Probably just lost a friend but... FU to CIO post from yest.

delphinus12

She was getting the worst advice from people saying "well there's nothing you can do, just let them cry, they will figure it out, etc."

I responded yesterday with some suggestions but had to reply again after reading the others' replies:

 I think what Jacqueline is talking about is "crying it out" method- which I think is intended for much older babies. We have just started letting Sarah cry it out for short periods recently. Young babies need to know that you are there so they can learn to trust- even if it means that you are just holding them while they are throwing a fit. I know it is hard on mommy
Sarah was the same way when she got overtired. We had a lightbulb moment one day when I realized she really couldn't be awake for more than about an hour (at Cadence's age) at a time before needing another nap. Once I realized this and started rocking her to sleep before she got out of control overtired it was like night and day. She was so much happier when awake and slept so much better!
I'm sure you probably are overwhelmed with others' advice right now but if you have any questions or anything, please message me!

delphinus12

Oh, and to clarify from yesterday- she was definitely not just setting the baby down for a second to take a breather. The baby was screaming and she felt bad and couldn't listen to it so she took a shower and when she was done the baby was asleep.

purplecrayon

Why do you think you lost her as a friend?  Seemed like a very nice & helpful repsonse to me.

delphinus12

purplecrayon:

Why do you think you lost her as a friend?  Seemed like a very nice & helpful repsonse to me.

I hope I didn't! But I don't know how she will respond to my advice. I Hopefully she won't think I am judging or criticizing her... I know how hard it is to be a new mom!

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VampyAuthor

purplecrayon:

Why do you think you lost her as a friend?  Seemed like a very nice & helpful repsonse to me.

Very much this. It was a helpful response, I think.

MCC1010

FB isn't the bump. Just because someone puts something on thier status it doesn't mean that they want your opinion. If she had asked you directly then fine. You could have just said - I went through something similar. Call me if you want to talk. Otherwise you come across as preachy and as a know it all IMO

Peony81

purplecrayon:

Why do you think you lost her as a friend?  Seemed like a very nice & helpful repsonse to me.

This, I thought it was a very nice response. 

delphinus12

MCC1010:

FB isn't the bump. Just because someone puts something on thier status it doesn't mean that they want your opinion. If she had asked you directly then fine. You could have just said - I went through something similar. Call me if you want to talk. Otherwise you come across as preachy and as a know it all IMO

See *this* is what I am afraid of. But in this case I guess I'm willing to risk her feeling that way about me. She was getting bad advice from others so I felt like I couldn't sit back and do nothing.

And alternatively, i would suggest that you kind of know what to expect of you post something as your status on FB. If you don't want others' opinions or advice then maybe think twice about posting it.

ToledoDeux

MCC1010:

FB isn't the bump. Just because someone puts something on thier status it doesn't mean that they want your opinion. If she had asked you directly then fine. You could have just said - I went through something similar. Call me if you want to talk. Otherwise you come across as preachy and as a know it all IMO

Bullshiit.  The internet is the internet.  If you don't want opinions about something, keep it to yourself.

Plus - if other people were giving bad CIO advice, they should see the response as well.  I think OP did the right thing, and handled it nicely.

jill_aitoro7

ToledoDeux:

MCC1010:

FB isn't the bump. Just because someone puts something on thier status it doesn't mean that they want your opinion. If she had asked you directly then fine. You could have just said - I went through something similar. Call me if you want to talk. Otherwise you come across as preachy and as a know it all IMO

Bullshiit.  The internet is the internet.  If you don't want opinions about something, keep it to yourself.

Plus - if other people were giving bad CIO advice, they should see the response as well.  I think OP did the right thing, and handled it nicely.

 

emilysmommy2010

If she is putting it on facebook then she should expect people to comment on it. If she didn't want people to comment then she shouldn't make it common knowledge. I think what your wrote was fine. You gave advice in a nice way. 

eileen32

I think what you wrote was very diplomatic and helpful, and not at all judgey Have a FB friend who "Ferberized" her 10 week old before going back to work.  She is an awesome mother, but where she lives, a smaller town where people grow up and stay...not a lot of new blood in that town, it is more accepted to let your newborn CIO.  I could not think of a response that would not come off as judgey when she posted her 10 week old CIO for 90 minutes the first night. You did good!

Edit: Oh and  her "Ferberizing"  meant left baby to CIO until baby fell asleep...*cringe*

MelonieK

eileen32:

I think what you wrote was very diplomatic and helpful, and not at all judgey Have a FB friend who "Ferberized" her 10 week old before going back to work.  She is an awesome mother, but where she lives, a smaller town where people grow up and stay...not a lot of new blood in that town, it is more accepted to let your newborn CIO.  I could not think of a response that would not come off as judgey when she posted her 10 week old CIO for 90 minutes the first night. You did good!

Edit: Oh and  her "Ferberizing"  meant left baby to CIO until baby fell asleep...*cringe*

This makes me want to puke.