4 yr old DD peeing her pants. Again. Help.

veloelle

DD turned 4 in late July. She's been potty trained for about 2 years, and night trained for about a year. I forget.

She's had 3 accidents this week. One at my moms at nap, last night in bed, and today in DH's car. The daytime accidents are completely preventable, and it puts DH into orbit. He is the most laid back guy ever, but her peeing in her carseat sent him over the edge. Even at night, she usually gets up and goes pee.

I don't know what to do. She knows to ask. We have a potty in the trunk of each car, so she can always go pee, anywhere, anytime. She'll lie and say she doesn't have to go, meanwhile she's doing the pee dance. For us it's twofold 1) lying that she doesn't have to go when it's clearly obvious and 2) peeing in her pants.

We've told her again and again about lying, and not waiting until the last second. She peed on the bathroom floor last week at DC because she waited too long.

I took her to the DR a month ago for a suspected yeast/uti, and they said she was fine. She'll randomly scratch herself and say her vagina itches.

I think she just won't stop what she's doing.

WWYD? I know you're not supposed to punish, but I think 3 accidents in one week is excessive at this age.

jettagurl

I really don't have any experience/advice about this...but at the very least I'd have her help clean it up. That's more natural consequences, but I think it would get punished in my house.  I think the "don't punish" thing is more for the training period.  

And my DH would be in orbit also.  

Sorry, I feel for you.... we just PT'd DD1, so I'm over the accidents and the 'almost made it's...lol.  

 

emilykristene2006

DD went through this at 4 also. She had a week, maybe 2 of accidents. I did get stern, but did not punish. I think with DD it had something to do with her night terrors.

Have there been any big changes?  I had to get back on DD. If I seen her doing the potty dance I took her pee. She couldn't tell me no, I just took her. It stopped happening just as quick as it started.

ridesbuttons

Talk to a physician to rule out any physical reasons.  Not to scare you, but my young niece was recently diagnosed with diabetes.  Her parents took her in  because she had, among other things, of a sudden 'loss' of control (had to pee all the time).

Very unlikely that this is the cause, but rule out any physical reasons.

omurray

My almost 4 yr old DS was doing this recently too.  So frustrating because I know I've read that sometimes during growth spurts, it can be hard for their brains to keep up with their bladders and accidents can happen.  But, his were getting pretty regular and I was afraid it was just laziness.  I finally decided to make a chart for him.  He got a sticker for each day that he had no accidents and when he got 5 days in a row, he got to go to Chuck E Cheese.  He had one accident on day 3 and had to start over, but then he went 5 days straight and we haven't had an issue since.

ilovemygirls

First thing is to check for UTI.  My doc said that sometimes irritation around the urethra can mimic a UTI & to put a little A&D ointment on it.  Next- lay off.  Kids do this for many different reasons, but usually it's not to be vindictive.  Something's going on in her life that is causing it.  Gentle reminders & if she has an accident say "oops, you had an accident.  Come help me clean it up, please" and involve her in that.  Do not punish.  It will pass, just don't put the pressure on her. 

Angela814

veloelle:

She'll lie and say she doesn't have to go, meanwhile she's doing the pee dance. For us it's twofold 1) lying that she doesn't have to go when it's clearly obvious and 2) peeing in her pants.

We have this same problem. Drives me nuts. I could carry DD to the potty, but she'll still hold it. She doesn't like us having the control, so I think she tries to hold it longer if we suggest she goes. It's almost better if we don't say anything. She doesn't seem to care about having to change her clothes and clean up either. The only thing that occasionally works is to try to race her. This has been happening since before DD2 was born; hopefully it's just a 4yo phase.

amiamish

DS waits till the last moment too, he even has started holding in his poop- he'll sit on the floor to try to make it not come out. It drives me nuts! So we do punish-because he only does it when he's really into what he's doing. The rule now is- if you pee/poop in your pants while you are playing, then you will not get to play with that toy for the rest of the day. Also we have started the treat jar again to get him pooping on the potty. Plus the sticker chart... it is working- he's doing much better now and we have fewer accidents.

Good luck!