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Scared

jessietullochjessietulloch
in New to The Bump

I am 28 years old and a mother of 2. I am going through a divorce but havent recieved the papers yet. My boyfriend and i have only been together for 3 months but dated 12 years ago in high school. We are really happy together! He doesnt have any kids and thought there was a posibility he might not be able to have any.

 We found out about a week ago im pregnant. (almost 6 weeks). We are both excited because he really wants one and i LOVE babies. But Im still married. We havent been together long. Im not in the best place in my life. I moved in with my dad and he has everything. car, apartment, job, dogs. I got the best things...are 2 kids. But where i am living now it isnt easy to find a job or get a car. And on top of it i am still on his insurance...not sure if i can havee someone elses baby on his insurance.

Also, we have been trying to figure out a way to tell my dad, who i love to death, but everytime were about to do it...he talks about how protective of me he is and how he doesnt want me to end up with someone like my hopefully soon to be ex husband. And how my boyfriend needs to prove himself to me. Its really killing me! I know i cant hide it for much longer, this is my 4th pregnancy and i am starting to show at only almost 6 weeks. It wont be much longer.

 My boyfriend and I thought maybe we will get are own place and then tell them? Any advise?

Thanks

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Re: Scared

  • Dr.LorettaDr.Loretta member

    I don't even know where to begin.

    How long are you expected to stay on your STBXH's insurance? As long as you have insurance, I don't think a paternity test is necessary. But if your husband finds out, he could cut off the insurance out of spite, so I'd start looking for your own ASAP.

    You are a big girl, with one marriage and 2 kids under your belt. Certainly you can find a way to tell your dad you're pregnant. He's probably not going to take it well, but sometimes you have to do the hard things in life.

    If you can afford your own place, go for it. That should be separate from telling your dad or any other aspect of your life.

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  • jessietullochjessietulloch

    Thanks. I was able to talk to the insurance company today and they said he cant kick me off the insurance until the day the divorce is final. I feel weird about it but i guess there isnt much i can do.

    Im still really scared to tell my dad...always been a daddy's girl. Thought i could tell him anything but i feel i will disappoint him. I dont want him to think he will have to take care of me and three kids. He helped me a lot with my first because i was young. And a lot through my rough marriage. The timing isnt the best right now but nothin i can do about it.

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  • MKESweetieMKESweetie member

    Well, lets be honest. You're afraid you're going to disappoint your father because you probably are, because you did a disappointing thing. There's not a lot to be respected about being six weeks pregnant with a man you've been with for three months while you're still married to another man.

    That said, I think it is time for you to do some real fast growing up, and that is going to start with owning up to your "grown up" decisions. For crying out loud, tell you freaking father and be done with it. That's one thing off your list. 

    Next, where do you live? I imagine some place very, very rural if it is "hard to get a car" there. Start looking now. People all over are selling their cars. Grab the local newspaper (even the smallest towns have them) and start looking in the classifieds for a car. 

    While you're searching through that paper, look also for an affordable day care provider for your children, and a job for you. Many pregnant women work each day, and I think it's time for you to join their ranks. The worst thing you could do right now is put yourself in a situation where you are depending on yet another man.

    If you can afford a place, that's great, but I suggest finding a place on your own, not with your new boyfriend. Your children have been through an upheaval (the splitting of a home has got to be hard on children of any age) already. Leaving their home, losing their dad as a daily participant in their lives, and moving in with grandpa is a lot to handle. Seems like throwing in a new home, with a new male influence might be a bit much right now, and you should be thinking primarily of them right now, and less of your BF. 

    Finally, since you're still on your H's (STBXH's) health insurance, I suggest finding a therapist that is nearby and getting some counseling for you individually and also for your family (in whatever form you're in) ASAP. I think getting to the bottom of how you managed to get yourself into this situation (when presumably you and your BF both know how to prevent pregnancy) is going to be the first step in figuring out how to manage your life. 

    Good luck to you. 

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  • imoanimoan member
    There's this thing called birth control I'd like to introduce you to...
    image
    Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
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  • Jocelyn0415Jocelyn0415 member
    I call MUD. If not, I second imoan's adviCe.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
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  • stinkytwopointzerostinkytwopointzero
    imagepregomamma:

    I am 28 years old and a mother of 2. I am going through a divorce but havent recieved the papers yet. My boyfriend and i have only been together for 3 months but dated 12 years ago in high school. We are really happy together! He doesnt have any kids and thought there was a posibility he might not be able to have any.

     We found out about a week ago im pregnant. (almost 6 weeks). We are both excited because he really wants one and i LOVE babies. But Im still married. We havent been together long. Im not in the best place in my life. I moved in with my dad and he has everything. car, apartment, job, dogs. I got the best things...are 2 kids. But where i am living now it isnt easy to find a job or get a car. And on top of it i am still on his insurance...not sure if i can havee someone elses baby on his insurance.

    Also, we have been trying to figure out a way to tell my dad, who i love to death, but everytime were about to do it...he talks about how protective of me he is and how he doesnt want me to end up with someone like my hopefully soon to be ex husband. And how my boyfriend needs to prove himself to me. Its really killing me! I know i cant hide it for much longer, this is my 4th pregnancy and i am starting to show at only almost 6 weeks. It wont be much longer.

     My boyfriend and I thought maybe we will get are own place and then tell them? Any advise?

    Thanks

    You needed another relationship right now like a fish needs a bike.

    As you can see, vulnerability can sure lead to some uck fups of big big mistakes.

    And all you are concerned with really is HOW TO TELL YOUR  DAD.

    Give this guy the gate and then see what's what -- is there a chance that the child is your husband's? It may not even be his baby.

    URGHHHHHHHH.............don't  people THINK before they act???

    YOu don't need a boyfriend and the last thing you need in is another baby on the way.

     

    Report Reply
  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member

    imageimoan:
    There's this thing called birth control I'd like to introduce you to...

    You'd think a 28-year-old woman would be aware of this... but I guess not.

    fiizzlee = vag ** fiizzle = peen ** Babies shouldn't be born wit thangs ** **They're called first luddz fo' a reason -- mo' is supposed ta come after. Yo Ass don't git a medal fo' marryin yo' prom date. Unless yo ass is imoan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Then yo ass git a all-expenses paid cruise ta tha Mediterranean n' yo ass git ta hook up Jared Padalecki on tha flight over while bustin yo' jammies. But still no medal.
    Report Reply
  • MartiniChick01MartiniChick01

    How is it that ignorant people are the most fertile?

    Report Reply
  • amberlyroseamberlyrose

    The OP sounds like my aunt.. except my aunt already has 3 kids with another on the way with her new bf. 

     

    Jeanie, is that you? :/ 

    puppies-1

    <a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Home D
    Report Reply
  • nadiadrnadiadr member
    imageMKESweetie:

    Well, lets be honest. You're afraid you're going to disappoint your father because you probably are, because you did a disappointing thing. There's not a lot to be respected about being six weeks pregnant with a man you've been with for three months while you're still married to another man.

    That said, I think it is time for you to do some real fast growing up, and that is going to start with owning up to your "grown up" decisions. For crying out loud, tell you freaking father and be done with it. That's one thing off your list. 

    Next, where do you live? I imagine some place very, very rural if it is "hard to get a car" there. Start looking now. People all over are selling their cars. Grab the local newspaper (even the smallest towns have them) and start looking in the classifieds for a car. 

    While you're searching through that paper, look also for an affordable day care provider for your children, and a job for you. Many pregnant women work each day, and I think it's time for you to join their ranks. The worst thing you could do right now is put yourself in a situation where you are depending on yet another man.

    If you can afford a place, that's great, but I suggest finding a place on your own, not with your new boyfriend. Your children have been through an upheaval (the splitting of a home has got to be hard on children of any age) already. Leaving their home, losing their dad as a daily participant in their lives, and moving in with grandpa is a lot to handle. Seems like throwing in a new home, with a new male influence might be a bit much right now, and you should be thinking primarily of them right now, and less of your BF. 

    Finally, since you're still on your H's (STBXH's) health insurance, I suggest finding a therapist that is nearby and getting some counseling for you individually and also for your family (in whatever form you're in) ASAP. I think getting to the bottom of how you managed to get yourself into this situation (when presumably you and your BF both know how to prevent pregnancy) is going to be the first step in figuring out how to manage your life. 

    Good luck to you. 

    THIS!

    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • Swoop1Swoop1 member

    Well life happens.....but never buy in to the I didn't think I could have kids line....that interprets to I don't like condoms. 

    One thing to keep in mind though is in most states because you conceived while you were still married, that baby in the eyes of the law is your husbands. SURPRISE. It will have to be dealt with in the divorce. 

    Report Reply
  • evoy22evoy22
    imageMKESweetie:

    Well, lets be honest. You're afraid you're going to disappoint your father because you probably are, because you did a disappointing thing. There's not a lot to be respected about being six weeks pregnant with a man you've been with for three months while you're still married to another man.

    That said, I think it is time for you to do some real fast growing up, and that is going to start with owning up to your "grown up" decisions. For crying out loud, tell you freaking father and be done with it. That's one thing off your list. 

    Next, where do you live? I imagine some place very, very rural if it is "hard to get a car" there. Start looking now. People all over are selling their cars. Grab the local newspaper (even the smallest towns have them) and start looking in the classifieds for a car. 

    While you're searching through that paper, look also for an affordable day care provider for your children, and a job for you. Many pregnant women work each day, and I think it's time for you to join their ranks. The worst thing you could do right now is put yourself in a situation where you are depending on yet another man.

    If you can afford a place, that's great, but I suggest finding a place on your own, not with your new boyfriend. Your children have been through an upheaval (the splitting of a home has got to be hard on children of any age) already. Leaving their home, losing their dad as a daily participant in their lives, and moving in with grandpa is a lot to handle. Seems like throwing in a new home, with a new male influence might be a bit much right now, and you should be thinking primarily of them right now, and less of your BF. 

    Finally, since you're still on your H's (STBXH's) health insurance, I suggest finding a therapist that is nearby and getting some counseling for you individually and also for your family (in whatever form you're in) ASAP. I think getting to the bottom of how you managed to get yourself into this situation (when presumably you and your BF both know how to prevent pregnancy) is going to be the first step in figuring out how to manage your life. 

    Good luck to you. 

     

    THIS

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  • jessietullochjessietulloch
    well, things are great. I did move in with my boyfriend and have a job at are new apartment complex. we are both saving up for a car for me and things are going great. He is amazing with my kids(better then the kiods dad) and i couldnt ask for things to be going better. I did tell my dad and that was rough for a bit but are ef better. We are all happy and taking things day by day. So thanksfor lettin me know how you feel but i am happy with the way things worked out andmy divorceshould be happening soon.
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  • jessietullochjessietulloch

    p.s. thanks for everyone for bein so honest even if it was f ed up but fyi i was on birth control!

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  • jessietullochjessietulloch
    there is no way its anyones elses! i am no slut and had been separated from my husband for a long time before i got pregnant. whats dont is done and i dont understand why if people want to respond to posts they cant write something helpful instead of useless crap
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