Question about husband traveling close to due date

lhellem

This is my first baby and I am hoping to hear some opinions on whether or not it's a good idea for my husband to travel 2 weeks before my EDD.

Just a little background...he and I are HUGE Florida State fans and before we found out we were pregnant, had planned (along with a big group of friends) to go to a game against Oklahoma the weekend of September 11th.  This is a game we had actually planned to attended a few years ago as soon as we found out it was on the schedule.  I am due on September 27th so obviously I will not be going but I know that my husband would still really like to go...and quite frankly, I would like for him to be able to go to but I just don't know if it would be a bad idea to have him so far away when I am so far along.

The original plan was for us to all rent an RV and make a road trip out of it but if he does end up going he would fly so that he could get back more quickly if necessary.  My worry is that, it's not like he'd be in New York where there are flights leaving every hour for Atlanta...he'd be in Norman, OK and who knows how quickly he could get out.  Also, I know that in Tallahassee on game days, especially for big games, it can be tough to make cell phone calls in or out because that many extra people in a small-ish city tends to overload the cell towers.  I've never been to Norman but I would imagine that they have some of the same issues from time to time and I don't know what I would do if I did go in to labor and couldn't even reach him!

I guess what I'm asking is...are these unreasonable things to be worried about?  As a newbie, 2 weeks from my EDD seems really close to me but I'm wondering if that is just my inexperience talking and that maybe it isn't as big of a deal as it seems like it is.  Plus, I realize that labor isn't usually a quick process so if it did take 8 hours for him to get home, he could still be back in plenty of time and maybe I shouldn't be so concerned.  Now, don't get me wrong...my husband isn't trying to talk me in to it by any means.  We are both just wondering if we are being overly precautious.   Like if we will look back on this in a few years and think...I can't believe we were so worried about that!  And if he does decide to go, what kinds of contingency plans would you recommend we put in place...just in case.

I'm sure this is one of those things where if he doesn't go...she'll end up being a week late but if he does....my water will break right at kick-off!  Isn't that the way it always seems to work out?  I know it's not exactly essential travel but if the general consensus is that it's not such a big deal, I'd love for him to be able to go...and even though he says he doesn't care, I know he'd love to go to.

Just figured I would get some third party perspective and see what you all think!

Thanks in advance   

mlc92404

So I will tell you about my experience with our first.  My water broke at home, 38 weeks to the day.  I hadn't had any contractions, BH or otherwise.  No real reason to think it was coming.  This was 10pm at night.....the next day they started pitocin at 8am, got my epi at 11am, 8cm by noon, started pushing at 1 and DS was born an hour later at 201pm. 

Now I know a lot of people will say that your first RARELY comes early, and that its typically not a fast delivery with your first.......I thought both of those things when I was pg.  You just never know!!  If you have family in the area that can be with you until DH gets home and you feel comfortable letting him go then I say let him go.  But make SURE he has a way to get to the airport quickly if you call him and make sure you have EVERYONE's cell phone number in case he's not answering his cell phone.

SpartanChick88

DH isn't allowed to travel in October period.  The guys are going to a Georgia game and they scheduled it for Sept. 18 so that he could go.  I don't think it's at all unreasonable to be nervous about him being so far away.  Put it to him this way - if she comes early, does he really want to miss the birth of his first child because he was at a football game?

That.Just.Happened

I don't think those are unreasonable things for you to be worried about but I think it is really nice that you are considering letting him go anyway.  I guess for me it would come down to how easy/expensive would it be for him to get a last minute flight home if need be.  The cell phone thing wouldn't worry me as much, I would think between him and all your other friends that will be there, you would be able to get in touch with him even if you have to go through one of them. 

rlyttle

I personally told my husband I would be uncomfortable with him traveling the last few weeks of my pregnancy. He thinks it's a pretty reasonable request, so no issues here. Good luck!!

nicole0719

It is nice that you are considering that for his sake....however, let me tell you about my first I was 38 weeks to the day and went to my ob appt in the am, he checked me said everything was fine adn they would prob induce me later that week due to GD. I got home and at 1 pm my water broke - no signs that labor would be starting and no contractions. I had a quick labor, my son was born at 9:18pm, only 8 hours after my water broke. So just be aware that while it is rare for first time moms to have and early delivery or quick labor it does happen and you run the risk of being without him for delivery.

lvnbraves

One other thing to think about around game days it can be near impossible to get a flight in/out of those small towns.  I went to a Big 12 school in a small town and the weekends around home games were no travel times - because you couldn't get in or out. 

If he got there and you went in to labor, say 3 hours after the game, would he even be able to get a flight back?  

Carolyn311

I just had a similar conversation with DH yesterday.  DH owns his own finish carpentry business and is going to be working on a large job on Martha's Vineyard (island off the coast of MA) for a total of about 5 months.  His plan is to stay on the island during the week and come home on the weekends.  Luckily he gets cell phone service in the area he will be working/staying...but the ferry service stops running at 9pm and starts again at 6am.  His plan is to not make any overnight trips the two weeks prior to EDD.  Granted total travel time is only about 3 hours.

Like PP said, I feel comfortable with this because I know I can find a ride to the hospital if needed through my network of friends in the area (even in the middle of the night!) and my sister lives about 5 miles away from the hospital...so hopefully worse case is I can get the hospital and have her there until DH can show up/or miss the whole thing!  But we are comfortable with this.  If you don't have a back up plan or not comfortable then don't let him travel.

 But I agree with you too.  I feel like just because we have this arrangement my water will break in the middle of the week, 3 weeks before EDD, at 10pm!  Oh well!

c1kaestner

No you are not crazy for worrying.

IMO if he is going to go I'd say try to book a flight now. That way you know when he is coming home and if you need to you can attempt to slow labor that long. It will also be cheaper to get a ticket now and you can guarantee what flight he is on. 

As for the cell phone a lot of times if you can't get a call through you can tend to get a text through. But make sure you have all the friends numbers as well just so you have the best chance. You can also check with the field security if there is an emergency if you can call them give them his seat number and they can get the message to him. 

Talk through it with your hubby and do what you guys are comfortable with. 

Nephs13

My DH and I are having a similar issue: his best friend is getting married on Oct. 2nd in Kansas City, and DH was asked to be the officiant of the wedding.  I'm due on Oct. 19 and we live in Houston, so there's no way I plan on traveling, but really would feel badly forbidding him to go.  It's a 2-3 hour trip by plane, so at this point we're hoping that will provide enough time should anything happen.  We are also having my mom fly down to stay with me so I won't be alone, just in case.  However, we had our first childbirth class last night and it seemed to really hit home to him that the baby is coming, and he started questioning the whole wedding trip.  It's like it didn't strike him as real until last night, especially that a due date doesn't really mean squat!

I would just have some contingency plans in place (flight schedule in case of emergency, other family/friends staying with you) and then see how you are feeling close to game day.  This is what we are planning on doing for our own situation.

MTAngel

I wouldn't be comfortable with that. DH and I were both quite surprised when my water broke at 36w and 2days with DS. This time he is taking his last overnight trip when I'm at 36 weeks. He'll be within 5 hours driving time and even this makes me a little nervous, but chances are nothing will happen. I'd keep your DH home just in case.

hotbride111

I'm a bit surprised that he would even want to go that close to your due date. My DH would never even think about something like that.

IMO he should be staying home with you in case you need him there. 

Arielle27

This is our first as well, so I am not talking from experience... but when DH's company wanted to send him away a few weeks before the due date, I said NO WAY. I just wouldn't want that stress and I wouldn't want to take the risk.

lhellem

Thanks for all of the input!  I knew I'd be able to get some great viewpoints from you ladies!

We will talk about it tonight and try to make our final decision.  As far as getting to the hospital, my family is all local (my parents actually live about 2 miles from us) so that isn't much a of a concern but my husband would be devastated and probably never forgive himself if he missed the birth of his first daughter.  The chances of me going in to labor the one day he is in Oklahoma is highly unlikely but I think we both know that it's probably not a chance we are willing to take.  I just figured I would seek the advice of a third-party and see what kind of response I got before we made a final decision.  

Throughout this pregnancy, we have spent a lot of time talking about how it is important to both of us that this baby become part of our lives and not become our entire lives.  We've seen that happen with a lot of our friends and feel like it does a great disservice to their marriage.  I think we've also realized that until we get in to a routine and figure out what the heck we are doing...we may not have a choice

I think there is a good chance he may have to sit this one out and we will just throw a great game-watching party at our house!  Thanks again for all of the input....and GO NOLES!! 

Matilda7

In my opinion, your husband shouldn't expect to go and even if you say he can for some reason, he should not.  I am a huge football fan myself and can understand the fun, but it would be completely unreasonable for him to go.  I honestly don't think men believe or understand (even when nicely discussed with them) the level of support a pregnant woman needs (my own vent).  Not going to a game is a very small sacrifice.  There is always next year, the following year, etc. If you feel as though it is too much to ask for him to stay home (it is not), you can do something nice for him that day, like host a game-watching party at your home, or something...  But, regardless of whether or not your child comes that weekend, you need him there - if not, you'll be stressed out the whole time and that is not good for you either.