommendation until 9/28).  He is also pushing surgery on the dermoid and endo before ttc.  The office was nice, but one of those that we just didn't click with.  They also are very "drug" happy there.

RE#2 didn't really want to do any loss testing right now.  He's ready for us to jump into injectible IUI cycles.  Very much a "whatever you are comfortable with" doctor.  Our personalities clicked and we really loved him.  However, everything will go towards my lifetime max here.

Until the insurance came into picture, the plan was to go back to RE#1 to get the test results....and take the knowledge to RE#2.  Now I'm not sure what we're going to do!?!

suntoto

Our RE was pushing IVF with us, but b/c of cost she let us continue IUI.  You can talk with RE 1 about this.  It sounds to me that he has a lot going for him. 

surfergirlkona

I would go with the insurance coverage. It is quite a huge sum we have spent and are now facing. If I had the choice I would prefer some money in my pocket given they are both great REs. I would talk to the RE 1 and voice your concerns, they are not going to do anything you do want. But from reading your post they want to move quickly and fix you up.

DoingItRight

Ummm....I think that I would have to go with the one that offered the most insurance coverage.

ERICA21779

Hey there,

The big thing is the insurance factor and this seems to be what's throwing your original plan off.  I've been told it's simply how the office codes things and that determines how the Ins company will process it.  I guess I would suggest, if you haven't already, calling RE#2 to ask them why they code things as IF vs. Diagnostic as the other RE does. You seem to like RE #2 better so if the insurance factor could be solved it seems like this would work.    I also like that RE#2 is not "pushing" things......at the end of the day it is your decision to make what to do with your body and you have the right to take your own steps at your own pace.  

ColindaP

Ooh, that's a tough decision. What about objective criteria on them both: success rates, research participation, professional memberships and awards, publications, etc?

I like the proactiveness of RE #1 as you described him. I do think it's important to click with your RE, because trust is a big part of it, so that's unfortunate that you don't click with him. My approach towards doctors though, is I want someone who listens to my concerns, addresses my questions to my satisfaction, but ultimately is at least a little bit assertive on recommending a plan. I wouldn't feel comfortable with someone who's just like "Well, we can do whatever you want to do." I'm going to see him so he - the expert who studied this - can interpret everything for me and tell me what would be the best course of action. Not that I don't want him taking my point of view and converns into account, but I'd want him to address those with me and explain to me why the course of action he recommends is the best one, did  that make any sense at all?

mdm2137

I think I would go with #1 also. Just be clear about what you want. Good luck!

ade2be

ColindaP:

Ooh, that's a tough decision. What about objective criteria on them both: success rates, research participation, professional memberships and awards, publications, etc?

I like the proactiveness of RE #1 as you described him. I do think it's important to click with your RE, because trust is a big part of it, so that's unfortunate that you don't click with him. My approach towards doctors though, is I want someone who listens to my concerns, addresses my questions to my satisfaction, but ultimately is at least a little bit assertive on recommending a plan. I wouldn't feel comfortable with someone who's just like "Well, we can do whatever you want to do." I'm going to see him so he - the expert who studied this - can interpret everything for me and tell me what would be the best course of action. Not that I don't want him taking my point of view and converns into account, but I'd want him to address those with me and explain to me why the course of action he recommends is the best one, did  that make any sense at all?

Yes - it makes perfect sense.  I've looked at the success rates, etc from both clinics.  They both have very similiar statistics, however, the RE#1 doesn't see nearly as many patients...since he also does menopause stuff as well.  I'm just torn between the proactive doctor we'll probably need to be very assertive with for them to take our opinions into account.....vs....the one that we really clicked with.  He reminded me a lot of my OB whom I love.

Thanks for everyone's responses.  Gives me some thoughts to noodle on.

ade2be

I thought DH put it in a good way. We are going to be much less stressed about the process going on RE#2.  But we're going to be much less stressed about the financial impact of going to RE#1.  Not sure I know which one makes me feel better.....

surfergirlkona

ade2be:

I thought DH put it in a good way. We are going to be much less stressed about the process going on RE#2.  But we're going to be much less stressed about the financial impact of going to RE#1.  Not sure I know which one makes me feel better.....

If it helps, the financial stress we are going through with IVF is horrible.    Not that I am pushing you either way, but it does create an unneeded stress.  Hope you can find your decision soon

kew243

I read your response in my post and saw this.  I feel for ya!  That is really tough.  Good luck with your choice.

AGFaso

I"m sure you will make the right decision with all the PP recs  (( hugs ))