How do playdates work when you don't know the parents?

PinkPiano

DD is already asking about having a playdate with a classmate in K.  I have no opportunity to get to know the parents because dd rides the bus to school and we pick them up in a carpool lane.  I am definitely not comfortable letting her go to someone's house that I don't know and would assume most parents feel the same. 

For now I've told dd that it's still early in the year and she should get to know her new friends more, but I want to be prepared in case she gets invited somewhere too.  I've thought about suggesting a playdate at the park so I could get to know the other mom/parents but then what if I don't feel comfortable?  The mom of her friend kind of stood out at our orientation night and seemed a tiny bit rough around the edges.  She may be perfectly fine but my first impression was not necessarily great.

ali-1411

What wouldn't you be comfortable about?  It would really depend on the situation.  If they smoke in the house or something....just say that you are paranoid about smoke so you'd rather they play outside or have the playdate at your house.

We are somewhat relaxed about playdates, though.  We'll talk to the parents, and then keep the first playdate short.  Only like an hour or so.  And then we'll just see how it goes.  We are in a huge neighborhood, though, so most of his classmates and friends live nearby.

PinkPiano

Well if I don't know the parents there are a million things I may not be comfortable with.  A few things that have crossed my mind...drugs, guns, aggressive animals, profanity, molestation.  The list could go on. 

 

ValAndRyan

When DS was that young, I'd always go over there with them for a few hours to get to know the mom/dad. The park is a very good idea too. I'd also usually ask him if his friend wanted to come over to our house instead. It was interesting to see what parents stayed to get to know me or just drop their kid off.

littlemermaid

I never allow my children to go over someone elses home without me for a playdate unless I knew both parents really well.    That being said I'm not a hypocrite because I also do not want their child in my home without their parents in tow if I do not know both parents well.  So in your case I would meet at a park, or at Chucke Cheese, or McDonalds with a play area.  Then in time once a friendship is formed with the parents the playdates can be moved into the homes without the parents.

jlw2505

I like the group play date idea.  I know my district has a play ground night right before school starts so the kids and parents get to know each other.  Can you try and organize something like that?  Or if she gets invited to a house and you are not comfy, see if you can go and hang out with her - maybe call the parents and explain that you just want to get to know them better since your kids are friends.