I have been struggling with pretty strong anxiety/intrusive thoughts for about the past 6 weeks. I went through this once before during my 2nd pregnancy and therapy alone was enough to help me work through it and I was feeling wonderful for over the past year.
Last month I had a miscarriage and my husband is changing jobs to a much more time consuming/on call position and I think the totality of the stress set off my anxiety and I had a pani attack for the 1st time in almost 2 years. I started seeing a therapist 3 or 4 weeks ago and she has greatly helped with cognitive techniques to get away from the anxiety thoughts and calm myself down when I start to panic but it seemed like I was still spiraling into anxiety/panic mode for the majority of my days. I had a really awful week 2 weeks ago where I was literally barely functioning (I had to stay with my mom to help to take of my 2 little ones (3yr and 22mos) b/c my husband was traveling on business. At that point I sought a referral for a psychiatrist for the 1st time in my life even though my therapist thought I wouldn't necessary need meds. I was just so terrified that I was losing my mind and going crazy b/c I was letting my anxiety take so much control and worrying / obsessing about such irrational things (i.e. that I was going to snap and go crazy and harm my kids; be the mom that drowns her kids in the tub etc.) My therapist and dr both feel like I have PPA issues / OCCD intrusive thoughts that I have been able to cope with in the past but this time the outward stressors in my life may have triggered it back.
The psychiatrist was wonderful, totally reassuring and we decided I would try medication. He prescribed 37.5mg of Effexor XR 1x daily. I have been on it for 1 week and feel like I am already progressing. I am functioning, taking care of my kids, getting housework done, cooking dinner, and sleeping again at night! I do still feel really "uncomfortable" during most of the early a.m. to the point where I can't really eat until mid afternoon; no appetite too nervouse etc. til then. By mid day I am MUCH more realxed and dinner time I am fine...by the time baths and bedtime is done for the kids by about 8pm I feel downright GREAT! Is this normal to have such a flux from a.m. to p.m.? Will this even out as I am on the medication more than 1 week? Just looking for some positive reinforcement? I am also working on my breathing techniques and have ordered a panic attack CD rec by my therapist.
any advice or reassurance would be welcome. I have good stretches of the day and then get really worried/nervous/anxious that maybe it IS something more than anxiety and I really AM going crazy, I feel like I'm constantly having myself under a microscope right now - checking in, and analyzing my mental state at all times. I just need to think about other things!