NICU blues

Mrs.Kristen

Has NICU ever made you feel as though you aren't there enough? We aren't there for one maybe two feedings a day, i was just released last night and was back again for a feeding two hours after release. DH feels like we're being judged even though we are there plenty, we also have a two year old. We couldn't do the overnight tonight because they told us about it about four hours ago and we have DS and couldn't do it without knowing ahead of time so they want us to spend the day in NICU tomorrow showing we can feed her etc.....this is with us there for most feedings the last four days minus the day that I was on magnesium and wasn't allowed down to NICU. Most of the nurses aren't like this but there have been a few that make us feel like we aren't doing something right. we had a hard night last night being home without her.

lexismom1008

I'm so sorry that you feel like this. I know how horrible it is to have to leave your LO in the NICU. It is not right for them to make you feel worse than you already do for not being there! It sounds like you have been there plenty to prove you can feed the LO. You shouldn't feel bad about going home. You need to take care of yourself and your 2 year old. Your doing nothing wrong!

Mrs.Kristen

thank you, we look young and aren't (26 and 27) which is how i try to rationalize it in my own mind of why we are feeling this way. I guess we just weren't expecting to be feeling like we aren't doing enough when we know as parents already that we are doing everything right and everything we can possibly do. It's like i said not all of the nurses are this way and we personally know one of the nurses up there who has been awesome with us but there are some nurses who just come off this way to us.

FisMom

26 and 27 is young, but no excuse for treating you badly. One nurse basically treated me like I was a moron and I am in my 30's, though am sometimes mistaken for younger. I was at the hospital twice a day and was told it was a lot because no other parents were there that much.

I am sorry you feel bad. Please don't. We all go through this. You are doing all you can. I hope LO comes home soon.

MariDave01

First congratz on your bundle of joy. I know what you mean by being perceived young, but enjoy it. I know its hard b/c you just gave birth but depending how long your little angel will be there you n your bow could rotate. This way you also get to see how the staff interacrs with your baby and who is more connected. I also just heard of "kangaroo care" (here is a link: https://infant-toddler-health.suite101.com/article.cfm/kangaroo_care_for_baby). Its reported to help premies regulate and thrive. both you and your bow can take turn and show the staff your desire to be connected to your baby. 

Mrs.Kristen

MariDave01:

First congratz on your bundle of joy. I know what you mean by being perceived young, but enjoy it. I know its hard b/c you just gave birth but depending how long your little angel will be there you n your bow could rotate. This way you also get to see how the staff interacrs with your baby and who is more connected. I also just heard of "kangaroo care" (here is a link: https://infant-toddler-health.suite101.com/article.cfm/kangaroo_care_for_baby). Its reported to help premies regulate and thrive. both you and your bow can take turn and show the staff your desire to be connected to your baby. 

 

Thank you for the info, we've actually done this and it helped her regulate her temp. She was borderline with her temp and a nurse suggested this the other night and her temp has been ten times better then prior.

morganore

I had some similar trouble with some nicu nurses...Don't let them make you feel bad...YOU are the mother, that is your child, and no one knows her better than you, even if you can't be up in the NICU 24/7. The nurses are a service there to provide care for your child. Look into speaking to the charge nurse about any problems you are having and ask if you can have a primary nurse for your child. You need to focus on getting yourself back to being healthy and well-rested so that when your baby does come home from the nicu you are ready to take care of her. It is impossible to be in the nicu 24/7...it would be too hard on yourself and not only do you have yourself to take care of but another child, so don't feel bad! You are a great mommy and you are doing the best you can, and don't let anyone else make you feel otherwise!