Anyone afraid they will regret having only two kids?

REOM

We always thought that we would have 3.  But right now, everything is so comfortable. Our DDs are close in age, they play together, we are comfortable financially, life is good. We keep pushing back having #3 (not so pschyed for the whole pregnancy/NB thing) and have discussed not having #3.  I think my DH could be swayed either way, honestly.

Sure, it's great now, but will we regret it when we are older?  Anyone else in the same boat?

MrsStubbs

Today? - NO

bebemama

I feel pretty sure I am done.  Before conceiving DS2 I thought I would probably want another but I am thinking now that 2 is a good number for us.  IF we were to change our minds I would want it to be AT LEAST 5 years from now and I don't want to do pregnancy in my late 30s, so I am more then likely done and doubt I will regret it. 

lappy9

Yes.  Everything you just said.  Our two are 20 months so we new we were gonna wait a little longer if we had a third but now every month that goes by the kids are getting older.  I just would feel bad that the third would be left out if we had a big age gap.  And i am not so sure we are ready to do it over again. 

JenninMA

Yes. We always said 2-3, leaning more towards having 3, but I'm pretty sure we're done. I can't imagine going through another pregnancy, c/s, recovery, and newborn phase. But I do think I will always wonder if we should have had a third.

KoriBrett

Nope.

My 8w OB appt with DS consisted of my telling him he was rendering me sterile if my vbac didn't work.  Done to the point of once in a while wishing we'd only had one.

rachyru

YES! That's where I'm at right now. Mine are 20 months apart and now my baby is 2 already. Life is comfortable and getting easier as they grow up. My DH (who originally wanted 4 DC) decided he was happy with 2 and could call it quits - espicially since DD will be 3 by the time we would have another.

I do feel like there is someone missing from our family so after several conversations and a few months DH & I have agreed to try for one more to complete our family. I called yesterday to make an appt to get my iud out so it's all in the works now GL on deciding. I know things will not be as easy as just having two but I've talked to several friends who simply cannot imagine not having their youngest DC and I know that's how I will feel too.

xbrooklyngrl

All I know is my DH will be getting a kick to the throat if I don't have a #2!

emiliemadison

We're done at two. It feels right for us; we feel like our family is complete. But we aren't on the fence about having a 3rd, so I dont feel like we'll look back and regret stopping at two.

isabella22

When DS was born, I felt like our family was perfectly complete :-)

shouldbworkin

That was one of my biggest worries.  That I would regret it and be too old to do anything about it at that point.  Before I found out I was PG, I was ok with being done with two.  This would have been our last cycle TTC.  Our kids have crossed that threshhold where it was getting hard to go back and I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. 

joy143dh

I'm afraid I will have regret (and harbor resentment) for only having one.

peekaboo716

Yes. I am afraid I will regret it. "They" always say you will regret having the kids you never had, but you will never regret the ones you do have.

I really want a #3. DH does not. We always talked about 3-4 kids (he was 4, I was 3). Now that we have 2, DH can only see the financial issue of adding a #3. He also doesn't think he has the patience for a #3. I would so love to have a #3, but I am getting older, so we need to come to a conclusion fast. I get stressed out just thinking about it.

My MIL told me shortly before she died that she regretted not having 8 children. It was her biggest regret in life. It made me sad.

ccm1203

No I don't think that I/we will regret just having. 

veloelle

I do not think I could be a good mother to 3. Everyone would be fed and clothed, but I don't think I'd be good enough beyond that, kwim? It's hard enough to keep it together with 2. I LOVE the NB stage. LOVE IT so, so much. I'd take the NB stage over toddlerhood any.day. I'd rather foster babies than have a third. : )

wellfleet04

We are done at 2, and I'm a little sad about it.  DH is absolutely 100% positive he doesn't want any more kids, but I am really torn up about Ben being my last baby.  If I'm honest with myself, though, I think I mostly want another BABY, not another CHILD, you know?  And my last baby will always get big, so that is not a good reason.  Also, if I'm being 100% honest, I am a good mom to 2 kids, but I am not sure I'd be as good a mom to 3 kids.  I get overwhelmed and stressed and snappy sometimes with the two I have, I would hate to add stress to that.  So, I know in my heart that 2 is the right decision for us, but that doesn't stop me from being a little jealous when friends tell me they are pregnant with their third.

bubu

If you had asked this yesterday I would have said heck no but my opinion changes daily.  If finances wasn't an issue I think we would both lean a little more to the yes we want another category.

wildfloweragain

We were, and we debated #3 so long DH finally said let's just stop talking about it and do it!

hmckeown

Wellfleet, I agree 100% with every word you said. I would love another baby but as that one grows, will I want another just for the "babyness"??

I had 2 emergency c sections, 1 preemie, both children were resuscitated at birth, both spent 10 days in the nicu, etc. BUT I still want another.

DH says absolutely no more. 

Is it that I really want another baby or do I want the "perfect" pregnancy and birth experience??

I would love another child to complete our family but would never force my husband into something he is not 100% ok with.

PinkPiano

Maybe!  We've talked a lot about it but it just won't work right now for a 3rd and dh doesn't want to have a 3rd when we are older.  I'm an only and would love to experience having a large family but time/money/age all play into it.

Grantand

peekaboo716:

Yes. I am afraid I will regret it. "They" always say you will regret having the kids you never had, but you will never regret the ones you do have.

I really want a #3. DH does not. We always talked about 3-4 kids (he was 4, I was 3). Now that we have 2, DH can only see the financial issue of adding a #3. He also doesn't think he has the patience for a #3. I would so love to have a #3, but I am getting older, so we need to come to a conclusion fast. I get stressed out just thinking about it.

My MIL told me shortly before she died that she regretted not having 8 children. It was her biggest regret in life. It made me sad.

This. Except that we never pre-discussed a number. I always wanted 3-4, DH was always a one-at-a-time kinda guy. I regret a LOT about the way my adulthood has gone and I hope it stays at simple regret, not resentment.

mamarazzi

We probably could have been done with two.  And I totally get where you're coming from -- the older they get, the easier they are.

We originally thought we'd space #2 & #3 out further than #1 and #2.  But, we were afraid that if we waited longer, we wouldn't want to "start over" and didn't want #3 to feel left out.  H was fine with two, but I just didn't feel like our family was complete.

Now that I'm pregnant with #3, I know FOR SURE that we're done.  When I was pregnant with #2, I sometimes found myself thinking "oh, I could be done after this" but never really thought that we would stop at two.  I can say without a doubt now that I'm 100% content with having three and no more.

Jaylea

I only ever wanted two.

When I had twins early in this pregnancy I was panicking at the thought of having 3 - especially with two at once.

I think two will be perfect for us, so I don't worry about it.

AnnapolisLari

I am so done. If we have an accidental pregnancy, I will cry. So no, I won't regret it. :-)

juniper19

While I'm madly in love with my #2, there are moments when I regret not having only 1.

Bellisimo

Yep!  The thought of getting pregnant anytime in the not too distant future scares the hell out of me.  Another child would send me over the edge right now.  BUT, in the future, years from now, I have a feeling I'll want to have one more.  DH would go get a vas tomorrow if I said the word.  I can't make that decision at this point in our lives though.