I have lost all control. They are totally in charge.

CrazeyJaneyR

Things felt like they were getting a little bit in order about a month ago. They were going to bed at around 9, sometimes drowsy but awake in the crib, but mostly still in swings. They were sleeping until 3 or 4 am. Then I started weaning and things have fallen apart. They are up 2 or 3 times a night now, they stay awake after I feed them, freak if I put them in the crib awake. They nap at different time,s refuse to nap together, so ther is literally not one minute that I have to myself, b/c I also have my daughter to care for. I am ready to lose my *** b/c I need sleep. I thought it was supposed to get better?

 

How the hell do I get a nighttime routine when they are screaming during my daughter's nighttime routine? How do i get it all to work together? ? This is insane - bedtime sucks, and it sucks even more knowing that they will be up in a few hours and i'll have to do it all over again.

 

What worked for you? And this is NOT a post for people whose kids STTN at 4 3 months.

shellshavintwins

Around 6 months until just recently we have had trouble after months of our LO's STTN in Newborn Rock and Play bassinettes. They became more mobile and we not comfy anymore in them, but also hated sleeping in there beds. As they start to reach more developmental milestones they will have rough patches. I read "the Sleepeasy solution" and have finally reclaimed some time to myself in the evening. Warning it is a GENTLE form of CIO, but it is working for us here. It takes the guilt out of hearing them cry and is useful for older children as well.

ougrad1

I'm only a few days into it with a 2.5 year old and from 5:00 on I feel like I'm going to lose my mind.

I've decided to give the babies a bath at 9:00 am when my toddler isn't home.  She goes to school from 8:00-noon everyday.  That's going to free up something in the evening.  I'm still thinking about other things I can move to earlier in the day when Emerson isn't here.

I also have a "mother's helper" coming in from 4:30 to 7:30 Monday through Thursday starting in about a week.  

There is no way in HELL I can do this on my own.  I'm not even going to pretend that I can. 

JessBoss

I loved your end note... Haha.

 My twins aren't here yet, but I'm budging in and giving my two cents.

When Will was born, he DID NOT sleep without being held. We definitely tried letting him CIO, but he cried for almost 1 and a half hours once (Gasp! How horrible of me!). It's hard, because while you want them to go to their sleep on their own, your other LO's have to sleep too.

Although it may cause a bad habit to form, is there any way your daughter can move to a room farther away from the babies? This way, you can try and maintain her schedule, and she will not hear the babies. Also, we use a "noise maker" in our house. It's really just a fan/humidifier thing that just makes a lot of noise . This helped block out Will's cries in Cal & Julia's rooms.

I tried not to feed Will anywhere but his room, and he started to "get" that when he was eating, it meant it was time to calm down and go to sleep. We used blackout shades, a "noisemaker", and a rocking chair. Eventually we figured out he had silent reflux.

I know it's not the same with twins...just wanted to share  

joliemariée

I am going through a similar 6mth rough patch with my DD waking to eat after months of sttn, and also being in our room in a PNP after 4 mths in her crib - total insanity and I feel to blame for letting it go this long for fear of waking my DS with her middle of the night shenanigans 

The one thing I can say that we do consistantly and has made bedtime much much more pleasant is go to a 6:30pm bedtime. The babies are ready then and we used to try to stretch it but realized they were alot happier going to bed earlier.  They eat last bottle at 6:15-6:30 and are in bed by 7pm latest. It gives my DH and I at least a few hours of grown-up time. Maybe you could put the twins down earlier and your other child afterwards?

I also do bathtime in the a.m. like ougrad1 said.

 

Good luck - I keep reminding myself everything is just a phase!

CrazeyJaneyR

joliemari?e:

I am going through a similar 6mth rough patch with my DD waking to eat after months of sttn, and also being in our room in a PNP after 4 mths in her crib - total insanity and I feel to blame for letting it go this long for fear of waking my DS with her middle of the night shenanigans 

The one thing I can say that we do consistantly and has made bedtime much much more pleasant is go to a 6:30pm bedtime. The babies are ready then and we used to try to stretch it but realized they were alot happier going to bed earlier.  They eat last bottle at 6:15-6:30 and are in bed by 7pm latest. It gives my DH and I at least a few hours of grown-up time. Maybe you could put the twins down earlier and your other child afterwards?

I also do bathtime in the a.m. like ougrad1 said.

 

Good luck - I keep reminding myself everything is just a phase!

 

What time do they wake up at if they go down that early ,and when do they nap? I am thinking we are keeping hem up too late. They are usually hysterical by the time we get them to sleep at 8:30/9. But they wake up at 5:30am every day, and I'm afraid it will only be worse if I put them down sooner.  

daisybride78

CrazeyJaneyR:

joliemari?e:

I am going through a similar 6mth rough patch with my DD waking to eat after months of sttn, and also being in our room in a PNP after 4 mths in her crib - total insanity and I feel to blame for letting it go this long for fear of waking my DS with her middle of the night shenanigans 

The one thing I can say that we do consistantly and has made bedtime much much more pleasant is go to a 6:30pm bedtime. The babies are ready then and we used to try to stretch it but realized they were alot happier going to bed earlier.  They eat last bottle at 6:15-6:30 and are in bed by 7pm latest. It gives my DH and I at least a few hours of grown-up time. Maybe you could put the twins down earlier and your other child afterwards?

I also do bathtime in the a.m. like ougrad1 said.

 

Good luck - I keep reminding myself everything is just a phase!

 

What time do they wake up at if they go down that early ,and when do they nap? I am thinking we are keeping hem up too late. They are usually hysterical by the time we get them to sleep at 8:30/9. But they wake up at 5:30am every day, and I'm afraid it will only be worse if I put them down sooner.  

I totally agree with the pp on earlier bedtimes.  

 

My 7 month olds go to bed between 7 and 8 and wake up between 6:30 and 7 am. They nap (ideally) from 9-10:30 in the morning and from 2-4ish in the afternoon. If we keep them up much later than 8:00pm, all hell breaks loose! Around here it has been proven over and over again that if they are over tired, they sleep so much worse. I know it seems backwards, but here is an example. If we have a day where one or both of them doesn't nap well, is off their schedule and go to bed late, I can pretty much guarantee that one or both of them will be up throughout the night. However, on the days that they both get a good morning and afternoon nap and are in bed no later than 8, there is a 98% chance that they will both sttn. I know it seems backwards, but good sleep during the day = good sleep at night!

I would recommend starting your bedtime routine around 7:00. Aim to have them in their cribs by 7:30. That way they are not so over tired and melting down. Then you can spend time with your other child and have some time to yourselves too!

Also, try the book Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Twins. That is the best one I've read so far!

Good Luck!  

macchiatto

I don't know if you've read it yet (and obviously we have just the twins) but HSHHC is what really helped us.

I hope they start sleeping better for you soon!

regenab

First I would absolutely go for an earlier bedtime. HSHHC suggests a bedtime starting between 6-8PM starting at 3-4months of age. They earlier the better. At 3 1/2 months when I started working on the girls sleeping 12 hours without getting up to feed anymore we were putting them to bed between 6PM and 6:30.

I used A Baby Sleep Solution by Suzy Giordiano to train my girls. She uses a modified form of CIO and it worked wonders for my girls in getting them to fall asleep on their own because like you I was trying to put them down drowsy but awake so they would learn to put themselves to sleep.

I also suggest for naps you try to mimic as much of your nighttime routine as possible. I used a sound machine playing constant rain in their room at night to help them sleep so I did this during the day as well. I also put up black felt in the upper half of their bedroom windows so it would be darker in their room during the day, more like nighttime. I didn't go as far as putting them in sleep sacks for naps but I did swaddle them from the armpits down letting their arms out like in a sleep sack.

At 6 months my girls were still taking 3 naps a day and I was still following the no more than 2 hours of awake time between naps. If we went longer than 2 hours they became overtired and just melted down, so if you are not doing this I would try this. Since they are getting up at 5:30AM, I would feed them and change them and put them right back down for a nap, it will be like and extension of their overnight sleep, another suggestion from HSHHC. They will probably go back down for at least another hour to hour and a half. This gave me the time to shower, get dressed and eat before they got up for the day.

I also think an earlier bedtime would be good for you because then once they are down you can spend that time with your DD before getting her ready for bed.

I hope things get better for you and they get more into a routine for you.

FL_Katie

Well, I hate to say I had to let them CIO.  My husband travels a lot for work and I pretty much have always had bedtime routine to myself (at least during his travel "season").  In the beginning, they would nurse to sleep and then I would deal with my 2 year old.  Then they got to be about 5 or 6 months old and weren't nursing to sleep and I started with the soothing them in their beds.  Let me tell you how impossible that is when there are 2 and the second you leave one calm and go to the other one, the original one starts screaming again.  Plus, there is the 2 year old wandering around the house.

 

One night I had just had it and I let them cry.  Teague cried for about 45 minutes, Lilah for a half hour and then they were asleep. Every night thereafter it was shorter and altogether only lasted 2 or 3 days.  I was very lucky about that.  And after that (and now) they are EXCELLENT about going to bed.  They talk to each other and play with each other from their separate beds and they are so easy.

 *That was just for the initial go to bed. They woke up to eat in the middle of the night until after their first brthday.  I do not have children that sleep through the night early*

dec13th

I also recommend Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Twins and my kids go to bed at 6:30pm.  They sleep until at least 6 am.  For a while when they were 7 mos old wake up was 5am but TG it is now 6am. 

The book says that if they are melting down late in the day, they are going to bed late.  The books helps you identify the sleepy signs so you get them down for naps before they are over tired.  We call it the sleep window.  If DS missed his sleep window he was a maniac screaming, crying and carrying on so he gets into bed no later than 6:29pm.

I got bedtime under control and then naptimes.

Good Luck and post back if you need us!