Did anyone not really bond with your child until they were older?

goodheartedmommy

Might get flamed for this...I've always loved Maile, and I definitely felt that rush of emotions when she was born, but I've never felt like we had a strong bond until the last couple of weeks. Having a third turned my life upside down, and I think I spent too long focusing on how hard it was, definitely had some resentment from how hard my pregnancy was. I feel like I've finally bonded with her like I did my other 2 when they were very young. It makes me feel guilty that it took this long, but glad that it finally happened.

KrisBriMcBunny

It took me a really long time to bond with Josh...I was a very young single mother who was extremely overwhelmed.  so no flames from me.

Ilumine

No flames from me. 

ali-1411

I think that makes sense.  How are you supposed to bond with a newborn when you are also chasing around two toddlers? 

hikerbeth

It took me a long time to bond with my DD.  I had a c-section and didn't get to hold her for a while.  She cried all the time.  Breastfeeding was a huge challenge.  I just did not have fun for a long time.

I bonded with my DS immediately and deeply.

Marchmamma

I understand how you feel.  For me it was DD#2, I mean I loved her the moment she was born, but it took a while for me to bond with her.

AnnapolisLari

It honestly took a little while with both of my kids. I got horrible PPD and didn't really get it treated until it was very late in the game.

 

DandR

yep, for me it was Audrey...she came a week early....(and this is lame and flameworthy) if she had waited 3 more days it would have saved us about $1500 towards insurance....she came out with colic and didn't stop crying until she was close to 6 or 8 months old...I can't even remember I just know I didn't have mushy feelings towards her until she was one for sure, but closer to 2 probably.  She hated her car seat and would scream every.single.time we were in the car, so I couldn't go anywhere, and the day I went back to work with her I bawled tears of joy that I wouldn't be tied to the Muther Effer rocking chair with a screaming baby....seriously.  and I felt guilty about it every day.

Did I treat her differently?  no...I loved her and cuddled her and tried to comfort her and did everything pretty much the same (minus needing to divide time with #1), but did I enjoy it like I did with #1?  No, not really.

No flames from me.

And chances are anyone who flames you (and me) just doesn't get it.

FloF9

I know exactly how you feel.  I totally bonded with my twins because we'd waited so long for them (infertility issues). #3 was a suprirse baby (yea that's right) and the pregnancy was much harder.  It threw a wrench into our routine when he was born - my kids terrible 2's hit full force at this time.  At 4 months I'm finally enjoying him and I always loved this baby stage. 

MayorMcCheese000

I bonded with DS instantly, I did not have that with DD. I would say around 6 months I really finally bonded with her and now i just love her to pieces. I did feel some guilt about it but I knew it wasn't severe (like a PPD situation) and that it was normal so I had to tell myself a lot to get through it. DD was a lot harder baby than DS, she didn't sleep, she had reflux, she is still not very cuddly. I think that may have had something to do with it.

shopgirl78

hikerbeth:

It took me a long time to bond with my DD.  I had a c-section and didn't get to hold her for a while.  She cried all the time.  Breastfeeding was a huge challenge.  I just did not have fun for a long time.

I bonded with my DS immediately and deeply.

All of this except I had a tramatic vaginal birth (4th degree tear and a baby that wouldn't/couldn't breathe- she spend 48 hours in special care).  

winomom22

It took me a while with both my girls. With DD1 she was colicky and having a baby was a huge adjustment for us. I didn't bond with her until she was 4 mos old. I was actually relieved to go back to work after maternity leave and couldn't understand why people were always so sad to go back to work-horrible I know! With DD2 I bonded with her sooner since she was an easier baby but it still didn't happen until about 6 weeks. I am definitely enjoying her a lot more and now understand how people have a hard time going back to work. I miss her terribly when I am gone-well both girls, but DD2 is just so sweet and innocent.