Daycare Vent :( (long)

lindseychase06

So Owen started a home daycare on Thursday. The lady has many years of experience and came highly reccomended. So I had high hopes. We went and visited her several times before he started and I was very happy with everything I had seen.

So, day 1, I get a call 4 hours after drop off that she is sick (shingles) and shouldn't be around infants for 48 hrs. so I go get him and husband stays home Friday with him. I was told he didn't nap and was fussy the whole time.

Day 2 , I arrive and hear how he screamed all day and she pretty much had to hold him all day. He wouldn't nap.

Day 3, I come in and he is content in an exersacer, so I think he has had a better day. But no, she tells me how he screamed all day, no matter what they did with him. Said he only slept for an hour, in her husband's arms (he helps her out sometimes when he isn't working). He spit up all day. She continued on to tell me how his screaming caused kids to not be able to nap, him eating too frequently pushed back her lunch schedule because she had to feed him again. (she apparently thinks I feed him too often and too much, but can't tell me how to spread out the feedings). She said she didn't know what she would do if her husband hadn't been there to hand him off to because she had to take care of the other kids too.

I didn't know what to tell her, everything she said was opposite of my kid. He is a very happy, smiley child who doesn't cry often (mainly when overtired.) I started bawling when I got in my car. She spent that time telling me how my 4 month old made their day difficult. No positive, no good stuff. And I didn't know what to tell her, since he is not like that at home. Now we have the dilema of should we stay with them and see if things calm down, or look elsewhere. I know he needs adjustment time, but she made me feel like crap today, and I don't like that. It may just not be a good fit for us.

Thanks for letting me vent!

robinsokj

It sounds like shes in over her head

ASmallWonder

robinsokj:

It sounds like shes in over her head

It could be this.  But it could also be that your at home angel is having a hard time adjusting.  And that means he'll likely have trouble adjusting anywhere and even more so if you move him around.  Could you stick it out for a few more days and see if he settles in?  Aiden didn't sleep well at day care at first but he does great now and it's only his second week.  GL  

MomOfClaire

robinsokj:

It sounds like shes in over her head

Exactly what I was thinking.

lindseychase06

elmoali:

robinsokj:

It sounds like shes in over her head

It could be this.  But it could also be that your at home angel is having a hard time adjusting.  And that means he'll likely have trouble adjusting anywhere and even more so if you move him around.  Could you stick it out for a few more days and see if he settles in?  Aiden didn't sleep well at day care at first but he does great now and it's only his second week.  GL  

I know he needs an adjusting period, I expected that. What I didn't expect was to be told every day how my child is causing their whole day to be off (in a very negative tone). I just got a really bad vibe from the lady, like that if it continues this way he may not be able to stay.

I would feel completely different if she had been like " its been difficult, but we are working on it. or , I know its a tough transition but (insert positve thought). She just complained today for 10 min. how difficult my usually calm child was and was expecting me to have some magical explanation on how to fix it. My suggestion, spend a little time with him. He isn't high maintence, but he does need a little attention, mainly just to settle down for a nap.

But I also agree, I think she is in over her head, she has 5 under the age of 3.

Jacobs Mommy

robinsokj:

It sounds like shes in over her head

This. I would not want to leave my child with someone who complains about him on a daily basis. He is an infant and infants cry. Period. While I believe she should let you know that your LO had a difficult day, she should not do it in a way that upsets you so much. She is a DAYCARE PROVIDER & she is not informing you about your LOs day, she is COMPLAINING about your LO daily.

I don't know your situation but I would start looking for another daycare if at all possible.

Hope everything gets better for you!

danto

Can you spend a day with him at DC and see what's what?

lindseychase06

danto:

Can you spend a day with him at DC and see what's what?

I would love to spend time with him there just to see what goes on, but I'm a teacher at the beginning of the year, no time. Everytime I get there he is very calm and seems happy. I think what is going on is she is expecting when it comes to nap time she can just lay him down and walk away. I told her if she winds him down at certain times (he works like clockwork) that he will sleep, maybe fuss a little, but he does fall asleep. I don't know what's going on that he's screaming all day supposedly.

And I agree, I want to know what is going on, esp. if he's having a difficult day. But there is a big difference between telling me he screamed all day and just had a rough time napping and telling me that "he had to eat AGAIN so I had to push back everyone else's lunch" and "I have another baby that needs to be bottle fed, I can't hold him all day."(he is a very independent child at home)  or "No one napped because of him today"

Jessica424

I would switch.  My in home daycare provider is so positive all the time.  She loves my boys, even when they are difficult, and I can always tell that.  She usually just raves about how cute/smart/funny they were when I go to pick them up.  My older boy talks about how she loves him and he loves her all the time.  She certainly lets me know about problems, but she never asks for me to fix them for her. We brainstorm together on what to do.  She has made me feel so much better about leaving my kids while I work because I know how much they love her.  It also is nice for me to have someone neutral (not family) to talk to about my kids and what is going on with them.

kwinters87

It sounds like this isn't just a good fit for your little one (who is completely adorable btw) because she does seem really overwhelmed.  Is she an older lady?  So I'd keep him there for now until you found a new dc option.

Lauren9881

danto:

Can you spend a day with him at DC and see what's what?

Ooh, good suggestion! I would probablly start looking for another place personally. Sounds like she is in over her head, and not really exhibiting the patience you would hope for in a provider caring for infants. But, if you could go visit for a day maybe you could pick up on something that might be triggering or overstimulating your baby.

lindseychase06

kwinters87:

It sounds like this isn't just a good fit for your little one (who is completely adorable btw) because she does seem really overwhelmed.  Is she an older lady?  So I'd keep him there for now until you found a new dc option.

Thank you I agree, I don't think its a good fit for him. I will give it a little more time, but its definitely her attitude that bothers me. I agree with what others say, I want it to be a more positive thing, it should feel more loving. My sister can watch him if we decide to change, until we find a new place. I will give it until the end of the week, and see how I feel then. My husband will be going to pick him up tomorrow so I'll see what kind of vibe he gets from her.

Starfish113

Go with your gut!! I'd try to find another place..

northhillsbride

lindseychase06:

elmoali:

robinsokj:

It sounds like shes in over her head

It could be this.  But it could also be that your at home angel is having a hard time adjusting.  And that means he'll likely have trouble adjusting anywhere and even more so if you move him around.  Could you stick it out for a few more days and see if he settles in?  Aiden didn't sleep well at day care at first but he does great now and it's only his second week.  GL  

I know he needs an adjusting period, I expected that. What I didn't expect was to be told every day how my child is causing their whole day to be off (in a very negative tone). I just got a really bad vibe from the lady, like that if it continues this way he may not be able to stay.

I would feel completely different if she had been like " its been difficult, but we are working on it. or , I know its a tough transition but (insert positve thought). She just complained today for 10 min. how difficult my usually calm child was and was expecting me to have some magical explanation on how to fix it. My suggestion, spend a little time with him. He isn't high maintence, but he does need a little attention, mainly just to settle down for a nap.

But I also agree, I think she is in over her head, she has 5 under the age of 3.

Go back and re-read this. I think you answered your own question...

ecu1995

I am so sorry that you are having problems, it is heartbreaking to think that your lo cries all day long when they are happy and smiley when they are with you!  My lo is at a group center which we love, but it still breaks my heart to know if he has a bad day!

have you had a heart to heart talk with her?  maybe you will feel better if you do, if not, i would start looking for a new center.

lmpdjc

I wouldn't appreciate her negativity, either.  It's ok to tell you about the day your baby had, good or bad, but it sounds like she was a biotch about it.  As an experienced daycare provider, she should be used to dealing with parents, as well as babies.  Any nitwit knows that a parent will get defensive when approached like that.

It sounds to me like it's time to find a more caring provider.

lindseychase06

I didn't have anyone to leave him with today so he went again, but a totally different experience. I'm still on the fence and think we're giving it till the end of the week and then telling her we are finding a new place.