:(

redshoegirl

Ben's still away so I've been doing solo baby duty this week and even though the boys haven't been too difficult (Will's been a bit cranky from teething, but nothing too horrible), I just feel so...drained.

My respect for single mamas just went up another notch this week, because you know what? This is HARD. (And yeah, I know that wins the award for Most Obvious Statement of the Year lol!) Like I said, the boys haven't been unusually difficult, but it's been so unrelenting for the last four days (with another two days to go). Although I do the vast majority of caring for the boys even when Ben is home, it makes a huge difference to be able to hand them off to someone, even if it's only for 10 minutes.

It probably doesn't help that Will didn't sleep very well last night (which means I didn't sleep well, of course), and I'm tired and headachy and I think possibly a little dehydrated right now and I really can't wait for Ben to get home on Saturday.

Anyone else want to post their woes? Misery loves company.

SirenSong

Awwww hon, I wish I could come over and help!

I also have a totally new found respect for single mothers, since I've had kids.

My sister has two boys and is doing it on her own (and pretty much has been since her eldest boy was 1. Yes, the boys have the same dad...long story). I think of her a lot and think of how hard it must be to be the only one to have your kids life in your hands, no one else to support you or bounce ideas off etc. Even just to have someone to vent to at the end of a long and craptacular day.

Anyway, sorry for getting off track. I know how ya feel and it IS draining. You feel like a tennis ball in a Wimbeldon match; you sort one kid's particular need out and it's immediately off to the other kid to sort out THEIR need (and back and forth, rinse and repeat...).

It really can feel like you're constantly juggling and trying to keep the balls in the air.

Josh is studying for exams at the moment and doesn't get home until late at night now so he walks in the door right around bedtime. Maya is usually a clingy kid but in the last 5 days, she has become even MORE clingy and literally won't let me put her down, let alone leave her sights.

Meanwhile, poor Samara gets put down on a rug alone because I'm in the kitchen with one Maya on my hip and a wooden spoon in the other.

I'm slowly learning to prepare and cook dinner with one hand, One Armed Masterchef, here I come?!

Then I have to bat Samara off whilst I have her on my lap during dinner because she desperately is trying to steal my food and Maya is wanting me to lean over her highchair and give her cuddles.

Bathtime, oh well....that's noisy and cry'ey. Sam doesn't care to watch Maya in the bath, she wants zzzz's. And getting Samara to sleep? Haha! Let's just say the routine goes: Samara's eyes start to get heavy and close and Maya picks that moment to run into the bedroom and yell something excitedly at the top of her lungs and a certain bebeh's eyes fly open. 

Wow, that's turned into a hella vent, I'm sorry for the hijack lol! That's my long way of saying "I feel ya, kiddo!" LOL.

I'm willing Saturday to come faster for ya bebe! Come hooooommmmme Ben!

myday1708

I got saddled with TWO big annoying projects at work, JUST as daycare called to say we needed to pick up Alexa right away because of suspected pink eye. Luckily, DH was able to take the rest of the day off, take her to the doctor and take her home. But I had to work late.... So he fed and bathed and put my sick baby to bed without me. I was so sad that I wasn't there! And to make matters worse... After working late, I had to come home and work even later (president speech), so I wasn't done with work until 10 pm!! On the bright side, I get to work from home today so I'll be with my baby all day!! :-)

eacerna

Aww. I can just imagine how tough it is taking care of ONE baby, much more TWO!! You're a super mom!! Hang in there mama!!

MrsNJSwimmer

dude, you have TWINS to take care of! I have a new found respect for single moms too, but seriously, most of them only have ONE child to take care of.  I think you are supermom!  I'm not sure I could take care of one by myself for a week - I'd go nuts.

 

MauiWedding08

hope the rest of the week goes fast for you! 

 

Malia, your post makes me sad - I have to leave Jack for 2 nights in Oct to go speak at a conf. in AZ.  DH is will be wrapped up in a trial so he can't come AND that means he might be out of work too late to even be on daycare pick up duty so Jack might be staying with my parents those nights.  I/we wimped out 2 weeks ago when I had to go out of town and DH just decided to come with but that won't be an option in Oct. But on a happy note - if his trial gets over by the time I'm done they will both fly down so we can spend a sunny weekend in AZ and catch up with old friends.

Married2MrWright

Oh wow Lisa, that's rough.  Hang in there mama and try to rest when the boys do...I dunno how single mamas do it. My mom raised me and my brothers...a twin brother and the younger one is 16 months younger, so three babies under 2 and she was 22 and single...OY....without much help until she remarried when we were 5 and 3 years old.  I seriously have no idea how she managed, but she did and I am grateful for that.

My woe this week is that ALL three of us are sick!  We must have caught something on Sunday during our flights from CA to OK.  There's nothing more pitiful than a sick little and a hubby to match.  We're all coughing, sneezing, and downright cranky.  Thankfully, once the acetaminophen kicks in for Libby she's happy enough to play for a while.  Poor baby.

cecig

I'm not sure how you are doing it with TWO babies, I might have died by now if I were you. You deserve an award!

DH had knee surgery 2 weeks ago, and since then, I'm tired. No scratch that, I am exhausted and on the verge of cracking. He can't help out with anything, so on top of working full-time, I'm having to take care of Cassie, him, and the house stuff. I don't think I get to sit down & relax until at least 9 or 10 pm because there is always something to do.

It definitely makes me appreciate single moms a lot more. And even moreso, it makes me miss my hubby. He normally takes care of all the things I hate to do, like grocery shop, putting gas in the car, taking out the trash, stomping on bugs....I want him back....whaaaaa!

Thanks for letting me vent

MrsNJSwimmer

Married2MrWright:

My woe this week is that ALL three of us are sick!  We must have caught something on Sunday during our flights from CA to OK.  There's nothing more pitiful than a sick little and a hubby to match.  We're all coughing, sneezing, and downright cranky.  Thankfully, once the acetaminophen kicks in for Libby she's happy enough to play for a while.  Poor baby.

Aw!  I hope you all feel better soon!

mrspresley

sorry, it sounds like you are being a trooper though! just think - he will be back very soon and i'm sure he misses the boys and will want to spend lots of time w/them

i totally understand how you feel... the other night when miss A was teething and getting up all night i would have loved to have some help b/c i was exhausted...i had worked a long day (left at 8:30am, did not get home until 6:45pm) and had to work again the next morning and when i asked brent to help me he flat out refused, even though he was off the next day, and he told me "i've worked 19 days straight w/o a day off, i'm not going up there." Grrrrrr.  under other circumstances i would have been fine b/c 19 days is a long time to work w/o a day off...but it was an easy 19 days...he wasn't even working, he was doing "observations" and every day he'd come home and tell me how bored he was...he'd "work" 2-3 hrs in the morning (not even getting there until after 9am) and then he'd get a few hours off for lunch and then work again a few hours in the afternoon, often coming home around 3-4pm!! I could have smacked him but i was too exhausted to even do so...

SanHawaii08

aww, hang in there lisa!  you ARE a supermom - and Ben's almost home!  after this, you can handle anything!  

my vent is that MH is turning into a total slob, i'm constantly picking up after him.  like moving his dirty dishes from on the counter 3 ft away from the sink, to into the sink.  he doesn't even have to wash the dishes b/c i do it!  but don't leave your dirty plate sitting around getting crusty, which only makes my job harder!    even he's asking me when we can get a housecleaner again - it forces him to pick up after himself at regular intervals.  (erm, hello, i am the housecleaner right now - so you should be picking up after yourself anyway!)  I cannot wait until someone comes next week...

true story - this morning - i wake up, go downstairs, see baby bargains sitting on the floor a few feet away from where MH is sitting on the couch.  i roll my eyes in my head (i certainly didn't leave it there!) pick it up, and put it back on the table.  as i'm walking away, MH goes, "erm, you're stepping on a spider..."  wtf.  seriously?  you used the book to smash a spider, and then just LEFT IT THERE?!!!  maybe you could have said something when I picked up the book?  or before I stepped on the smashed spider?  ...or better yet - wait - maybe you could have cleaned up the spider (and the book) and put the book back where it belongs!!  ...thanks hon. 

...now, hours later, it's kinda funny.  haha.  but it was NOT funny this morning!

redshoegirl

Thanks ladies - I'm so glad I have you all for encouragement! 'Cause I definitely need it this week lol.

Tina, I hope Maya will settle down a bit when Josh is done with exams (when does he finish)?

Malia, oh no! Does she definitely have pink eye?

Lori, I hope you guys feel better soon! I'm soooo not looking forward to the first cold the boys get...

cecig, that's rough! Having Ben away is hard, but I think it would be even worse to have him there and not only unable to do anything, but having to take care of him, too!

Jaime, yeah, I'd have been annoyed too. I mean, I can understand where Brent is coming from, but sometimes you have to suck it up, you know?

SirenSong

Oh Jaime, that is unfair of your H. He IS aware that you don't just decide to 'switch off' from being a parent right? That, even if you've worked 19 days in a row or if you're sick, you actually don't just 'quit' being a parent for awhile until you're ready to come back to it.

YOU'RE exhausted, YOU work long days, why is he a-ok with YOU carrying his weight when it comes to parenting. 

Grrrrr, I'm sorry but I find that attitude maddening. He needs to realize that parenting is a two-parent job (in a two parent household, that is).

ETA: Actually, Lisa said it perfectly lol. He needs to suck it up and get on with it!

SirenSong

Lisa, his exam is this Monday. It's a 3 hour doozy.

Then, he starts his MBA in November (pretty sure it's November anyway).

redshoegirl

SirenSong:

Oh Jaime, that is unfair of your H. He IS aware that you don't just decide to 'switch off' from being a parent right? That, even if you've worked 19 days in a row or if you're sick, you actually don't just 'quit' being a parent for awhile until you're ready to come back to it.

YOU'RE exhausted, YOU work long days, why is he a-ok with YOU carrying his weight when it comes to parenting. 

Grrrrr, I'm sorry but I find that attitude maddening. He needs to realize that parenting is a two-parent job (in a two parent household, that is).

ETA: Actually, Lisa said it perfectly lol. He needs to suck it up and get on with it!

Heh, and here I was going to say that Tina said it perfectly. 

This really is exactly it, though. For example, I know that right now I stay home, but I work 24 hour days - Ben only works 8 hours. That means that sometimes I basically say "sack up, ho!" when he starts whining about being tired from working - because you know what? I'm tired too, because I only got 4 hours of sleep for the last three nights, one of the boys has been screaming all afternoon, the cat puked on the couch, there's a neverending pile of laundry, I have a migraine tiptoeing on the edge of my brain, etc etc. I can't switch off Parent Mode just because I don't feel like dealing with it, and neither can he.

So yes, Brent worked 19 days in a row, but so did you - yours were just both at work AND at home, and you worked for longer hours.

SanHawaii08

redshoegirl:

SirenSong:

Oh Jaime, that is unfair of your H. He IS aware that you don't just decide to 'switch off' from being a parent right? That, even if you've worked 19 days in a row or if you're sick, you actually don't just 'quit' being a parent for awhile until you're ready to come back to it.

YOU'RE exhausted, YOU work long days, why is he a-ok with YOU carrying his weight when it comes to parenting. 

Grrrrr, I'm sorry but I find that attitude maddening. He needs to realize that parenting is a two-parent job (in a two parent household, that is).

ETA: Actually, Lisa said it perfectly lol. He needs to suck it up and get on with it!

Heh, and here I was going to say that Tina said it perfectly. 

This really is exactly it, though. For example, I know that right now I stay home, but I work 24 hour days - Ben only works 8 hours. That means that sometimes I basically say "sack up, ho!" when he starts whining about being tired from working - because you know what? I'm tired too, because I only got 4 hours of sleep for the last three nights, one of the boys has been screaming all afternoon, the cat puked on the couch, there's a neverending pile of laundry, I have a migraine tiptoeing on the edge of my brain, etc etc. I can't switch off Parent Mode just because I don't feel like dealing with it, and neither can he.

So yes, Brent worked 19 days in a row, but so did you - yours were just both at work AND at home, and you worked for longer hours.

  to all of the above!

mrspresley

redshoegirl:

SirenSong:

Oh Jaime, that is unfair of your H. He IS aware that you don't just decide to 'switch off' from being a parent right? That, even if you've worked 19 days in a row or if you're sick, you actually don't just 'quit' being a parent for awhile until you're ready to come back to it.

YOU'RE exhausted, YOU work long days, why is he a-ok with YOU carrying his weight when it comes to parenting. 

Grrrrr, I'm sorry but I find that attitude maddening. He needs to realize that parenting is a two-parent job (in a two parent household, that is).

ETA: Actually, Lisa said it perfectly lol. He needs to suck it up and get on with it!

Heh, and here I was going to say that Tina said it perfectly. 

This really is exactly it, though. For example, I know that right now I stay home, but I work 24 hour days - Ben only works 8 hours. That means that sometimes I basically say "sack up, ho!" when he starts whining about being tired from working - because you know what? I'm tired too, because I only got 4 hours of sleep for the last three nights, one of the boys has been screaming all afternoon, the cat puked on the couch, there's a neverending pile of laundry, I have a migraine tiptoeing on the edge of my brain, etc etc. I can't switch off Parent Mode just because I don't feel like dealing with it, and neither can he.

So yes, Brent worked 19 days in a row, but so did you - yours were just both at work AND at home, and you worked for longer hours.

I think that is the problem - he does not see me staying at home as "working" so even though I only work 2-3 days a week, he thinks that I have more than enough time to "rest" on the days that I am at home.  it's kind of the same issue we come across over and over again (no matter how much we talk about it)...i have just come to accept it (for the most part) and just don't get angry about it anymore... but when I am exhausted and it's the middle of the night and I know I have to get up and go to work it's particularly infuriating and frustrating!!