Is it rude?

LadyDelilah

Do you ladies think its rude for children to call adults by their first name? Am I just really old school by making my child call her aunts and uncles Uncle Bobby and Aunt Sally? And her Teacher (day care) Miss Nancy?

Just wondering...

(yes my SIL has her kids call us and her friends by our first names and it seems a little odd)

Mrslove78

I don't think it's odd at all to have kids call people by first names.

What I DO think is odd is when kids call mom and dad by first names.

lmkelker1

I am totally with you.  I think it doesn't point out authority figures.  There needs to be a line of respect between kids and adults.  I am a teacher and I try to explain to my kinders that it is important to treat adults with respect and one way we do that is by saying Mr. or Mrs..

sschwege

I guess I'm old school (maybe it's the teacher in me), but my kids will be calling adults Mr. & Miss (first name).  

lilmgirl

I don't think it's rude, but it might be a regional thing as well.

wife1014

I do find it odd to hear children refer to their relatives by their first names. Of course, I think they should call their teachers Miss so and so.  I even think friends parents should be called Mr and Mrs.  But, I draw the line at my friends and neighbors (first names are fine there).

Dobie_Mama

I don't have a problem with children using first names for adults so long as the adults are OK with it.  We are generally a Ms/Mr family but I know people who have requested DD call him/her by his/her first name, and that's OK with me, too.

drewiekc

I'm with you.  I grew up calling adults by Mr./Mrs./Miss. so-and-so, and we plan to do the same with our kids.  We also plan to have them use sir or ma'am with adults when they dont know their name.

LadyDelilah

lmkelker1:

I am totally with you.  I think it doesn't point out authority figures.  There needs to be a line of respect between kids and adults.  I am a teacher and I try to explain to my kinders that it is important to treat adults with respect and one way we do that is by saying Mr. or Mrs..

Thats what I think as well. I think its a few steps away from having the "Youre not my mom" argument in a classroom that would mortify me beyond all reason...

LILBIT1221

hmmm that is tough. Like DD calls my IL's "Marge & Joe" but yet calls my SIL Aunt Kylie. I have a hard time making her call them nana & papa or whatever when I call them Marge and Joe. But my IL's just arent the type of family you call "mom & dad". But she uses her best judgement...most adults are Miss not so much on the men. DS calls everyone by Miss or MR and aunt and uncle. And since IL's are his biological g-parents it's nana and papa.

girlintheworld

My kids will call our close friends Aunt and Uncle. Other folks will be called Mr. and Mrs.

LadyDelilah

Beanie_mrt:

I think it's regional (what isn't).

For family like aunts and uncles, I think it's rude to NOT call them Uncle Walter or Aunt Nancy, but for adult neighbors, I don't think it's necessary to call them Miss First Name.

In fact, I had never heard of that until we moved to the Midwest and my friends were encouraging their children to call me Miss Beanie or Miss Last Name. I get that it's a sign of respect and for all of those folks in positions of authority (teacher, baby sitter) go with your gut.

For other random friends, I say first name is fine.

 

True haha! Funny thing is Im in California so I think here Im odd man out. Our nieces and nephews call us Rob and Daniela... and just them my husbands other silblings and children call us Zia and Zio its really weird... to me at least...

MissNikki007

I personally don't like for my DD to call any adult by just their first name. I'm just not okay with it. However, my nieces and nephew call me by my first nae and it doesn't bother me. Double standard, perhaps. LOL

Mt2G1012

I actually hate when kids call me Miss last name or Miss Heather.  Drives me bonkers.  I ask them/their parents to call me by my first name.  Now for uncle and aunt, yes that is normal.  Aunt Heather is what my nieces refer to me as.  I think the age difference between aunts/uncles and the nieces/nephews matters too.

wifeandmama

I think it's regional.  I have NEVER heard any adult called "Mr./Miss Firstname" aside from maybe a DCP.  When I grew up, most friends' parents were Mr./Mrs. Lastname, close friends of my parents and our neighbors were Firstname, and aunts/uncles were Aunt/Uncle Firstname.  My 2.5 year old calls most aunts/uncles just by their first name at this point because it's a bit of a mouthful for him to get Aunt Firstname or Uncle Firstname out.

Allie30

My children will call their aunts and uncles: Aunt and Uncle FirstName. Not first name-only. My mother let me get away with one of aunts just using a first name because she was only a year older than me and we were playmates, so calling her aunt was kind of weird. But my child won't have that problem.She'll also call our close friends Aunt this and Uncle that, as I did with my parents' friends.

In the south, the tradition is for children to call adult friends/neighbors Miss FirstName and Mr. FirstName. It's a respect thing, and has nothing to do with marital status or profession. I'm Miss FirstName even married. Teachers are obviously Mr./Mrs./Ms./Dr. Last Name (though Quakers call them Teacher FirstName).

My parents, even in the south, were pretty militant that we'd call our adult friends and neighbors Mr. and Mrs. Last Name, which usually worked just fine, except there was a young couple in our neighborhood who so wanted us to call them by their first name despite our parents' demands that they just stopped answering us if we tried Mr. and Mrs. on them. Eventually, my folks gave up. The other weirdness was how my brother grew up and got a job where one of my neighbors worked. Everyone else at the company was Bob, Mary, Susan, John, etc., but they gave him hell because he couldn't break himself of the habit of referring to "Mr. Smith."

Kitiara5512

I think it is very common for kids to call adults, such as aunts and uncles and parents friends, by their first names. Just because it is common practice does not make it acceptable by any means as far as I am concerned. My parents siblings still get the aunt and uncle title, as does anyone of their generation or older whose name I dont know, just as a sign of respect. While my friends kids do call me by my first name, I dont like it although I have never whined to them about it either. I will raise my children to use titles, and DH agrees with me on that.

faith194

My dh has nieces and nephews that aren't much younger than he is, and they've always called him by his nickname that EVERYONE uses(except for work).  I think if he wasn't so close in age, then it would be different.

Our son will refer to his aunts and uncles by Aunt First Name and Uncle First Name. It is just appropriate.

Our friends want their daughter to call us Miss Faith and Mr (dh's nickname). We are not offended by that at all. This is not common practice in my family, although we did call our family friends Mr and Mrs. Last Name until we were in our teens. We are undecided right now how to approach this.

KellyD01

Aunt X and Uncle Y yes, teacher Miss, Mrs., or Mr. ABC absolutely... other adults we have contact w/.... first names only. I don't see our friends as being in a position of authority. I'd have a fit if any of them ever corrected my kid while I was right there... and I'm always right there. That's the way we all do it. I'm Kelly to my friends kids, not Miss Kelly of Mrs. D....that's just a level of formality that we're not into.

CinemaGoddess

There wasn't really a standard for me when I was little.   

I never called my parents siblings and friends "Aunt So and So" or "Uncle Such and Such" to their face.  I always called them by their first name.   My grandparents siblings were always Auntie and Uncle.

Teachers were always Mrs. or Miss or Mr. or Ms. 

Older people (like my grandparents friends) were always Mr. or Mrs. 

Nowadays, my nephews don't call me Aunt or my husband Uncle unless they're talking about us, not to us. 

BFF's son calls me by my first name or Auntie First Name.  I don't find it rude when he calls me by my first name only, mostly because he's 2 and I think it's adorable. 

 

 

brittlandk

heatherm818:

I actually hate when kids call me Miss last name or Miss Heather.  Drives me bonkers.  I ask them/their parents to call me by my first name.  Now for uncle and aunt, yes that is normal.  Aunt Heather is what my nieces refer to me as.  I think the age difference between aunts/uncles and the nieces/nephews matters too.

This is what it should be based on: preference of the adult. Some people want to be called Miss or Mr. so-and-so, others dislike it. I will teach my child to address any adult with title, unless the adult specifically says "Oh, call me Heather" or whatever.

JDO

I think people should set the preference for what they would like to be called themselves. Some of my family likes to go by first name, and others by last name (Grandma Lisa on one side and Grandma Lastname on the other). Not all adults get titles in my family either, for example adult cousins just go by first names even though they are adults.

For family friends and teachers and such, I think the person should get to determine what they'd like to be called. One of my friends might like to be called by their first name, while another wants to be called Auntie Lastname. I'm ok with whatever people want to be called.

shaymichelle89

I say mr./miss/mrs. still. I will have my kids do the same. I do agree that's it's kind of a regional thing, though. I grew up in Louisiana and everyone said yes ma'm, no sir, mr. and mrs... but when I lived in Washington state, everyone thought I was crazy for using those words.

adcffaa

I think it depends on how well DD knows the person and what that person is to her.

Like:

My sister will be Aunt T-----
My brother will be Uncle B----

But mine and DH's friends, if not close enough to be considered family, will be considered Mr./Ms. First-Name

Just about anyone else would be Mr./Ms./Mrs. Last-Name unless they asked her to call them something else.

LinnyAnne10

So I have a question, 

I have grown up calling my Aunt and Uncles by Aunt Shelly, Uncle Bert, and so on...

So I'm curious for those who are against that.. what do you call your aunt and uncle, and what do your kids call them? just Aunt and Uncle? how do you distinguish between everyone?? 

 

Cause like me, I have 3 uncles and aunts on each of my parents sides..

So I'm just curious.. thanks! 

triplea1819

a little bit.  we are teaching DS, miss so-so, mr.  so-so. 

uncle W, aunt A.  

Even his babysitter is Miss Christina, even though she is only 19, she is still older than him and he needs to know she is the authority figure.  

straight first names, I am not a huge fan of, because it just shows a lack of respect.

CinemaGoddess

~LittleOne~:

So I have a question, 

I have grown up calling my Aunt and Uncles by Aunt Shelly, Uncle Bert, and so on...

So I'm curious for those who are against that.. what do you call your aunt and uncle, and what do your kids call them? just Aunt and Uncle? how do you distinguish between everyone?? 

 

Cause like me, I have 3 uncles and aunts on each of my parents sides..

So I'm just curious.. thanks! 

I'm not one of those "against" it per se, but I didn't grow up with it. 

I didn't have any problem distinguishing everyone because I only used the "Aunt" and "Uncle" titles when I was talking to someone about them.  "I went to my Aunt Sue's house last weekend and we went out on Uncle Marty's boat."  But if I was at Sue and Marty's house, I would call them Sue and Marty, not Aunt Sue and Uncle Marty.  It seemed too formal to call them Uncle and Aunt to their face.   I'm not sure what our kids will call them. DH and I haven't thought about that yet. 

Of course, I grew up in a time when people were shaking off those titles around here and it became much more laid-back and hippie-like to call people by their first names.  Apparently it was my family's way of telling The Man to shove it. 

 

lulu3061

LO will call actual Aunts and Uncles "Auntie First Name" and "Unkie First Name".  Very close friends are "Aunt and Uncle".  

I hate, hate, hate being called "Miss First Name", it sounds ridiculous to me (no offense).  Generally I think that it's respectful to call people by the name that they would like to be called if that's Mrs. Last name then LO will call them "Mrs Last Name", if they prefer to go by their first name then LO will call them by their first name.

Teachers should be Miss/Mrs./Mr. and I think it's important that kids are actually taught the proper title, even when I was a kid I hated when other kids would call Mrs. Smith "Miss Smith"....still drives me crazy.

jenniferchase

It is not rude at all. As long as the person feels comfortable with a child calling them by their first name.

Amielu

I don't know if I'd say it's rude, but it definitely bugs me.  I'm old fashioned, but I still call my aunts/uncles aunt or uncle so and so.  I would feel odd calling them by their first names.  My H, however, has never called his aunts/uncles aunt or uncle so and so.  He's always used first names.  As for our kids, I think we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.  It probably will depend on the person and how they are comfortable being addressed.

krbell22

I'm in CA also and have never called any of my aunts or uncles anything other than their first names.  Apparently, it bothered one of my aunts and she got bent out of shape about it last year.....now that I'm 32!  Really lady?  I fixed the problem...I don't call her anything anymore. 

LadyDelilah

krbell22:

I'm in CA also and have never called any of my aunts or uncles anything other than their first names.  Apparently, it bothered one of my aunts and she got bent out of shape about it last year.....now that I'm 32!  Really lady?  I fixed the problem...I don't call her anything anymore. 

Ha! Good call, you either have a problem with it then 30 some odd years ago or you dont... sheesh

JulietL129

I don't like it. Growing up I never called adults by just their first names, it was always Mr/Mrs/Miss and last name. Family was Uncle___,Aunt ____ and so on. I think it's a sign of respect. 

longingtoholdher2010

I think children should address all adults with the appropriate title. It's just respect for your elders, I had to do it as a child and I also had to say yes ma'am no ma'am and yes sir no sir. It may seem strict but it really helped me with job interviews when I was a teenager, it's just good training.