over worried

hampson6

Do any of you ladies that are prengant again after having a loss feeling overly worried. I have been second guessing the doctors and even made them give me another ultra sound since they are not starting my monthly ones until 18 weeks. See we lost our first daughter at 32 weeks due to hydrops and they dont know what caused it. And with the additional unltra sounds very 4 weeks they should be able to catch a issue early and correct it. I can not get over the feeling that it will happen again. Any one else feeling this way. And how to you get over it.

rvandiver0705

I am so sorry for your loss.  I have not experienced anything close to what you have gone through, but I know there is a group of amazing women on the Pregnant After a Loss board.  They may have some suggestions.  Good luck!

radak

I am so sorry for your loss.  I have had a couple early losses.  There are somethings that just aren't going to go away.  One of my losses came right after having intercourse with my husband.  As I hear stories of pelvic rest for so many women, for things that probably would not have been caught but for a recent ultrasound, it makes me very worried to have intercourse.  I am scared for everything. I don't know that that will ever go away. 

 I have stalked the Preg after loss board, and the thing that helps me (which I saw on that board) is the mantra: today I am pregnant and I love my baby.  Today, at this moment, I am not going to be afraid to be excited or to experience my pregnancy the way other women do.  Today, at this moment, I am pregnant and so I am going to love my baby, and let everything else go (including my fears and worries). 

bunnie712

I'm very sorry for your loss.  Mine was very early (but with very difficult timing), so making it this far has helped a majority of my fears.  I'm sorry that you have to worry about things and won't be at your "almost safe" point until 32 weeks.  I agree with PP about the mantra "today I'm pregnant and I love my baby"; I repeat to myself as often as needed.

It's hard to feel robbed of the realatively carefree pregnancy that was once idealized.  I was so naive to everything the first time around.  On the positive side, it taught me sensitivity and compassion for others that I otherwise probably would not have.  There is something to be said about being blissfully ignorant.

Another thing I thought of while in the wiating room of a previous OB appt. was that if I could put myself 9 months from now - what would be my biggest regret about my pregnancy.  For me, I think my biggest regret would be not letting myself get excited.  That started to set the tone for where I'm at with things today.  There's still good days and bad days for positivity, but after that realization, the good started to outnumber the bad.

magdalina.h

Oh yeah I've been feeling the exact same way! I'm going every 2 weeks with an u/s once a month. I figure that if my cord fvcks up again they hopefully can catch it a little sooner to get the steroid shots in. (I read that they can also help strengthen the vessels in the veins)  I've just tried to go with the motto that today I'm pregnant and I love this baby. I'm trying to enjoy the pregnancy as much as I can.