"SCARY THOUGHTS?" A possible reason.....

just_peachy

One of the things I have shared with so many women is the PPA/PPD intrusive thoughts that come haunting into a tired new mom's mind and freaks out the psyche.

Thoughts like harming your baby or something bad happening to your baby are quite common, although seldom shared or discussed.

These thoughts or mini-movies that play in your mind may seem so real that it releases even more adrenaline chemicals that trigger fear upon fear upon fear. 

No wonder you can't sleep! No wonder you can't function! No wonder you are having a hard time bonding with your baby!

ANXIETY Trumps EVERY emotion....Everytime.

These unspeakable intimidating scenarios that come rushing into your conscious state so quickly is most likely a result of a very overtired mind that cannot filter out years of negative news coverage, articles and press of women that have done harm to their children as a result of a massive breakdown in the psychosis.  As tragic as these stories and events are, they are a result of a very rare disorder that very few women have.

As a result, our subconscious mind remembers these horrible tales and puts a tired, fraile, hormonal person in her new mom state into a tailspin of being the worst, most demonic mom to walk the face of the earth.

Take heart in knowing that YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS.  They come into your head, and scare you, but cannot render any power you give them.  They are JUST thoughts from an overanxious and very overtired mind that needs some chemical adjustments.

Just wanted to shed some light on why some of you may be feeling horrible right now.  Quite common, sucky, but quite common.

Move ahead. One Day at a Time.

You will get through this.

xo

 

sam19

Very well said and I totally agree.

When I went into the hospital for my PPD I remember one of the counselors asking me why I was there. I told him that I wanted to hurt my new baby. He stopped me right there and told me "You did not want to hurt your baby. Those thoughts you had were UNWANTED and INTRUSIVE. Remember that." It's stuck with me ever since. During some of my bad days I would chant to myself "these thoughts are unwanted and intrusive" over and over until I calmed down even just a little bit.

vera1127

I am so glad that you posted this. In telling my husband about my thoughts it was so hard to explain to him that it was not something that I wanted to do or even to think. I couldn't help it. As someone who hasn't had thoughts like that it was hard for him to comprehend why I would think about something I didn't want to do over and over again. You explained this beautifully.

dmband102

As I sit here at almost 5 am obsessed over exactly what you just posted above, I can't thank you enough for posting that.  And to the poster that said to repeat that the thoughts were intrusive and unwanted, that makes so much sense.  You've made me think that my thoughts are not uncommon and that it really isn't me.  I just had about an hour of anxiety over just what you've posted above and in that instant I feel so much better about myself.  I started taking Lexapro to help deal with the PPD, but I'm only just going on day 3 of the medication, so I'm fairly certain that it hasn't fully kicked in yet.  I have also been opening up to my husband about everything I'm thinking and feeling in the meantime and that's been pretty helpful as well.

wombat 3

Thank you for posting.  It is nice to know that I am not alone.  I need to remember that these thoughts are "unwanted and intrusive" 

 Are some of you on medication or therapy for this and how did you explain it in order to get assistance?  Feel free to PM.

jeffrae

Great post!  I wish this board had existed back when I had DD.  Now I know what I had was PPD and that the irrational thoughts going through my mind were not normal.  I don't know what changed but around 6 weeks they started going away and I started to bond with my baby. 

I was so fearful of something happening to her.  All the horrid stories I had heard about people doing horrific things to new babies flooded my thoughts.  I did not think I would do anything.....but I was terrified someone would.  

I spoke to my OB about and now that I know what it is....I hope to deal with it if it comes again with this pregnancy.

BrideofJackSparrow

 

 I found this extremely comforting and helpful as a mom with a very vivid imagination and a premature daughter in NICU with a world of fears and worries on her shoulders. Thank you.