Oklahoma Babies

Frustration

My husband and I have decided we are ready to have a baby...So I quit taking my bc and now my husband thinks I should get back on it..Is it normal for men to change their minds? and can I get back on bc at any time??

Re: Frustration

  • I'm sorry you're so frustrated. It's hard to give a lot of advice without more information than is in your post. I would think that it's normal for men, or just people in general, to change their minds on extremely important decisions such as having children. Maybe it's not that he's really changed his mind, maybe he's just scared. It sounds like you two need to have a serious series of conversations about why he was ready and then changed his mind. Perhaps there was something that he hadn't really thought about that, after he did some thinking, made him get cold feet.

    My biggest piece of advice is don't push him. My DH was't ready for kids for a long time (he makes decisions really slowly-we dated for 3 years before he was sure he was ready to get married). I decided that I would rather wait and have him be excited about the pregnancy and child than to push him and get what I want, but have him resent me or the child later.

    As for the bc, it won't hurt you to get back on it if that's what you decide to do. But, if you guys are still thinking about TTC, I would suggest you don't get back on it, just use condoms, and start charting to see if you can figure out your cycles. That way you can still feel like you're working toward the goal of getting pregnant while you two work out the timing.

    Good luck!

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  • Thanks. The deal with his "changing his mind" is that he has not changed his mind. He says he is completely ready but then again I just dont know..It is so complicated that is why I do not have more info. I did quit taking my bc and we actually ended up having sex. Come to find out..(and I swear I did not plan this) it was according to the chart on this website, my most fertile day of the month. So I told him that I am staying off the BC and we can use condoms and see what happens. He actually was very excited when I told him that our intercourse fell on that day. So maybe he is more ready than he thought. Thanks for the tip!
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  • Sounds like he got a temporary case of cold feet. Even now that I am pregnant, I still have moments where I'm like "Crap, we can't have this baby now! What were we thinking??" Just be sure to keep communication open with DH and share your fears and worries along with your happy thoughts and you will be surprised how much easier it is to get through this time.
  • Well we have tossed the pill pack and are humping away!! I am so excited..I just hope this doesnt take forever...with my endometriosis I really worry..and I know worrying will only make it take longer.. :S
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