Does she own this name? (long)

2-Step

DH's cousin/bestfriend's girlfriend once told me she loves a certain name because it is very similar to her own last name. She said that if she ever had a girl she would use it. DH and I really like the name too and it is very close to her last name and would probably be obvious we stole it!

Here are the facts:

This girl and DH's cousin are in a 10 yr+ off/on relationship but they have no plans to get married or have children (he wants to, she isnt sure). She is pretty much treated like part of the family already even though no one in our family or friend group thinks they should be together. (not sure this has anything to do with it, just part of the facts). Also, she is SUPER INTENSTLY sensitive to these types of things and kind of irrational in general and overreacts.

I used to be close with her, but we have grown apart over the past few years. My tendancy is to just say screw it and I don't care.

Would it be horrible to use the name ourselves? I know she will remember she told me about it and be pissed off, but I honestly don't really care that much since I am not a huge fan of hers. I just don't want to cause drama around my child's name for years to come!

MrsT0522

No, no one "owns" a name, well, unless you get it copyrighted or trade marked, but you know.

I would go ahead and use it, chances are there will be other children with that name as well, unless it's super unique. 

LadyXaverian

Was the name already on your list, or did you just add it to your list when you heard her mention it?

Either way, no one "owns" a name, so you can do what you want, but I personally would be annoyed if I shared a personal name with family significance (and that wasn't super common) and then someone close to me then used it.

2-Step

SarahL77:

Was the name already on your list, or did you just add it to your list when you heard her mention it?

Either way, no one "owns" a name, so you can do what you want, but I personally would be annoyed if I shared a personal name with family significance (and that wasn't super common) and then someone close to me then used it.

it is fairly unique, but i have seen it other places.

DH actually came up with it on his own, but I remembered her telling me that she really wanted to use it. I feel like it would only be an issue if they got married and if they had children, but then if they did I would feel bad.

I know that no one owns it. I was just wondering how people felt about other people "calling dibs" on names. I think I already feel guilty enough that I wouldn't do it.

veganxangel

So what's the name?

LadyXaverian

2-Step:

SarahL77:

Was the name already on your list, or did you just add it to your list when you heard her mention it?

Either way, no one "owns" a name, so you can do what you want, but I personally would be annoyed if I shared a personal name with family significance (and that wasn't super common) and then someone close to me then used it.

it is fairly unique, but i have seen it other places.

DH actually came up with it on his own, but I remembered her telling me that she really wanted to use it. I feel like it would only be an issue if they got married and if they had children, but then if they did I would feel bad.

I know that no one owns it. I was just wondering how people felt about other people "calling dibs" on names. I think I already feel guilty enough that I wouldn't do it.

I think it is silly to call "dibs" on a name, and I wouldn't do it. If you absolutely love the name and can not imagine naming your kid anything else, I would use it.

With that said, if we have a DS, we plan to call him Duncan. That is my father's name, and it is not a common name-- at least not where I live. DH has a few cousins who are expecting babies as well. If they named their kid Duncan, I would be irked, but I would still use it because I love it and it is important to me.

I can not imagine naming a son anything else. However, we have a few girl names we like, and if one of them happens to get used by a cousin before ours in born, I would be totally fine with it (since we aren't sharing our choicese and all our choices are somewhat common) and we'd go with something else that we like.

Good luck making a decision!!

MrsRoy07

Tell us the name!!!!

Ceridwen21

I don't think anyone "owns" a name, but if she has said she plans on using it, I personally wouldn't.  Treat others as you would want to be treated.  If the roles were reversed, would you be mad at you for doing it?

laurenbrooke_09

I'm just gonna throw it out there one more time...

Tell the name.

veganxangel

:taps foot:

JasonKristen

This has me so curious!! Please tell us the name! 

Also, I believe that no one can steal a name.  If you are truly in love with the name I would use it.  Who knows if you or her will even have a girl!  Maybe talk with her about it if you feel uncomfortable about using it.

HappyMrsK

veganxangel:

So what's the name?

I bet it's Nevaeh.

pawcall

I don't even have to read your post.  Whoever "she" is, she doesn't own THAT or ANY name.

After reading your post - 

- you're setting yourself up to feel/look bad.  Why are you referring to using it as "stealing it"?  It's not her property, you're not depriving her of use of it, therefore you're not stealing anything.

- if she's so sensitive and irrational, something you do at some point will set her off.  I wouldn't go around worrying about it.  Sounds like her problem to me.

 

Kind of curious to know the name...