Can I vent about my friend real quick?

AbJams

Ok, it probably won't be that quick. One of my best friends moved to a town about 4 hours away 3 years ago. For awhile we stayed in good contact, and saw each other a few times a year. Well, starting shortly before I got pregnant, she started coming to town more to see another of her friends. She would tell me she was in town, but I kind of felt like she was just letting me tag along to their plans. Then I got pregnant. Well, I'm not gonna tag along to a smokey bar to watch other people get drunk, so I didn't see her for like, my whole pregnancy. We had lunch when I was like, 18 weeks. That was it. So my daughter is now 3 months old. Over this Summer this friend has been in town multiple times. One of those times she was supposed to come over and she never called me. I saw on FB that she was going to be in town again this weekend, so I finally said it to her via text... it's starting to hurt my feelings how often you come to town to see your other friends and never me. So she calls me, and says that I never call her and she talks to them every day. And you know what? She's right. I never call her. I am not a phone person, and I just don't need to talk to someone every day to know they are my friend. But I do need them to come to my baby shower. Or stop over for 20 minutes and meet my daughter before running off to the party. But she is right that I am not a good phone communicator and I could've been more proactive. But then she says "I feel like I put alot in and didn't get anything out." Uh. no. It's not like she has called me either. So she's coming into town this weekend and she says we should get lunch or something and I really wanted to be like, don't go out of your way trying to insert me into your busy schedule! But, I really do want to see her, and she's the maid of honor in a wedding so she really does have a busy schedule. It is entirely possible that I am just a bad friend who is getting what she deserves, but it stings so badly every time I see that she's coming into town and hasn't even told me.

star173

You both have different ideas as to what "putting in" means. See her. She's your friend...she feels the same way you do it sounds like, but for different reasons. Use the conversation you guys had to work on what she wants- call her more. She may also find it harder to hang out with you if you guys are in such different places (it sounds like she doesn't have kids). Just make the effort, see if she returns it, and things should be fine.

ps- DS was born on my birthday too!

KRMac

I hate talking on the phone, always have.  I used to put up with talking to my friends on the phone when I had a long commute, but the thought of spending precious minutes on the phone now instead of spending time with DS annoys me...as does spending precious post-bedtime minutes, hahaha.  

My priorities have shifted because I'm greedy with my free time now.  But if we are all in the same location, I love to see them and catch up in person.