Responded to Brinlee's blog

Purrrfect433

Apparently, I am foolish and ignorant. DD has NOTHING to do with their ability to parent. I guess they just break out the 'ol copy of To Train Up A Child to justify beating the shiit out of their kids? How do they really separate the two forms of demanding obedience from both their wives and children? It never spills over to the kids? And, it IS about sex. Have you seen the avatars for some of the supporting comments? Many of the blogs have "adult content" warnings before you enter them. It takes all kinds, I guess?

Zenya

It's NMS but it's just kink. No different than other kink people get into behind closed doors.  I wouldn't assume that it would affect her parenting TBH.

Of course I also don't believe a word of it.  I mean I'm sure they're into it but she sure as hell doesn't look like that! 

eclaires

I really don't get why they pretend it's not sexual at all.  Or at least the people in the first link - I haven't dug too deeply in the other blogs.

It's just odd to me that they're pretending it's something other than what it very obviously is.

And LOL @ zenya - I'd love to see the real pictures, haha.  I wonder if they stole these from myspace or facebook.  They look like prom pictures for the most part.

Purrrfect433

IDK. If you are that domineering with your wife, whom you supposedly love and cherish, etc. then how could they not think children need the same, "firm-because-we-love-you" hand? I feel like it's so much more psychological than just regular, kinky S&M. This isn't "put on some leather and call me Mistress while I spank you". This is, "you behaved in a way I deem unfit, so take your punishment because I love you and it's my job". Warped, for sure!

eclaires

I think the Parker/Brinlee blog is particularly odd because he's the one who suggested it as a way to keep their marriage happy after talking to a friend, and she apparently wasn't sure at first.

I don't know about the other blogs - the few I've looked at seem to be more consensual and seem to at least partially recognize that it is venturing into the BDSM territory.  Those I would say it would be highly unlikely it would spill over into any child's life.

It's the ones who deny it has anything to do with sex and seem to give off an odd vibe where I can see what you're saying, Purrf.  I mean, I think they are just fooling themselves, or it's part of their particular brand of kink, but I do see what you're saying.

EdithBouvierBeale

wait- why does everyone think the pictures are fake?

Im confused.

Is it just because they don't fit a stereotype or is there more!

tell me tell me tell me!!!

eclaires

I'm not convinced they're fake, but there's something off about the way they look in the pictures.  Like that date night pic in the first blog - it looks like they are off to the school dance and Mom & Dad took their picture.

Disneygeek77

I think the husband is doing it for sexual pleasure certainly, but he uses religious manipulation to get his wife to submit or follow along.  I mean the husband can't just say he wants to do S & M because that goes against the concept of cherishing and loving your wife like Christ loved the church.  However, if the husband can somehow twist it so that he isn't doing it for sexual pleasure but more teaching her to submit to his authority, well then she might go along with that. 

I don't think the wives are getting any sexual pleasure from it at all, well at least that is my opinion.  Who knows, maybe they are. 

Lisa102304

eclaires:

I'm not convinced they're fake, but there's something off about the way they look in the pictures.  Like that date night pic in the first blog - it looks like they are off to the school dance and Mom & Dad took their picture.

 

I was thinking that too. Who took their picture? I know there are timers and tripods, etc .... But it is almost too "perfect" for a random date night and they set the timer on the camera to snap their picture.

Purrrfect433

stw_77:

I think the husband is doing it for sexual pleasure certainly, but he uses religious manipulation to get his wife to submit or follow along.  I mean the husband can't just say he wants to do S & M because that goes against the concept of cherishing and loving your wife like Christ loved the church.  However, if the husband can somehow twist it so that he isn't doing it for sexual pleasure but more teaching her to submit to his authority, well then she might go along with that. 

I don't think the wives are getting any sexual pleasure from it at all, well at least that is my opinion.  Who knows, maybe they are. 

Thank-you for saying what I was trying to! It's just such an odd way to behave unless it really is about sex. The women seem brainwashed. 

r9stedt

I would think that being together since 4th grade, they would have numerous other pictures of them selves, and those would have made it into her bio to show their long history together.  Hmmmmmm

Disneygeek77

I just don't think a lot of Christian women would go along with S & M because of the negative connotations attached to it.  However if they are brainwashed enough into going along with it because they are submitting or being disciplned than maybe. 

This is one of the problems I have with the church.  Young women are told to wait till marriage to have sex because they will be cherished, loved and pretty much worshipped if they retain their virginity for their husband.  Young men however are told once they are married they can do anything and that their wives will fulfill their every fantasy.  Between the two there is sometimes a disconnect.  Trust me.  My husband and I waited till we were married and there was some incompatibility at first.  I think we both just had unrealistic expectations of what sex was going to be like.  So if a wife feels like she will be put on a pedastal during sex and be treated like a goddess, and if the husband thinks that his wife will fulfill his every sexual fantasy.  Well sometimes you get this crap as a side effect.  He can't just come out with his sexual desires and she just can't accept that sometimes their husbands just want dirty sex.  The wives also can't just say " Nope not my thing, sorry."  Does any of that make sense ?

So if the wife says that she isn't doing it for sexual reasons, she is probably telling you the truth.  I don't think she is.  She probably honestly thinks that she was disobedient and deserves to be punished.  The husbands however, yeah totally doing it for the jollies.  I mean the reasons the wives are getting punished.  It is like they are looking for reasons to punish them.  Also if the wives tell their husbands they want a spanking or whatever I think they are doing it because the punishment might be less if they fessed up to it instead of waiting for their husbands to find out. 

Zenya

it's a very interesting perspective and I think probably accurate!  Thanks for sharing.

Disneygeek77

I hate to comment again but I just wanted to add that I know of a couple that used to attend our church who would probably do this.  The husband because,  well his former mistress told me he was into S&M and his wife would do it because, well she has a habit of burying her head in the sand and would rather take the brunt of this herself than admit that her husband was into "dirty" sex.  I wonder if the wives on this blog are like this too.  Burying their heads in the sand and convince themselves that they deserve to be punished than just admit that their husbands get off on beating them. 

Purrrfect433

Hmmm....are you Kensie? Just kidding;) You have definitely enlightened me more than any of those blogs, so thank-you! I guess it takes all kinds....? I'm not concerned with the rights and wrongs of DD. It just scares me that there are men out there like that. And women who*want* to be in this type of relationship. It just seems like a big mindfuck, you know?

eclaires

That does make sense - my initial thought went immediately to religious, and unwilling to admit they were into something like BDSM which they would consider "dirty."

The women are also very obviously young if the pictures are accurate.

Disneygeek77

Purrrfect433:

Hmmm....are you Kensie? Just kidding;) You have definitely enlightened me more than any of those blogs, so thank-you! I guess it takes all kinds....? I'm not concerned with the rights and wrongs of DD. It just scares me that there are men out there like that. And women who*want* to be in this type of relationship. It just seems like a big mindfuck, you know?

Haha, no I am not.  This does not sound consensual to me so I consider it to be abuse.  TRust me I would not put up with this crap.  I have a feeling these women had no idea what they were signing up for when they married these men.  Plus if these women live in a somewhat sheltered world they might not know about S&M.  So all of this might be very confusing for them. 

Purrrfect433

You definitely have a better understanding of the inner workings of their minds than I do. I think a lot of people just get so hung up on the actual physical part of it and fail to look into the emotional aspect. I  judge them less and pity them more than I did when I first read this stuff.

Disneygeek77

Well I grew up in Christianland so I understand it somewhat.  Like I said I sincerely think that the husbands are getting a sexual rise from it but the wives are not.  However they are too afraid to say something because they sincerely believe that they deserve to be punished.  Or they don't want to admit that their husbands might be "perverts"  so they blame themselves.  Plus the added guilt that a divorce would send you to hell, yeah these women might just trick themselves into believe that this is right or to believe the best about their husbands.

I also want to say that I don't think that couples who are into this are necessarily perverts.  To each their own.  But if you for years were told that your virginity was the greatest gift that you can give your husband and that making love to you would almost be a spiritual experience.  Well yeah than marrying someone who got off on beating you would be scary and confusing. 

It just reminds me of the couple who used to go to our church.  It came out that he had cheated on her several times and she blamed herself and not him.  I know his former mistress and the things he said about his wife were just awful.  However he never left her and she never left him. 

 I worked with his  wife one time and she really thought that the affair was partly her fault and wanted to believe the best about her husband.  Yes even when he was telling the former mistress that he was going to leave his wife for her.  Just watching that whole trainwreck, it showed me how desperate some women are for a man in their life and how some women are just all to willing to bury their heads in the sand.  Instead of just admitting that her husband was a douchebag, she kept believing that if she had enough faith then God would turn her husband into the man she wanted him to be. 

lsufan

I'm sure there are some women who do it just to go along with what their husbands want, but there are also a lot of women who really do get off on this kind of thing.  I stumbled across this stuff online a few years ago, and I was fascinated by it.  It really is just BDSM with a religious cover, and the reason there is a whole subculture of people who are into BDSM is because there are people who really enjoy being dominated like that-- both men and women.  Some people extend their sub/dom behavior beyond the bedroom, I guess because it adds another level of sexual pleasure for them.  I also stumbled across several forums where women were posting stuff about how they wanted their husbands to be more dominant, but the husband just wasn't into that sort of thing.  It made for some very eye-opening reading, that's for sure.  The most honest perspectives I found when I read about this were the ones who just admitted to getting sexual pleasure out of it and didn't tie it to any religious mandate.  Anyway, I wouldn't be so quick to assume the women don't get anything out of it.

 

Disneygeek77

very true they might get something out of it.  I don't know.  The more I read the two blogs the more I am wondering if maybe they really are scams or something. 

Purrrfect433

I think the blogs really differ between the women who are in it for their mutual pleasure and the ones who may be how stw described. Who knows! Anyone on here into this and care to chime in? No wait for AE's these days.

EMT

Purrrfect433:

Anyone on here into this and care to chime in?

Yes, Jon and I are.

That is some weird sh!t...I'm inclined to think that Brinlee and Kenzie are fake though.

Disneygeek77

Honestly the more I read it the more I think it is a scam.  That one couple Parker and Brinlee even distribute an "instructional" video on incorporating DD into your marriage.  I have a feeling "Brinlee" couldn't get a job after law school and came up with this crap to make money. 

shopgirl78

I got the feeling from the blog posts that it was all just a sex game.  It's some fantasy played out online (and also IRL).   The proclaimed innocence of it, "this isn't about sex" (wink, wink) just gives it a little more kink for the participants. 

Disneygeek77

Ok I know this makes me a crazy person but I checked out that Brinlees person's twitter account and lets just say she looks like an actress. 

lsufan

Also, for a look at this lifestyle without bringing Jesus into it, check out www.takeninhand.com.

Back to Purff's original point, though, I do wonder how this affects these people's kids.  I mean, a sexual fetish is one thing when it's relegated to the bedroom, but when it extends to your whole relationship, it's totally different.

And I've always wondered what their families and friends have to say about this.   If this is how you live (and especially if you don't admit to it being a sexual thing), it would be impossible to hide, and I can't imagine trying to explain that to anyone.

Purrrfect433

stw_77:

Ok I know this makes me a crazy person but I checked out that Brinlees person's twitter account and lets just say she looks like an actress. 

I tried to FB stalk them, but both their profiles are extremely private. Boooooo. I am so curious about these tapes. It makes sense, that it's a scam for money. Creechy, is all I have left to say.

Disneygeek77

This is a c&P from another board that talked about them too.  I think the poster borught up some really good points.

amanjay:

There's no way this is real. 1., They describe the spanking in an S&M way. Seriously. It's like "he gently pulled down my panties, then warmed me up with his hand before moving on to the hairbrush and switch."

 2. They clearly aren't learning from their "mistakes" although they are bright women (the one is a law student.)

 3. They describe engaging in really childish behaviors with their husbands. Who "pouts, stamps her feet, and whines" when she wants something? Either they do it to get spanked, the spanking leads to childish behavior, or the whole thing is made up to try to make money from blogging.

4. These couples are unnaturally attractive. I know that some couples do use DD, but most of the ones I've seen (and I've seen quite a few since we investigated this phenom. in class one day) are overweight, middle aged, long-skirted fundie types.

 

Littlejen22

I just think that the whole thing is weird that they could/would have a blog about it.  How does a husband that is that domineering allow his wife to blog about their lives? 

JustaGuyresponding

Ok, so a little upfront disclosure.  I am a guy in a DD relationship with a beautiful women I am looking to marry next year.  My fiance and I were actually looking for Parker and Brinlee's blog and came across your thread here.  There were sooo many comments, some were close and some were way off that I felt like it would be great to come on and clear up some misconceptions in a friendly, non-confrontational way.  I should probably state for safety sake that these thougths are just my opinion and I don't speak for every individual in these kinds of relationships, BUT I think many of my thoughts are probably pretty close and many would agree.   That being said!  So, first off, where I think some of the comments were right.  Personally, and some would disagree, I feel that this is mostly a game based off of the intimate/sexual relationship between the two individuals.   Though I think many women might say it is not sexually based for them.  My fianc? for example often tells me that she didn?t realize this at first and it took meeting someone she was attracted to, to come to this conclusion.   Just so you know, I met my future wife AT a spanking party that takes place every year.  She and I were just realizing that we liked having this ?dynamic? (for lack of a better word) in our lives.  And we went and met and have been absolutely crazy for each other ever since.  So you might naturally be asking next, ?WHY THIS???.  Honestly, I have NO idea why.  Most individuals with this interest have had this drive since they were as young as they can remember.  I mean ages of 6 to 9 years old. You might next think, it must be individuals from abusive families.  But strangely, this isn?t the case.  I myself, come from a wonderful family and I have a great relationship with both my father and mother to this day.  And my fianc? is the same way.  Frankly, of all the friends that I know in this community, none of us really know why.  But here?s where some of your comments were way off.  First off, I don?t ?beat? my wife, consider her inferior or feel like she must adhere to my likings, whatever they may be.  Actually, my wife is brilliant (maybe even smarter than me;), quite together and will shortly be going for her Phd.  If I left tomorrow, she would do just fine.  At the end of the day, it?s just fun for us.  Interestingly enough, some of the few issues we?ve encountered is when our relationship has gotten a bit too vanilla (non-DD) and she?s complained that I haven?t been strong enough for her.  For her it?s a major turn-on when I switch into that role.  Oh, and by the way, she and I both HATE the look of leather.  The typical image of leather, whips and chains makes me cringe!  If you met the two of us, you would never in a million years imagine that either of us had that kind of interest.  So, to put it in a perspective you might be able to relate to, let me describe it like this.  You know, I think many women love the appeal of men who like to take charge, lead and exhibit strong tendencies.  I think for us, these characteristics become super-charged and our roles falling into the typical traditional roles becomes very appealing.  Frankly though, it?s a delicate balance and never do we allow this part of our intimate relationship to ever overtake our normal, vanilla life.  At the end of the day, common sense prevails and the most important concern is always her safety and well-being.  It is my job to make sure she always feels loved and cared for.  Actually, up until this relationship I have tried my entire life to have the normal relationship.  Of course, the time always came where I might try a playful swat here or there, but immediately I could see the girl was not having any fun.  I can tell you from my perspective, if she?s not turned on by it, I definitely am not turned on by it.  It has to be a mutual kind of thing. The last thing anyone wants their partner to feel, is being turned off by something that we?ve just done.  Finally, the most important thing to convey about our interests, is how this relates to children.  Let me be clear, this dynamic is part of our intimate relationship.  Which means it stays in the bedroom, just like sex.  No exceptions.  Just because you and your spouse have sex doesn?t mean you share that with your kids or even want it around the kids.  I think that if you realized your kids heard you and your spouse in the middle of sex you?d probably feel a bit embarrassed and look to make sure it didn?t happen again.  Well, this is the EXACT same way!!  You might ask, do you plan on spanking your kids?  And for my part I can tell you no.  I feel like there are other alternatives.  I feel that kids respond extremely well to structure, consistency and well-engaged parents.  But I think this is probably no different than the ideals of most parents, including yourselves. Btw, I don?t believe Brinlee is a fake.  You can be very attractive and still be into something more spicy than the typical couple. So for what?s it worth, I hope this helps.  I?m very interested in what your thoughts might be.  And if you?d be interested in hearing from my fianc? please just say so!  I just happen to beat her to the computerJ.  Just remember that we?re people to, with feelings that can be hurt by random comments that are meant to be damaging.  Justaguyresponding  

 

 

EdithBouvierBeale

JustaGuyresponding:

Ok, so a little upfront disclosure.  I am a guy in a DD relationship with a beautiful women I am looking to marry next year.  My fiance and I were actually looking for Parker and Brinlee's blog and came across your thread here.  There were sooo many comments, some were close and some were way off that I felt like it would be great to come on and clear up some misconceptions in a friendly, non-confrontational way.  I should probably state for safety sake that these thougths are just my opinion and I don't speak for every individual in these kinds of relationships, BUT I think many of my thoughts are probably pretty close and many would agree.   That being said!  So, first off, where I think some of the comments were right.  Personally, and some would disagree, I feel that this is mostly a game based off of the intimate/sexual relationship between the two individuals.   Though I think many women might say it is not sexually based for them.  My fianc? for example often tells me that she didn?t realize this at first and it took meeting someone she was attracted to, to come to this conclusion.   Just so you know, I met my future wife AT a spanking party that takes place every year.  She and I were just realizing that we liked having this ?dynamic? (for lack of a better word) in our lives.  And we went and met and have been absolutely crazy for each other ever since.  So you might naturally be asking next, ?WHY THIS???.  Honestly, I have NO idea why.  Most individuals with this interest have had this drive since they were as young as they can remember.  I mean ages of 6 to 9 years old. You might next think, it must be individuals from abusive families.  But strangely, this isn?t the case.  I myself, come from a wonderful family and I have a great relationship with both my father and mother to this day.  And my fianc? is the same way.  Frankly, of all the friends that I know in this community, none of us really know why.  But here?s where some of your comments were way off.  First off, I don?t ?beat? my wife, consider her inferior or feel like she must adhere to my likings, whatever they may be.  Actually, my wife is brilliant (maybe even smarter than me;), quite together and will shortly be going for her Phd.  If I left tomorrow, she would do just fine.  At the end of the day, it?s just fun for us.  Interestingly enough, some of the few issues we?ve encountered is when our relationship has gotten a bit too vanilla (non-DD) and she?s complained that I haven?t been strong enough for her.  For her it?s a major turn-on when I switch into that role.  Oh, and by the way, she and I both HATE the look of leather.  The typical image of leather, whips and chains makes me cringe!  If you met the two of us, you would never in a million years imagine that either of us had that kind of interest.  So, to put it in a perspective you might be able to relate to, let me describe it like this.  You know, I think many women love the appeal of men who like to take charge, lead and exhibit strong tendencies.  I think for us, these characteristics become super-charged and our roles falling into the typical traditional roles becomes very appealing.  Frankly though, it?s a delicate balance and never do we allow this part of our intimate relationship to ever overtake our normal, vanilla life.  At the end of the day, common sense prevails and the most important concern is always her safety and well-being.  It is my job to make sure she always feels loved and cared for.  Actually, up until this relationship I have tried my entire life to have the normal relationship.  Of course, the time always came where I might try a playful swat here or there, but immediately I could see the girl was not having any fun.  I can tell you from my perspective, if she?s not turned on by it, I definitely am not turned on by it.  It has to be a mutual kind of thing. The last thing anyone wants their partner to feel, is being turned off by something that we?ve just done.  Finally, the most important thing to convey about our interests, is how this relates to children.  Let me be clear, this dynamic is part of our intimate relationship.  Which means it stays in the bedroom, just like sex.  No exceptions.  Just because you and your spouse have sex doesn?t mean you share that with your kids or even want it around the kids.  I think that if you realized your kids heard you and your spouse in the middle of sex you?d probably feel a bit embarrassed and look to make sure it didn?t happen again.  Well, this is the EXACT same way!!  You might ask, do you plan on spanking your kids?  And for my part I can tell you no.  I feel like there are other alternatives.  I feel that kids respond extremely well to structure, consistency and well-engaged parents.  But I think this is probably no different than the ideals of most parents, including yourselves. Btw, I don?t believe Brinlee is a fake.  You can be very attractive and still be into something more spicy than the typical couple. So for what?s it worth, I hope this helps.  I?m very interested in what your thoughts might be.  And if you?d be interested in hearing from my fianc? please just say so!  I just happen to beat her to the computerJ.  Just remember that we?re people to, with feelings that can be hurt by random comments that are meant to be damaging.  Justaguyresponding  

 

 

iteresting. this is a pretty dead thread, but from what I remember the issue everyone was so fired up regarding this subject was that they were denying any sxualor "game-like  aspect to this dynamic.

I don't have any problem with it or feel that they should be ugly to have proclivities such as these- I just refuse to believe that it is in no way sexually charged.

the end.

shopgirl78

Wow!  It's been 6-7 months?  Interesting indeed.   Spanking parties?   I find that similar to the parties my parents attend (swingers)-- gah the stuff my innocent ears hears from my parents mouths (ew!) ,  whyTF would people get together to beat women? (ETA:  I know they don't.  That would be lame, dumb and illegal)   It's all sexual (though the bloggers in question played it off not to be).  I stand my by original comments.  I never thought that "beatings" would be protrayed on children.  

JustaGuyresponding

Well, I think saying that it's just a party to 'beat' women is a little off based.  I mean, more often than not the women are spanking the men!!  Just depends on what the individual likes. 

BUT, there's a saying that I think is pretty accurate.  Usually we say that  the guy/girl who's the one leading the dynamic is the 'Top' and the individual who is being submissive is the 'Bottom'.  With that, we say 'if the Top is in charge, the Bottom is in control'.  Meaning, it's always at the discretion of the individual being acted upon and when it's not something they want, their desire to stop is always respected. 

 JGR

shopgirl78

JustaGuyresponding:

Well, I think saying that it's just a party to 'beat' women is a little off based.  I mean, more often than not the women are spanking the men!!  Just depends on what the individual likes. 

BUT, there's a saying that I think is pretty accurate.  Usually we say that  the guy/girl who's the one leading the dynamic is the 'Top' and the individual who is being submissive is the 'Bottom'.  With that, we say 'if the Top is in charge, the Bottom is in control'.  Meaning, it's always at the discretion of the individual being acted upon and when it's not something they want, their desire to stop is always respected. 

 JGR

Oh, i know.  I meant that more of a rhetorical question.  Actually, beating woman would be a stupid, stupid party.  Lame, dumb, illegal.  "Beating (spanking) women (or men)" for sexual satisfaction might be a little more fun...its all a game. Alot of kink.