For those of you who had a Doula...

HappyMommy28

I will be delivering in a hospital using a Midwife.  My husband will be in the room with me.  If you have used a doula, did you find it worth the cost or was it a waste?  I sort of want the extra help but I also want the moment to be between DH and I. 

~adamwife~

Totally worth the money IMO.  The doula serves many purposes - someone standing up for you and DH with the hospital staff, pain relief, support for your DH when he is feeling like he doesn't know what to do.  I would never deliver a baby without a doula after my experience.

julyjennifer

I highly recommend it.  I had a hospital birth with a midwife, and DH and I hired a doula.  Like PP said they do many things, and can actually help your DH and you have your moment together, because they can be the runner (getting a cool washcloth, getting you water, running interference with the less-than-great nurse) instead of your DH, freeing DH up to be your right-hand birth support man.  At least around my area, your doula will come to your house when you're in labor before you go to the hospital, so you are in the company of a labor support person earlier than you would be with just a MW.  They can be a great help in deciding when is a good time to head for the hospital.  Overall, we felt supported and safe at home even when things happened that we had no idea what was going on (I had a bulging bag of waters--think a 1-inch bulge coming out of me) and it was very reassuring (she was able to say that it was not the cord), which makes you more relaxed, potentially leading to a shorter labor. 

Totally worth the money.  I would at least meet with a couple, and ask their philosophy on their role relative to your partner's role.

robyn2201

julyjennifer:

I highly recommend it.  I had a hospital birth with a midwife, and DH and I hired a doula.  Like PP said they do many things, and can actually help your DH and you have your moment together, because they can be the runner (getting a cool washcloth, getting you water, running interference with the less-than-great nurse) instead of your DH, freeing DH up to be your right-hand birth support man.  At least around my area, your doula will come to your house when you're in labor before you go to the hospital, so you are in the company of a labor support person earlier than you would be with just a MW.  They can be a great help in deciding when is a good time to head for the hospital.  Overall, we felt supported and safe at home even when things happened that we had no idea what was going on (I had a bulging bag of waters--think a 1-inch bulge coming out of me) and it was very reassuring (she was able to say that it was not the cord), which makes you more relaxed, potentially leading to a shorter labor. 

Totally worth the money.  I would at least meet with a couple, and ask their philosophy on their role relative to your partner's role.

Ditto these things! My doula was amazing and definitely worth the money.

lindsayll

worth every penny

ehair

ditto and I can't imagine having a baby without a doula now - ours was fantastic and did not take anything away from the moment, she added to it and supported it in every way it was wonderful.  Seriously I would have paid twice what she charged me knowing what I know now. 

rianals

It was worth it for us, too.  I was worried that having her there would take away from that moment when DH and I got to meet our little baby.  However, she completely faded into the background and I almost forgot about her.  Later, when I got pictures printed, I found several that my doula had taken.  They were amazing.  I didn't even know she was taking them but I was so happy to have those very first pictures of DH and I holding DD.  (I had asked her to take some pictures and showed her how to work my  camera before going into labor.)

desmerelda317

Worth every penny!  Loved my doula.  She came to my house before we decided to leave for the hospital.  She was supportive to both me and DH.  And when DS was born, she stepped back and let DH and I enjoy those first beautiful moments - and she even took photos so I can look at those moments even now  I never once thought she was in the way or detracting from the special moments between DH and I.  She was amazing and I'll never have a baby without a doula.

PlainandTall

I've had two births with and one without... even though it was "his" third natural birth to attend... my Dh was not the support I would have had from a doula.  It's worth it.

My first birth was totally saved by a doula and her info about Hoku pressure points- together she and my Dh worked on massaging my hands (for hours) and it really did work to help bring on my contractions! 

This last birth- I was in the same situation- water broke- some sort of deadline- no real pattern to the ctx... needing to get something going.  Well- I didn't have a doula- but I knew her trick... hoku pressure points! - "Let's try it honey!"  so my Dh massaged the webbing of my hand after I reminded him how to do it (gee babe- were you there the first time? how could you forget? you took turns with the doula??!) so he rubbed my hand for about 2 minutes and then told me that it was bugging his arthritis and he quit. 

#1- had someone else been there to witness- (like a little old grey haired doula)  he would have muscled through anything and not wussed out.

#2- compared to the labor I was trying to bring on... this was how hard/painful again?

#3- it's not too painful to go for long motorcycle rides for hours with friends and pull in a stiff clutch...  

oh yes... the blissful support and spiritual togetherness of your husband when you are in labor...

Cilley

Completely worth it!  I had the best birth I could because I had a doula.