MIL is drivng me NUTS. (Long)

AdamsMom4

Warning: This is going to come off as incredibly snotty.

 

I want DS to have new things. My MIL buys him stuff all the time from Goodwill and consignment shops and it bothers me. She bought this front facing carseat  at a yard sale that looks like it sat in someone's yard for 5 years and went through 4 kids before that. Who knows if it's been in an accident or recalled. She also bought a stroller that she will never need. That's why WE bought a travel system!I swear she's a hoarder.

This weekend, she's been dragging DH's baby toys and clothes out of their shop. Apparently, she's going to turn DH's old bedroom into a nursery/guest room. I'll believe it when I see it. Right now it's full of JUNK.  She's even making BIL repair their old crib for LO to sleep in while he's there.

DH mentioned to me yesterday that she found a winter hat and gloves and a coat in his old clothes. N.O. NO! My child is going to wear his own clothes, not his dad's hand me downs from the 80s. We have enough money to buy DS clothes...promise. I'm sorry for the whiny-ness...but I had to get this out.

punkfiction_v.3

not snotty. i agree.

Melly Mel

I am totally with you on this. I know that a lot of people shop at Goodwill, but I don't and I wouldn't feel comfortable using things that were purchased there. I also want things to be new for DD. We have the means to provide for her so I enjoy giving her all we can. Is there a way that you can tell DH to talk to her about this? She is basically wasting her money if you are not using the things she is buying.

punkfiction_v.3

oh - and let me say - you can be a stellar consignment shopper. some of those clothes still have tags on them (and ive given some with tags on before). but i understand what you mean

megann831

I think it might be because it's your MIL.  My mom gave me a dress she kept from when I was a baby for DD, I thought it was really sweet.  My aunt gave my mom a high chair, stroller, and some little kid seats my mom had given to her, a hand-me-down from my and my sister to my cousin.  I really don't know why my aunt kept this stuff for over 20 years, but again, its sweet

kwinters87

I can understand not wanting old outdated equipment.  The old clothes you can take, let DS wear them for pictures and then hide them in the back of a closet just to make her happy.

I love my resale/consignment shops though (maybe that's because their picky about what they bring in) I do understand not wanting to shop at goodwill, I view that as stuff for people who really need it and we make enough to shop elsewhere so I don't use goodwill.

IrishBrideND

kwinters87:

I can understand not wanting old outdated equipment.  The old clothes you can take, let DS wear them for pictures and then hide them in the back of a closet just to make her happy.

I love my resale/consignment shops though (maybe that's because their picky about what they bring in) I do understand not wanting to shop at goodwill, I view that as stuff for people who really need it and we make enough to shop elsewhere so I don't use goodwill.

eh. goodwill wants people to come in, no matter how much you make. Their mission is to sell items and then use the money to help others. THeir mission isn't to provide those initial items to the needy. Thats a revenue stream for them.

kwinters87

IrishBrideND:

kwinters87:

I can understand not wanting old outdated equipment.  The old clothes you can take, let DS wear them for pictures and then hide them in the back of a closet just to make her happy.

I love my resale/consignment shops though (maybe that's because their picky about what they bring in) I do understand not wanting to shop at goodwill, I view that as stuff for people who really need it and we make enough to shop elsewhere so I don't use goodwill.

eh. goodwill wants people to come in, no matter how much you make. Their mission is to sell items and then use the money to help others. THeir mission isn't to provide those initial items to the needy. Thats a revenue stream for them.

Hmm, I never looked at it that way, thanks for the different perspective!

amykins1283

If you don't feel comfortable with secondhand items then that is your prerogative.  Even though I do shop secondhand for a lot of DS' stuff I would feel uncomfortable with items like car seats and cribs simply because of safety issues.

On the flip side, I get some awesome stuff at consignment shops.  DS has a lot of really nice outfits from the Children's Place, Gymboree, Ralph Lauren, and Baby Gap that I got for $2 or $3 apiece.  I get compliments on his outfits all the time. I also have gotten him some great toys secondhand.  You might look into some consignment shops in your area just to see what you can find.

amykins1283

IrishBrideND:

kwinters87:

I can understand not wanting old outdated equipment.  The old clothes you can take, let DS wear them for pictures and then hide them in the back of a closet just to make her happy.

I love my resale/consignment shops though (maybe that's because their picky about what they bring in) I do understand not wanting to shop at goodwill, I view that as stuff for people who really need it and we make enough to shop elsewhere so I don't use goodwill.

eh. goodwill wants people to come in, no matter how much you make. Their mission is to sell items and then use the money to help others. THeir mission isn't to provide those initial items to the needy. Thats a revenue stream for them.

Definitely!  The Goodwill near me is really close to an upscale area so the stuff there is actually really nice.  I buy a lot of my blazers for work there since nice jackets are so expensive.  I also find great stuff for my classroom there.  I'm getting a bargain and they are getting money to help their cause.  

MCC1010

I love thrift stores and have no problem with 2nd hand clothing and certain items. My in-laws save everything and are always trying to pass off junk to us. Things like an old wooden highchair from the 40's or stuffed animals from the 70's. While I understand it is the thought that counts I am not going to give my baby a stuffed animal that has been sitting in a humid nasty garage for 30 years just to make them happy. MIL tried to get me to use a crib she had from when she was little. It was a toy crib, wooden and lets not even get into the whole paint issue. I would love for her to purchase 2nd hand items that are udesful and not questionable.

CarolinaKatie

Ugh. I don't blame you. And I shop at consignment sales! But I'm the mom, not the grandma and its only GOOD consignment sales, not shops or Goodwill. Both my parents and ILs saved our toys and my son plays with them. But my mom knows what toys are still safe and what are not. MIL does not and I've had to hide some toys she brings out! And my mom had a "kiddie coup" thing kind of like a crib/bassinet that she was smart enough to throw out when my son fell out of it! MIL saved her high chair and we had to use one of FIL's belts to secure DS when he was 1 in it!

 You would die if you saw some of my MIL's outfits that she saved and though they would be so cute for professional pics. Um, no, not putting my SON in some outfit that looks like one of the Brady kids wore it - full of lacey ruffles, velvet, etc. Ugh.

This is why I am not bothering to save anything. My future daughter-in-laws will love me for that!

RadicalDreamer143

I don't think you sound snotty.

Gifts from my mother:

Various Disney toys that belonged to my younger brothers (so 17ish years old).  I dislike Disney, but I could tolerate them if a) they were washed, even once, and b) they weren't ripped up, i.e., Sebastian from The Little Mermaid... missing a claw and a leg.  I totally gave them to my friend to use as dog toys.

A pair of Air Jordans and Converse sneakers for Liam.  Sounds nice right?  Even though I said he won't be wearing shoes till he's walking?  Well, they're also dirty and VERY used... and not even from my little brothers... she got them from her extremely dirty and hick-ish in-laws, who used them through five kids.  Are you freaking kidding me?

COUNTLESS Precious Moments figurines from garage sales.  All trashed, because unlike her, I don't hoard.

AdamsMom4

JamieS2006:

I don't think you sound snotty.

Gifts from my mother:

Various Disney toys that belonged to my younger brothers (so 17ish years old).  I dislike Disney, but I could tolerate them if a) they were washed, even once, and b) they weren't ripped up, i.e., Sebastian from The Little Mermaid... missing a claw and a leg.  I totally gave them to my friend to use as dog toys.

A pair of Air Jordans and Converse sneakers for Liam.  Sounds nice right?  Even though I said he won't be wearing shoes till he's walking?  Well, they're also dirty and VERY used... and not even from my little brothers... she got them from her extremely dirty and hick-ish in-laws, who used them through five kids.  Are you freaking kidding me?

COUNTLESS Precious Moments figurines from garage sales.  All trashed, because unlike her, I don't hoard.

 Me neither. If I keep anything, its in a tote in a closet put away. MIL has a shower she has NEVER used because it's had boxes and flat out crap in it since the day they moved in. My mom kept all of our stuff until I was like 12 and then we had a yard sale and got rid of it. She knew we'd never use it again.