need advice for deciding on #2

meg1974

We're trying to decide if we want to have another child. If we do, it will be soon, so we will have 2 under 2.

DH and I are a little older than traditional child bearing age, and honestly we feel pretty exhausted with DD.  She's wonderful, don't get me wrong, but her sleeping is not ideal, and I feel like I don't get a lot of breaks. 

A lot of people have told me that the second one is easier b/c you are more used to it. Have you found that to be the case?

TIA for your thoughts! 

smerka

I can let you know in a couple weeks.  There are so many pros and cons to the differences in ages between kids that after awhile you just kind of have to jump in with both feet and take it as it comes.  We didn't make conscious decision to have #2 (accident), but my hope is that in a couple of years I won't be able to imagine why people space their kids out.  At least that's what I keep telling myself to keep my sanity.

Ciconrad

It's easier in the sense that you don't worry as much.  I'm much more laid back and don't obsess over if he's eating enough or being stimulated too much/not enough or meeting milestones at the right time. 

Honestly, though, if you are exhausted and feel like you don't have a break now, having another is going to exacerbate that by about 5 times.  Once we got through the newborn sleepy phase, it's hit or miss if I can get both to nap at the same time and even get 20 min of alone time during the day.  DS #2 is still taking a night feeding and #1 is up at 6 am (and he STTN routinely).  When one is sick, the other gets sick and you are up all night.  It's worth it but if you are already worn out by 1, it's not going to get easier with 2 (especially with 2u2).

tribe99

I would say that newborn care in and of itself is certainly much easier the second time around... but the overall level of work is exponentially harder, if that makes sense.  My kids are still fairly young and very labor intensive, and the baby can't yet play with his big sister without being destructive (and annoying her).  They are both pretty intense and require a lot of individual attention at this point.  My husband and I are pretty wiped out at the end of each day.  I am hoping that as time goes on they will play together more, entertain each other, and therefore generally end up being slightly less work than one child would be.  We will see, though!

CaitlinJ22

tribe99:

I would say that newborn care in and of itself is certainly much easier the second time around... but the overall level of work is exponentially harder, if that makes sense.  

 I agree.  DD is easier than DS was as a newborn, but the work load and the logistics of it all are harder. If you are really not sure, I wouldnt jump into it. I love having my kids 18 mo apart, and I never wanted just one. It is harder though of course bc there are two now.