I really need some advice..

monj76

 Let me start this off by saying my DS is very intelligent, and does his school work with ease. He is academically advanced for his age and as soon as he is old enough I will have him tested for the G.A.T.E. program. It is his behavior in school that we have a very hard time with.

 In kindergarten, last year, DS got into trouble almost everyday. First it was hitting, then yelling out in class, then some questionable pee fights in the bathroom, and there are more. He got sent to the principals office so many times, I cannot even remember since I stopped counting. We tried everything from positive reinforcement, ignoring the bad behavior, punishing the bad behavior, sending him to the office for lunches and recess...the list really goes on and on. He showed some improvement when we moved him to a new class, and at that same time, we got an IEP. But he was still being disruptive in class, and aggressive at playtime. I talked to his doctor about it, and he prescribed Ritalin. I resisted the meds for a little while till one particularly bad day, my DS told me he was dumb because he couldn't listen. That was the last straw and I gave him the meds the next day.

 The Ritalin worked wonders at school. He stopped most (not all) of his bad behavior, but instead of my sweet son coming home in a good mood like before, a cranky, emotional mess came home in his place. We adjusted his meds and it improved a little, but then Summer came along and I don't like to medicate him if it's not necessary.

 This brings us to the problem. Do I start the year out on meds to make sure his self esteem is not hurt any more, and to make sure we have a good start to the school year? Or should I give the "real" him a try to see if maybe he has matured, and wont act up any more? He does not want to take the medication, I don't want to give it to him. His former teacher advised me to start the year with the meds, because the difference in how he acts in class is very evident when he is on his meds. He sees a counselor once a week for another issue, and I am going to ask him too, but he is on vacation till after school starts.

Eta: I'm leaning toward giving him the meds, even though I dont want to. I am also looking into different types of medications that may not have the side effects that Ritalin has.

clp1027

We dealt with this in Kindergarten too. DS was put on Concerta, which was working, but we couldn't get him to swallow it. We switched to Adderall and that helped a lot. It was a really tough choice. I felt like I was "drugging" my child because we couldn't handle him, but within a couple weeks, he was reading at grade level when he couldn't read at all before. I think he couldn't hold still long enough to learn. After the school year ended, we took him off all meds and let him just be a kid, but he had a really hard time in summer camp. He was very emotional and had panic attacks on a regular basis. We decided not to medicate him for 1st grade and we haven't ever since. He started Taekwondo 5x a week and I think that was enough to take the edge off. We still had a difficult year for 1st grade, but each year has gotten better.

I think each situation is different. As his mother, I think you know best if he needs to be medicated this year or not. I'm sure you'd rather have him unmedicated, but if he needs the meds to be a part of class and learn with the other kids, don't feel guilty about giving it to him. We still have a lot of behavioral issues and outbursts, but it's a work in progress. Good luck!

SassyBookWorm

I also have no idea how to answer your question as a parent. As a nurse, I'd say "Give the meds FIRST, let him adjust to being back in school, then adjust the meds." Take whichever piece of advice you like, or none of them! Utimately, you will make the best decision for your family and that's all that matters!! No matter what you decide to do, you've got my support.  I can't imagine how hard it is, I hope it works out for the best for you and your son!!

neverblushed

I teach secondary school English for kids like your son -- gifted w/ various learning differences, ADHD, or other IEP-worthy diagnoses.  I am not a fan of the "throw meds at every discipline problem and hope it helps" approach that seems to be a favorite of many elementary school teachers.

That being said:

There are many kids for whom Ritalin (or some other med) is not the answer.  But yours isn't one of them!  He clearly benefits from Ritalin, and it helps him perform to his gifted kid potential in school. I say have him start taking it 3 days before school starts and send him to first grade ready to do his best.  If he had a toothache, you'd give him tylenol, right?  My son has chronic seasonal allergies.  He has to take claritin every day from March 1 to June 1, and from September 1 to Thanksgiving -- otherwise, he'll be a sneezy, snotty, eye-watery mess.  I would never think of not giving him claritin.  Why should ritalin be viewed any differently in your son's case?

Also, I would continue to work with your pediatrician, or whoever prescribes the ritalin, to shave down and adjust the dosage amount and timing so that you have maximum benefit with minimum side effects.  A patient doctor and a responsive teacher should be willing to work with you to find exactly the right plan.  I can't tell you how many seventh and eighth graders whose behavior I've been asked to report on over the course of weeks to help parents and doctors figure out when the meds are working.

Good luck!

monj76

Thanks ladies, for all of your valuable advice. I