Advice?

kelsjf

I had a miscarriage in June when I was 9 weeks pregnant.  My dr. gave me the ok to start trying again.  My husband is beyond excited to have a baby.  Me, on the other hand, am terrified.  So scared that I often think I would be ok if I never had a child.  It seems so unnatural to put yourself back into a situation that hurt you the first time.  I am not scared of being a parent.  I am scared of getting pregnant.  I have tried to talk to my husband about this and he keeps suggesting that I go talk to a professional.  He just doesn't know what to do or say.  I don't either.  It has been two months since the D&C and I was doing great.  Until dh sat me down to talk two days ago.  He wanted to talk about trying again.  I have been a mess ever since. He isn't pressuring me at all. 

Stretchad

I understand what you mean. I am terrified of getting pregnant again. But at the same time, at this point in time, my desire for a child is outweighing this fear. 

But, I don't think I got to this place until the last month or so(it's been 5 months since my D&C). I don't think I would have been ready earlier than now. I still get waves of that fear. 

Maybe you just need to give it some more time, and put TTC on hold? There's nothing wrong with that... 

alliejoe

I think it's a normal feeling- I felt the same way.  Just afraid of being pregnant. I agree with the PP about waiting until you feel better about it.  The MW told us to wait to cycles and I was bummed at first, but it was probably a really good thing.

Give yourself some time to heal emotionally and talk to a professional if you think you need to.

GuppyAmy

I agree with pp to wait until your ready. However I also think speaking with a professional isn't a bad idea because if you're not in a good place every bfn is going to send you into a nose dive or if you do get a bfp and something happens you don't want to blame him for making you go through the pain again c

mandy6418

Stretchad:

I understand what you mean. I am terrified of getting pregnant again. But at the same time, at this point in time, my desire for a child is outweighing this fear. 

But, I don't think I got to this place until the last month or so(it's been 5 months since my D&C). I don't think I would have been ready earlier than now. I still get waves of that fear. 

Maybe you just need to give it some more time, and put TTC on hold? There's nothing wrong with that... 

This.

Aniegbuna

I agree that waiting awhile until you feel comfortable is a good idea. While you are waiting it wouldn't hurt for you to speak to someone about your feelings. I did therapy (way before we were TTC because of some issues I needed to work on) and it seriously changed my perspective on life.

Kristin&Adam

I really think that you need to give yourself time to heal.  A miscarriage is not just a physical thing, it is very emotional too.  Talk to your DH, let him know how you're feeling and that you're really not ready yet.  You'll know when you are.  Lots of good thoughts and hugs for you.