DH never thanks me for dinner

alybookgirl

He is a great husband, but he never thanks me for dinner or tells me that it is good. Every now and then he'll say "you are a really good cook," but he never says that while we're eating. It kinda hurts my feelings. He always thanks my mom or MIL when they cook for us, why does he not say it to me? I know this is dumb, but I just wish he'd tell me that he appreciates that I cook every night. Oh well.

emiliemadison

Have you ever told him that it would make you feel good if he thanked you, or complimented your cooking during a meal? He probably feels like he needs to thank your mom or his mom for dinner because you were invited to their house as guests. He doesnt feel like a guest in his own house, and obviously doenst think you need to be thanked. So explain to him instead of "Oh well"-ing.

lilmissmuffin12

yeah youre definitely going to have to tell him.  im sure he appreciates it but doesnt realize you would like to hear thank you....or doesnt realize he doesnt say it.  men usually need things explained to them.  i have to remind myself of that all the time. 

alybookgirl

I haven't told him that it is important to me. I guess I didn't want him to think I was telling him what to do or nagging him. But he's not a mind reader sooooo......

lynsef

I was just thinking this same thing the other night.  However, most men (my DH included) don't automatically think to do things like that.  Everyone once in awhile he will say something like "that was really good" or whatever and if I ask him if he like something that I cooked he will usually say yes, but will also tell me if he didn't like it.  I don't think he needs to thank me every night, but it would be nice especially when I make more elaborate meals.  He has told me before when I've expressed my feelings about a similar issue that things like that don't bother him so he doesn't think about it bothering me. 

Courtney&Jason

You just reminded me to thank my husband for cooking all of the meals. 

Ditto PP, men are sometimes dumb.  You need to spell it out for them.

ACR

After saying things like "You're welcome for cooking such a delicious dinner" when we eat & "Thanks for cleaning up the kitchen" after he's done that, DH has gotten the hint that it is appreciated to thank me for cooking.

Coxity

I hope I remember to thank DH for mowing the lawn and taking the trash out...this gets me thinking I should really be more conscientious about that. Thanks for the reminder.

bourk997

Maybe dinner feels routine to him so he doesn't feel the need to show his thanks (though I'm sure he is thankful).  When my husband and I got married, I made it a point to serve dinner on the good china at least once a month with a glass of his favorite wine and a candle lit. It's kind of cheesy but it's a fun way to make dinner special.

SWILM

you have got to tell him. Men can be really dumb when it comes to this sort of thing 

dragon_chica

alybookgirl:

I haven't told him that it is important to me. I guess I didn't want him to think I was telling him what to do or nagging him. But he's not a mind reader sooooo......

I don't know why you feel the need to immediately equate expressing your feelings to nagging.  All you have to say is, "DH, it would really mean a lot to me if you could express some appreciation towards the meals I cook for you.  I work really hard and put a lot of love into it.  I feel a bit sad when I don't feel appreciated."  Things like that.   If you truly think that he would see you as being a nag than that's a whole other problem.

EMTX

lilmissmuffin12:

yeah youre definitely going to have to tell him.  im sure he appreciates it but doesnt realize you would like to hear thank you....or doesnt realize he doesnt say it.  men usually need things explained to them.  i have to remind myself of that all the time. 

Totally this. I'm sure he appreciates it; tonight when you're eating, ask if he likes it, and nicely comment that it would be nice if he'd tell you!

Mrs.Keith2B

Simple, just ask him how he likes dinner. Is it fishing for a compliment? Of course, but with men you need to be blunt like that. They don't get it.