NTR: wedding gift question — The Bump
Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

NTR: wedding gift question

We have a wedding gift sitting in our garage for one of DH's friends/roommates from college who got married a year and a half ago.  They had a destination wedding while I was pregnant and we couldn't afford to go, so we instead got them a fairly expensive wedding gift.  We bought it SEVERAL months before their wedding and tried to give it to them a few times before and now a few times after and haven't been able to get it to them.  (They were pretty upset that we didn't go to the wedding, but it was going to be $5000 plus taking time of work for both DH and I to go since it was on a Monday.)  

This friend lives in the town that DH and I went to school in, and now we live in a different state so there are limited opportunities that we have to get it to them.  We had the gift stored at DH's parents house (in our college town) and every time we would go back we would try to catch up with them to give the gift but every time the flake out on us, and say the house is too much of a mess for us to just drop it by.  Anyway, last time DH's parents came to visit they brought the present with them, not knowing what it was or why it was at their house.  

So now I don't know what to do.  We bought this gift almost 2 years ago, and haven't actually seen them in person since (I think the wife doesn't like my DH).  We are going back in October, but it's a big gift and I'm not sure we'll have room to transport it there (and possibly back if they flake on us again).  So what do I do?  Unwrap it and try to sell it on CL?  Do we just give them the cash that I sell it for?   Should we try to give it to them again?  

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Re: NTR: wedding gift question

  • Sell it and keep the cash obviously they havent been concerned.
  • Mail it to them. Easy peasy. Sure-- you'll have to pay for shipping, but it will be less of a headache.
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  • I want to know what the gift is! If they can't be bothered to visit with you, I say keep the gift/cash. Surprise

  • image christin3580:
    Sell it and keep the cash obviously they havent been concerned.

     this.

  • If it were me, I'd give it up as a lost cause. Unwrap it, sell it, use the money for something for your family (Christmas funds are always good). After this long, if it was something they really wanted, they've likely gotten it for themselves anyway. 

    Besides, what happens if you lug the gift back with you in Oct. and they flake out again? You going to lug it back home and then sell it? Or sell it now and then try to give them an envelope of cash? Just seems kinds silly after so long. 

      

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  • image Sage Mommy:

    I want to know what the gift is! 

    It's just a nice toaster oven with toaster oven sized pans, plus other random stuff from their registry (I think we spent like $150).  The guy is a huge video gamer and he and DH used to LIVE on microwave pizzas, and when DH discovered the joys of a toaster oven he knew his friend would love it.  But it's BIG-when we bought it at BBB they just put it in their biggest bag and tied it up for wrapping.  

    I have been considering just giving up, but feel sort of bad that ultimately it ends up that we didn't get them anything.  But at the same time, it kind of sucks that the reason is because they won't meet up with us ever.    

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  • If they still have it at BBB try to return it! Even without the receipt they'll just give you store credit. 2 years is way too long to worry about it!
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  • image christin3580:
    Sell it and keep the cash obviously they havent been concerned.

     

    Id do this. haha just curious what it is that it couldnt be mailed or something ?

    They dont sound like very understanding or greatful friends its been so long id forget about bothering with them and try to sell it or find someone else who could use it and give it to them.

  • image Kflie83:
    If they still have it at BBB try to return it! Even without the receipt they'll just give you store credit. 2 years is way too long to worry about it!

     

    I like this idea too!

  • Thanks for the feedback ladies.  I was ready to sell it/return it too, but wasn't sure if that was too mean/rude.  I just feel like we've tried too many times, so enough is enough.  I feel bad though, but whatever.  Thanks for the reassurance though ladies!
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  • image Mama2S-K-M:

    image christin3580:
    Sell it and keep the cash obviously they havent been concerned.

     this.

    I agree.

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  • Those times that you tried to see them, could they have still been upset that you didn't come to the wedding, so they were making excuses to not see you?  I think I would have either mailed it or just left it on their doorstep and been done with it ages ago but at this point it is probably a lost cause.   
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  • image aajfoster:
    Those times that you tried to see them, could they have still been upset that you didn't come to the wedding, so they were making excuses to not see you?  I think I would have either mailed it or just left it on their doorstep and been done with it ages ago but at this point it is probably a lost cause.   

    That's actually what I think happened.  But I don't think there's much we can do about that-they planned a really inconvenient wedding (In the Cayman Islands on a Monday) and we just couldn't do it.  They had to know planning it like that some people wouldn't be able to make it.  

    Mailing it was out of the question-the thing is bigger than a laundry basket, and they moved to a house out in the country and said it was too complicated to give directions to for us to drop it off.  So at this point I figure their loss.  

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