Intro - 3yo DD w/ ASD
I've been lurking off and on for the past few weeks and have finally decided to out myself. Our daughter was diagnosed close to a month ago with ASD and while I oddly felt a huge sense of relief that her behavior wasn't solely a reflection of my parenting, I now find myself grieving the NT child I thought we had - as selfish as that probably sounds. I just feel so raw with emotion and unprepared to fight what already seems like a long and never ending battle with the Special School District, therapists, etc.
Everyone keeps telling me to just "be the squeaky wheel" which definitely isn't my personality, but for my daughter I will squeak to the best of my ability! We have her in OT and Speech tx since May and just started preschool twice a week (in a class full of typically developing children - 20 kids to two teachers. Soooo, not the ratio my daughter needs at the moment!) Right now we're trying to get her placed in a more appropriate classroom which the SSD seems to be dragging their feet on even though we had her pre-screened back in the Spring. Luckily, we are very blessed to have an amazing OT who, after raising my concerns with her about Ava seeming "out of sorts" and regressing since beginning school, has offered to push into her class and give her teacher some tips and guidance on what Ava needs. I'm not sure how the teacher will take that, but at this point I don't really care. The curriculum is "child-led" and currently Ava does not participate in any of the structured art projects or activities and instead chooses to sit in the corner and play with animals by herself. Of course she wants to immerse herself in her own little world, isn't that the crux of ASD?
Sorry to vent in my intro, how tacky of me! I started typing and the emotional flood gates busted open! I just feel like I'm really struggling mentally and emotionally and I keep hoping that it's just part of the grieving process and that eventually I'll move onto being the best advocate I can for my daughter without feeling so emotionally raw after every encounter, good or bad.
Aside from what's going on with my daughter, I also find myself scrutinizing every.single.thing my son does and comparing it to Ava as a baby. Is this normal? I feel like I'm being driven by this irrational fear that he will be on the spectrum as well when at this point it isn't even really a valid concern. As much as I know that I just can't seem to move past it and it's driving me insane. Please tell me I'm not the only one who has had these sorts of thought cross their mind . . .
Thanks for enduring my saga if you made it this far, it really seems like a great support system of moms here!
Re: Intro - 3yo DD w/ ASD
Just sending you some hugs...I've found that everyone on here is really supportive - they're all my go to girls whenever I feel a little bit (or a lot) blah. In fact, I am ramping up to post a vent in a few minutes myself.
Sending love your way...you are an awesome mommy, even if you may not feel like it sometimes.
Hi there, and welcome.
This board is very helpful and the ladies are great. No drama here
You will go through all kinds of emotions after the diagnosis, and it is OK. It will take a while to come to terms with the ds, but some days are better than others.
My only advice is to take a breather once in a while and make time for yourself. This is a marathon.
Good to have you here!!