Shower question- edited for clarity

MsPurple24

I'm hosting a shower for a friend who is adopting a newborn baby girl.  We're holding the shower after the baby has arrived, so she'll be present at the shower.  I'm trying to figure out how to word the invitation, because *not* including her husband's name sounds strange to me, but this is very much a ladies' shower, and her husband won't be there (aside from a drop-by at the end, perhaps).  I don't want to give the impression that it's a couple's shower or a welcome party- we're trying to give her the "traditional shower" that she had always wanted with a pregnancy, even though a pregnancy did not end up being her path.

This is what I have:

Please join us as we help Staci and John ______ welcome their newly adopted daughter

If I take his name out (since the shower is for her), I feel like it gives the impression that she adopted the child without him!

Please join us as we help Staci _____ welcome her newly adopted daughter

Any input on this?  Or if there is a different phrase I could use at the top of the invitation that might be more appropriate, I'm open to suggestions!  I'm a first-time adoptive-auntie, so I just want to do this the right way. 

TIA!

(See my added post below for the reason we're including "adopted" on the invitation.)

rach2100

Hi there!   Congratulations on being an auntie!!  I think invitations to an adoption shower aren't all that different from a traditional shower.

Try www.verseit.com   They have some really cute wording samples!  Good Luck!

MayDayGirl

Congrats to your friend.  I guess I would word it as well just like you would if she were pregnant.  Hope that helps.

Congrats to you as well!

Amy720

I don't really know what to do about the guy's name, but I wouldn't use the word adopted on the invitation.  I would just say welcome their new baby girl or something like that.

mom2one

Let's shower Stacey with gifts for her new baby girl!

MsPurple24

I guess I should have added the reason we're including "adopted" in the invitation.  It's at the request of my friend- they've kept their adoption plans a secret from almost everyone, so when people receive this invitation, it will also be their way of telling their friends and family that they've adopted. 

She wants to avoid sending a shower invitation and having people call her to congratulate her on a pregnancy or tell her that "I didn't even know you were pregnant!"  She struggled with IF for 5 years, so this is a sensitive subject and she wants to make it clear that they adopted.

Sorry for the confusion.

silliestbunny

I am hung up about the "adopted" phrase too....   If your friend has other adoptive mommies to ask, have them weigh in.  By the time the baby is home for the shower, word will be out.  Those she's inviting will know.

Personally, I'd hate it for my child to look at the scrapbook of his/her shower and see "adopted" all over.  Yes, it's part of who they are but they are no less my child than if I'd had a bio child. 

Not sure if I am making sense....and again, it's your friend's choice.  Just wanted to weigh in.

Off topic-- love your wedding pic.  My wedding was at the San Gabriel mission so I love seeing other mission pics

 

JanieJones

how about making it a birth announcement shower combo card?

 ________________________________

You're invited to Staci Lastname's baby shower!

Come and celebrate with Staci as we congratulate her and John on their newest addition, Baby Lastname, Adopted with love Sepetmber 9, 2010.

  

(photo or cute graphic) Baby Lastname

 Born September 7, 2010, City, State  ...................

 _________________________________

 

MsPurple24

silliestbunny:

I am hung up about the "adopted" phrase too....   If your friend has other adoptive mommies to ask, have them weigh in.  By the time the baby is home for the shower, word will be out.  Those she's inviting will know.

Personally, I'd hate it for my child to look at the scrapbook of his/her shower and see "adopted" all over.  Yes, it's part of who they are but they are no less my child than if I'd had a bio child. 

Not sure if I am making sense....and again, it's your friend's choice.  Just wanted to weigh in.

Off topic-- love your wedding pic.  My wedding was at the San Gabriel mission so I love seeing other mission pics

 

That's a really good point, and maybe I'll bring that up to her.  I see what you mean, but like I said, it was her choice of wording.  I also liked another poster's suggestion of doing a combined invite and announcement, if she's ok with that.

And thank you- I like seeing other people's mission wedding pics, too!

CaptainSerious

I think it's really sweet you are doing this for your friend.  What about something like:

Staci and John adopted a baby girl!  Please help us shower Stacie and (baby's name) with love (or please help us celebrate with Stacie)....

or

Help us welcome home Staci and John's new baby girl, who they adopted on _____!

The reason many of us have issue with the wording "adopted daughter/girl" is because we see the adoption as an event in some children's lives, not a description of who they are.  I know it seems picky, but it's a subliminal message that shows that the adoption in not a definitive part of the person's identity.

jehnm

I love the suggestion of making the invite a birth announcement and shower invite.  I think that's perfect and the wordings in the last couple of posts really works. 

I always think if you wouldn't say...their recently delivered daughter or something like that if it were a biological child then their is no reason to say adopted daughter.   I get the point of why she wants to be clear about the adoption, just use the adoption as an event and not a descriptive word! 

I'm sure the shower will be wonderful!!

DBurket

The last couple of posts were spot on for me... 

I think it is appropriate to use the word "adopted" on the invitation in relation to the event of adoption, but I wouldn't say "adopted daughter" because I think it subliminally defines their relationship with their daughter as something different than if their daughter was biological. I know this was certainly not your intent!

I would never talk about my child by saying "My son is adopted". In an appropriate situation/context I may say "My son was adopted". Does that make sense?

Your friend is lucky to have you! I think it is very sweet you are throwing her a shower and are even cognizant of the fact that the words you use on the invitation MATTER. You rock for being so in-tuned!  

For what it's worth, I really like the wording in the post about doing a combined birth announcement / shower invite. However, I don't think this needs to take the place of what ever birth announcements your friend wants to send. I think this is good wording for the shower invitation!  

Dragonfly_Bride

Hi M! I think you got some good advice and ideas here. I just wanted you to know that you are a super sweet friend for doing this. I think your friend is really going to be happy! Good luck to her!

Jermysgirl

CaptainSerious:

Staci and John adopted a baby girl!  Please help us shower Stacie and (baby's name) with love (or please help us celebrate with Stacie)....

Use this...it's perfect!!!