I was trolling on an adoption board . . . .

superluper

Not here on the bump, but another place as we're beginning to look into adoption. There was a conversation going on about whether you would adopt a baby when the birth mother has a history of bipolar disorder or depression. Most of the "mothers" there said they would not. Sometimes I just don't understand. 

My diagnosis recently was changed from depression to bipolar disorder II and although it's tough, I graduated with high honors in a really tough field in undergrad, went onto law school and graduated. I'm a kind-hearted person and I give back to the community with countless volunteer hours/week. It makes me feel like I'm not good enough for most of these people. 

I don't know why this got me riled up, I guess it's the same things as other special needs and adoption. I know all people aren't equipped to handle precious darlings who need extra love but it breaks my heart.  

Am I being totally irrational about this?  

Cissi64

Any kind of mental problem scares some people.  My two oldest are adopted. We didn't know but suspected mental issues with the birthmother.  A couple of years ago she contacted me to to tell me that she was bipolar and so was another daughter and  her mother and "you know that stuff is hereditary"  The thing you have to remember is that if you need meds and you take your meds like you are supposed to, you will be more sane that half the world.  Also, just because a bio parent has an issue it doesn't mean that the child will definitely have that issue.  The only problem with having a mental disorder is if you can't or won't get treatment.

ETA: And some people can't deal with others unless they are "perfect". They really just need to grow some sympathy and compassion.

lindsay.lou

Well.

For me, adopting from a mother with that history would be a lot like having a biological child, as I have a family history of depression and bipolar.

 So, yeah it wouldn't stop me.

KristysRedBarn

It's really sad that people feel that way.  They are missing out on some great kids. 

grr_aargh

KristysRedBarn:

It's really sad that people feel that way.  They are missing out on some great kids. 

I agree, wholeheartedly. It seems really sad - because honestly, with good, loving, and involved parents (what those kids NEEEEEEED. Well, what all kids need, but some more than others), those kids would have a great life ahead of them. And bring so much joy to their parents.

triple_sevens

I have an anxiety disorder and a history of depression and mental illness in my family...and I'm pretty awesome, if I say so myself.

But I will say that one of my closest friends recently was diagnosed as bipolar (after 15 years of therapy and psychopharmaceuticals). She says that this has made her question whether she ever wants biological children. But there's a lot at play in that decision, obviously.

And it would not affect my adoption decisions.

Orchard27

lindsay.lou:

Well.

For me, adopting from a mother with that history would be a lot like having a biological child, as I have a family history of depression and bipolar.

 So, yeah it wouldn't stop me.

this for me too.